The Surprising Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Racism

The Surprising Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Racism

Emotional intelligence is a soft skill often prized in the world of interpersonal relationships. Can it be used as a tool to dismantle something as hard and ingrained as systemic racism? My answer is a resounding yes. In fact, I don’t think that the structures, beliefs, and attitudes that form racism can be understood or addressed without it. In this article, I am going to introduce you to the surprising impact emotional intelligence has on racism.  And how your church can naturally expand both its emotional intelligence and its ability to impact racism.

First, let’s define racism. As I write elsewhere, racism is not so much about individual bias or prejudice as it is about systems and structures that reinforce racial bias. In the United States, racism grants extended rights and opportunities to whites while minimizing access to those same opportunities to people of color.  Dr. Camara Phyllis Jones, Past-President of the American Public Health Association asserts that racism negatively impacts every citizen, regardless of race, because it “saps the strength of the whole society through the waste of human resources.”

So how does emotional intelligence make an impact on this persistent problem? Let’s take a look at three key tenets of emotional intelligence: empathy, motivation, and social skill. Then I’ll suggest how your church can tap into these tenets to address the sin of racism.

Emotional Intelligence: Empathy

Empathy is the willingness to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and imagine what it must feel like to be them.  Empathy cracks open the door of white denial of systemic racism. The long list of Black folks who have died due to police brutality, most recently George Floyd, has brought out a wave of empathy amongst people of every race.  This empathy has found expression in innumerable forms of solidarity from demonstrations to protests to intensive studies to calls for de-funding police and re-funding social safety nets.

How Your Church Can Tap into Empathy

How can churches expand and harness the impact of empathy? Remind your people that empathy is a key teaching of Jesus: “Love your neighbor as yourself,” and of Paul: “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”

Emotional Intelligence: Motivation

Solidarity has led to an awakening. White people in particular are grappling with new understandings of the privilege they have been born into. And the extensive, if hidden, nature of this privilege.  This burgeoning awareness (copies of How to be an Anti-Racist and White Fragility seem to be on permanent backorder) is motivating people to educate themselves. People are learning how and why systemic racism has been perpetuated, a topic Gloria Browne-Marshall and I discuss in the launch of the Uncomfortable Conversation Series. 

How to Motivate Churches to Impact Racism

How can you motivate your church to address racism? First, draw upon resources in the Bible that highlight the importance of doing good “in season and out of season.” This wealth of resources includes the story of Ruth, the story of Esther, the teachings of Leviticus, and the entire life and death of Jesus. Immersed in these teachings, dare to begin your own uncomfortable conversation. Also, join me for the next one on August 5, in which we talk about racism and health disparities.

Emotional intelligence is a skill often prized in interpersonal relationships. Can it be used to dismantle systemic racism? Click To Tweet

Emotional Intelligence: Social Skill

No other component of emotional intelligence has more potential for a positive impact than social skills. Social skill is the ability to motivate others to go in the direction you want them to go.  Another term for this skill is leadership.  As you expand your social skill you can draw others into a positive shared vision of the future, one that undoes racism.

Church, Social Skill, and Dream Like Jesus®

How can church leaders tap into their own social skills?  Learn how to dream like Jesus. Jesus exemplified the very best in social skills. He called disciples, trained apostles, and empowered all kinds of ordinary people to heal the sick, cast out demons, and proclaim the Kingdom.

Churches must wade into troubled waters to accomplish this.  If you want harmony at the expense of uncomfortable conversations, you’re not alone. The fear of losing people or of “being too political” can give churches a good case of laryngitis. But it’s time to grow in courage.

Ethical Not Political

One last tip. Instead of thinking of dismantling racism as “too political,” consider the ethical nature of this quest.  Dismantling racism manifests the Kingdom of God. It brings honor to people. It gives glory to God.  It’s worth the effort.

Still not sure how to expand your emotional intelligence? Reach out to me. You are not alone.

Forty Days of Apostleship: Believe Your Prayers Have Power

Forty Days of Apostleship: Believe Your Prayers Have Power

During this 40 Days of Apostleship, we are looking at how to expand our faith from a disciple to the faith of an apostle. That means up-leveling your faith from believing in Jesus to believing like Jesus. My theory is those who believe like Jesus can do the kinds of things Jesus did. Last week we looked at Jesus’ belief in divine partnership. This week, we explore a second of his beliefs: that his prayers had power.

Jesus’ Belief: Prayers Have Power

I have to believe that Jesus believed that his prayers had power. Consider the chutzpah it took for him to call forth a dead Lazarus from the tomb. Yet, Jesus preceded this bold act with a prayer: “Father, I thank you that you have heard me.  I knew that you always hear me.” (John 11:41-42a) Only after he prayed, did Jesus cry out, “Lazarus! Come out!”

Not only did Jesus believe that his prayers had power, he believed that your prayers have power. Listen to this audacious advice from Jesus found in Mark 11:24 and elsewhere, “Whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

Whatever?! Yep, that’s what the scriptures say.

“I tell you the truth,” Jesus says elsewhere in the Gospels, “if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, ‘Go throw yourself into the sea,’ and it will be done. If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.” (Matthew 21:21-22).

Did you catch that? When you believe like Jesus, you can ask for whatever you want in prayer. No matter how outrageous. All it takes is faith and belief. But when doubt enters in, it can derail you. Somehow, you have to suspend disbelief and refocus on faith.

I envision prayers working as a conveyor belt. The answers to your prayers go on the conveyor belt and begin to make their way to you. Click To Tweet

Soul Work: Allow Your Prayers to be Answered

Let me tell you how I visualize prayer working. I envision a constant conveyor belt of blessing and abundance that flows from God to us. You ask God for answers. The moment you ask for something, the answer to your prayer gets plopped on the divine conveyor belt and begins to make its way to you.

But what if, along the way, you second-guess your request? Or worry about your ability to handle the blessing? Let’s say you’re not sure you can integrate the new state of affairs the answered prayer would bring. Then what?

If felt strong enough and long enough, these doubts can slow down, stop, or even reverse the conveyor belt of blessing. In other words, you can unintentionally work at cross purposes with your prayers.

To allow your prayers to be answered, you have to weed out a doubt. Begin to notice and name the doubts that may accompany your prayers. As you name them, send them on a different conveyor belt back to God. Then ask God to strengthen your faith and increase your belief as you refocus on joyfully receiving whatever you have asked for in prayer.

Embrace the Belief: Start Small

Several years ago, I began to experiment with believing like Jesus. When it came to the belief that my prayers had power, I decided to ask God for something small, inconsequential that wouldn’t trip the wires of self-doubt.

I asked God to have someone gift me with a mug. Then, I practiced believing that I had received the mug by visualizing the act of opening my hands and seeing a mug placed in them. I rehearsed the feeling of happiness that would accompany it. I did that for about a week, then I forgot about it.

One afternoon, three or four weeks later, the doorbell rang. I opened the front door and saw a man I didn’t recognize.

“Can I help you?” I asked.

“I’m Willie,” he answered. “This mug is for you,” he said, handing over a slightly misshapen blue ceramic coffee mug. “Well, for your husband. I made it for him after the last construction job we finished. It’s been sitting on the floor of my pick-up truck for months. I just never got around to stopping by. Til today.”

I could hardly believe it. “Why, thank you,” I beamed, holding the mug in my hand. “You wouldn’t believe it, but this is just what I’ve been praying for.”

Apostolic Action: Build Your Faith

Now a coffee mug isn’t that big a deal. But believing like Jesus is. Master the art of believing without a doubt, and you can have a greater impact than you could ever imagine.

As you move from discipleship to apostleship, doubtless, you will want to make a bigger ask of God than a mere mug. There are wrongs to right, loaves, and fishes to multiply, and wounds to bind up. But start small. Build your faith in your ability to ask and receive. Then visualize the conveyor belt delivering all kinds of answered prayers and the delight you’ll feel when the doorbell rings.

Adapted from the forthcoming book, Believe Like Jesus, © copyright 2020 Rebekah Simon-Peter