I Think I Can’t, I Think I Can’t

In the classic children’s book, “The Little Engine That Could,” a long train needs help being pulled up and over a steep grade.  All the other engines, including a heavy-duty freight engine say no.  They’ve all got excuses.  But one little engine, against all odds, says yes. It’s mantra?  “I think I can, I think I can.”  It does.  On the way down the other side of the grade, the little engine rejoices, “I thought I could, I thought I could, I thought I could!”

Perspective shapes reality.  Truth is, perspective IS really.  If you think you can, you will.  If you think you can’t, you won’t even try. Or as Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t–you’re right.”

In John 14:12, Jesus tells his disciples that belief in him will enable them to do just the kinds of things he is doing.  Not only that, they’ll be able to do even greater things!  Seems like a tall order.  But after all, we’ve seen it.  Health practitioners of every sort heal, revive and bring people back from the dead.

Educators and therapists restore hope and dignity.  Governments, NGO’s and active communities of faith feed, support and love people by the thousands.
So why do so many churches put more stock in their apparent limitations than in Jesus Christ?  Why is their mantra “I think I can’t, I think I can’t?”  It’s unnecessary, unfaithful, and unattractive.  That’s why I’m eager to share 5 things you can do to begin to turn that mantra into “I think I can, I think can, I think I can!”

  1. Stop rehearsing complaints.  Every church specializes in its own kind of complaint, for example:  the pastor never comes to visit or young people don’t want to get involved or we never play any of the new music here.  Complaints feel empowering, but they keep a church in victim stance.  Rehearsing them paralyzes a church and drives people away.  Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, shift your focus to what you do like.  Hold a round robin meeting in which each person takes a turn stating what they like about the church.  Go around the circle 5 times.  This forces each person to dig deep and get playful with their responses.
  2. Substitute we can for we can’t.  Here’s how.  Listen for statements that sound like:  We can’t _______ because we don’t have enough ______.  For example:  We can’t start a youth group because we don’t have enough youth.  Or, We can’t start a community garden because we don’t have enough space.  Or, We can’t do an outreach to the poor because we don’t have enough money.  Just for fun, step out in faith.  Practice saying, We can ______ because we have just enough ______.  See if, in fact, your new statement is true!
  3. Play with perception.  The wind blows almost nonstop in Rawlins Wyoming where I once pastored.  It makes almost everything tougher there.  People hate it.  But Dave Throgmorton, Director of Higher Education, saw this perceived limitation as an opportunity.  Some years ago, he created the annual “Festival of Wind.”  Now kite construction and kite flying, panels on wind energy, and fun contests are an annual occurrence.  What can you do with a congregation of 80-somethings, a Sunday School of 4, or a shrinking town of 62?
  4. Build your belief.  Read the New Testament with an eye toward the great things the disciples did.  Notice where they stepped out in faith, walked on water, healed the sick, did miracles, fed and cared for each other, welcomed strangers, shared good news, baptized others, and formed new ways of being community.  Talk about these things…not the ways they missed the mark.  An excessive focus on disciple goof-ups reinforces an “I think I can’t, I think I can’t” mentality.
  5. Above all, be playful.  Playfulness cultivates creativity.  Creativity leads to positivity.  Positivity generates hope.  And, hope, as the scriptures remind us, does not disappoint.

There is SO MUCH that churches can do.  Even those that seem to have insurmountable limitations.  It starts with belief.  In Jesus. In yourself.  What is there to lose?

Resolve to Evolve: Get Authentic!

As promised, here is the first of my top 5 or 6 tips for people of faith who are resolved to evolve this year!  Here’s tip #1:  Get Authentic.  

When I pastored churches, I knew most of the people in the  congregations I served–quite a few pretty well.  We had conversations with some level of  transparency on my part, and on theirs.  Later, it surprised me to learn that all these folks I knew didn’t really know each other!
Never mind that some of them had been going to church together for decades.
They knew of each other, and about each other.  But they didn’t really know each other.  They weren’t genuinely friends.
Now that I work with churches in a variety of ways–leading retreats, teaching workshops, and coaching leaders–I can see that my congregations were not unique.   Just because people worship together doesn’t mean they feel safe together.
That’s kinda strange, don’t you think??   We bring people together to study, worship and work.  And even change the world.  Without the kind of resilient bonds and relationships that make that do-able.  Especially when conflict rolls around.
Would things change if your “community of faith” was truly acommunity?  I mean, what if we truly knew each other–our weaknesses and our strengths?  What if we were transparent with each other?
Jesus and his disciples hung out A LOT..they traveled together, ate together, debated together, fished together, partied together, fought together, learned together, made up together.  They shared living space.  Over time, they not only knew of and about each other, they were friends.  That was a lot of time for transparency, authenticity.   Tell me that didn’t have something to do with why they were so effective later on after Jesus died!
I listened to an interview recently about people who are spiritual but not religious.  It pointed to another aspect of authenticity that religious people can learn from.  It turns out those who identify as spiritual want, even more than those who are religious, to pose and savor good questions, to take on the status quo, and to freely express themselves in the process–without having to conform to pre-set norms.  It’s in this process that they come alive, and experience the Divine.
My own belief, and my experience, is that as we are more truly ourselves–without trying to look good, follow the rules, or go along to get  along–that God becomes most real.  These epiphanies often happen in conversation with others.
So, for those who resolve to evolve in, here’s my suggestion: create the space and the permission where people can be authentically themselves.   I’m thinking something like youth group for adults! 
Why does Youth Group have the potential to be so transformative?  And so hard?  There’s no set agenda!  You never know what students might bring up, or what personal problem or societal issue will become the topic of discussion.  You never know who is going to cry.  Nor who will shine.  And how the group will bond, and come to experience God.  But one thing you can count on:  they will tell the truth, as they see it.
What if we set up those sorts of experiences for adults as well as youth?  Experiences which let us truly get to know each other:  the good, the bad, and the ugly.  Here’s what I say:  Let go of the pre-set agendas, and set the stage for transparency, tears, revelations, honesty.   Kinda like Jesus did.
In his book Missional Renaissance, Reggie McNeal writes that for churches looking to go missional, people development must take priority over program development. Authenticity is a must for people development.
This year, as you resolve to evolve, resolve to get to know each other–at a whole new level.  And do it more than just once a year.  Plan a series of experiences that reward play, self-revelation, and self-awareness.  In a word:  authenticity. By all means, do it intergenerationally, whenever possible.
Some ideas:

  • Plan a retreat together.
  • Go out to dinner together or have potlucks.
  • Hike or ski together.
  • Share your spiritual journeys.
  • Do a project that groups or pairs people up and requires them to get to know each other.

If you’re looking for a retreat that builds a sense of the common good, and helps people truly get to know themselves and each other, click here to check out For the Common Good!
By the way, thanks to all those who answered last week’s fun question about Mr. Banks.  We had a tie for the free book:  congrats to winners GW Bill Warren and Deb Polanski!
Stay tuned for next week’s tip!