The Complaint Trap

The Complaint Trap

by | Jul 19, 2021

For three days in an Airbnb rental in a cozy Atlanta neighborhood, my team and I took a spiritual retreat that led us to the topic of polarization.  Nine of us worshiped together, laughed and played together, ate meals together, envisioned the coming year together, and worked on some detailed processes together.

We built team spirit, shared organizational knowledge, and strengthened our commitment to a shared vision of the future.

But that’s not all we did.  We also complained. And contributed to polarization.

I wish I could tell you that we were high-minded the entire time we were together.  But the truth is, we weren’t. We met during the impeachment process in 2020. Since then, we’ve seen even more polarizing issues including the battle against COVID-19, the Black Lives Matter movement and LGBTQ protests. It almost seems like, during the last year, there was a new issue each week creating a divide amongst the public. During the retreat, we spent time worrying and wondering out loud. Worrying and wondering quickly devolved into complaining.  Complaining led to polarization.  That is, until one person piped up and said, “Hey people!  it’s time to either take action or be quiet.”

This happens frequently in congregations as well. Complaining keeps congregations, and people, stuck in the problem rather than taking action to solve it. By taking action, we can identify a solution to the problem at hand. Don’t let the complaint trap snare your congregation.

I wonder if that’s what happened in Jesus’ day as well

After all, he lived in a time of religious and political polarization.  Sadducees and Pharisees didn’t have much love for each other: they disagreed on matters of faith, culture, biblical interpretation, and relations with Rome.  Neither group saw eye to eye with the Zealots or the Essenes.  Each of the four parties related differently to the Temple, and envisioned different futures for the Jewish people. Independent folks not aligned with any Jewish party were often overlooked.  Overall, folks were upset, torn, and afraid.

In the midst of it all, Jesus stood apart from the prognosticators of his day.  He didn’t align fully with the Sadducees, the Pharisees, the Zealots or the Essenes.  While he borrowed from the wisdom of each group, he kept his own counsel.  Instead of following prescribed party lines, Jesus lifted up a vision for the future that transcended any of the narratives of the day.  That’s why he could have such a diverse following.  His “tribe” included a tax collector, Pharisees, independents, Zealots, and Temple authorities.  Even Romans and non-Jews.

How did he do it? His Kingdom of God vision preferenced ethics over politics.  Consider his various teaching.  Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall see God.  Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Whatever you have done unto the least of these, you have done unto me. Judge not lest you be judged.

With Jesus at the helm, the apostles didn’t, couldn’t, sit around and complain.  They had to move into action.

My team and I took a hint from our team member, and from Jesus, and moved from complaint to accountable actions, from partisan polarization to Kingdom ethics. Organized around Micah 6:8 (NIV)—”He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”—I want to share with you some of the actions members our diverse team have committed to:

Act Justly

  • Participate with Justice for our Neighbors, a United Methodist organization that works with immigrants and immigration issues
  • Talk with members of the local community to see where justice is needed
  • Volunteer with Solidarity Now to advocate for children’s rights at the Mexican border
  • Make sure adult children are educated on our nation’s history

Love Mercy

  • Teach daughters to name three gratitudes daily
  • Family check-in on how each member served or helped another human being each day
  • Speak up about cancerous “isms” and how they reinforce injustice

Walk Humbly with Your God

  • Pray to love those whose views/beliefs differ
  • For the members of minority groups throughout this country
  • For the nation daily
  • And for one’s own soul

Partisan politics is a spectator sport, a blood sport, in which there is actually very little personal participation. Like football, the spectators react to the players on the field, but risk very little personally.

Kingdom ethics, on the other hand, requires personal involvement, and the opening of one’s heart, mind and soul—and sometimes even home—to connect with people who are very different. Kingdom ethics strengthen the whole.  If it’s us v. them, then it’s not the Kingdom.

When polarization wins, we all lose. There is a Christian alternative.

If you’re interested in learning about How to Create a Culture of Renewal, sign up for one of our upcoming courses here. Our next session is on August 3rd!

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Voting Rights, Justice, and Faith

Voting Rights, Justice, and Faith

by | Oct 14, 2020

U.S. law is deeply embedded with systemic racism. It is also deeply embedded in the history of faith communities.

That’s why, since the murder of George Floyd, I have been hosting “The Uncomfortable Conversation Series.” In these hour-long discussions, spiritual leaders are engaged in deep listening and heartfelt discussions. Each conversation has subject matter experts sharing their views on various aspects of racism. The legal system, healthcare, access to food, and the voting process are all woven by racist policies.

With the presidential election less than 30 days away, “Racism, Redlining, Re-Districting and Voting Rights” couldn’t have been a more timely topic for October’s Uncomfortable Conversation. My guests included David Daley, best-selling author, and senior fellow for FairVote. David is a nonpartisan champion of electoral reforms, widely recognized as one of the leading national authorities on voting rights and partisan gerrymandering. Gilda Daniels also joined me, Assistant Professor at the University of Baltimore School of Law. She is a voting rights expert and former Deputy Chief in the U.S. Dept. of Justice Civil Rights Division Voting Section. Gilda served in both the Clinton and Bush administrations.

Voting and Faith

You might ask what voting has to do with faith. Or what faith leaders can say about voting. I did.

Professor Gilda Daniels, the daughter and granddaughter of Baptist preachers answered me this way. “I quote this scripture in my book: 2 Timothy 3:5, ‘Having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof.’ Using that analogy toward our democracy, we have a form of democracy. Still, it is not operating into its full power as long as it continues to suppress and prevent people from participating freely and fairly. I do not see any difference between talking about Jesus, liberation, and freedom. He came to set the captives free from discrimination.”

If our form of government re-encaptivates people through voter suppression, which you can learn about in the video, then that’s not the last word for the Christian. Jesus promises something better, something bigger, something freer than the system as it is.

You might ask what voting has to do with faith. Or what faith leaders can say about voting. Read more here: Click To Tweet

As we move toward an election that will set the course of our country for decades to come, I invite you to listen to this discussion with my knowledgeable guests. Afterward, respond with your action to further the ministry of Jesus, who came to set the captives free.

And don’t forget to vote.

What to Leave Out in Conversations about Race

What to Leave Out in Conversations about Race

by | Jul 22, 2020

Law, custom, and even religion are intertwined with racism. It’s so pervasive that it’s not always easy to identify, let alone dismantle. We must approach Constructive conversations about racism with emotional intelligence.

I have written about arriving at workable definitions of racism and the surprising impact of emotional intelligence on racism. 

Now, let’s talk about what to leave out in conversations about race. Knowing what to leave out is just as important as what to include.

When people are passionate about a topic—whether passionately for or passionately against—unbridled emotion can easily lead to destructive responses. Destructive responses such as belittling, defensiveness, dismissing opinions, and passive-aggressive behavior strip others’ humanity. While these kinds of reactions may feel satisfying, they don’t advance the conversation. Because they don’t dignify people, hard as it may be, it’s best to leave them out.

Using Emotional Intelligence in Constructive Conversations about Race

On the other hand, while perhaps not immediately satisfying, productive responses will get you farther in the conversation. Apologizing, determining the root of the problem, and taking ownership of your part in a situation will help. Giving people space and time, acknowledging others’ feelings, and seeking active resolution will help. Separating emotions from facts, communicating respectfully, listening, and being aware of your senses will help. These are the kinds of behavior that create space for change.

Effective responses can be harder to live than knee-jerk destructive reactions. However, responding in these ways will grant dignity to yourself and the other parties involved. At the heart of it, acknowledging others’ humanity is one of Christian life’s deep values.

Uncomfortable Conversations

Racism is not easy to identify, let alone dismantle. Approach constructive conversations about racism with emotional intelligence. Click To Tweet

Gloria Browne-Marshall, my guest on the Uncomfortable Conversations series, writes in Race, Law, and American Society that “Justice is an ongoing quest. Freedom for people of color in America began as a fight for physical liberty. It continued as a struggle for constitutional protections and remains a battle against forces that would relegate people to a perpetual underclass based on color and tradition.”

Together, let’s weather that battle for Justice with dignity intact. We do this by fine-tuning what kind of behavior to include and what to leave out. Doing the work of transforming racism is too important not to get right.

A Christian Alternative to Polarization

A Christian Alternative to Polarization

by | Feb 10, 2020

For three days in an Airbnb rental in a cozy Atlanta neighborhood, my team and I took a spiritual retreat.  Nine of us worshiped together, laughed and played together, ate meals together, envisioned the coming year together, and worked on some detailed processes together.

We built team spirit, shared organizational knowledge, and strengthened our commitment to a shared vision of the future.

But that’s not all we did.  We also complained. And contributed to polarization.

I wish I could tell you that we were high-minded the entire time we were together.  But the truth is, we weren’t. We met in the middle of the impeachment process.  We spent some time worrying and wondering out loud how things had gotten to this point. Worrying and wondering quickly devolved into complaining.  Complaining led to polarization.  That is, until one person piped up and said, “Hey people!  it’s time to either take action or be quiet.”

I wonder if that’s what happened in Jesus’ day as well.  After all, he lived in a time of religious and political polarization.  Sadducees and Pharisees didn’t have much love for each other: they disagreed on matters of faith, culture, biblical interpretation, and relations with Rome.  Neither group saw eye to eye with the Zealots or the Essenes.  Each of the four parties related differently to the Temple, and envisioned different futures for the Jewish people. Independent folks not aligned with any Jewish party were often overlooked.  Overall, folks were upset, torn, and afraid.

In the midst of it all, Jesus stood apart from the prognosticators of his day.  He didn’t align fully with the Sadducees, the Pharisees, the Zealots or the Essenes.  While he borrowed from the wisdom of each group, he kept his own counsel.  Instead of following prescribed party lines, Jesus lifted up a vision for the future that transcended any of the narratives of the day.  That’s why he could have such a diverse following.  His “tribe” included a tax collector, Pharisees, independents, Zealots, and Temple authorities.  Even Romans and non-Jews.

How did he do it? His Kingdom of God vision preferenced ethics over politics.  Consider his various teaching.  Blessed are the poor in spirit, for they shall see God.  Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Whatever you have done unto the least of these, you have done unto me. Judge not lest you be judged.

With Jesus at the helm, the apostles didn’t, couldn’t, sit around and complain.  They had to move into action.

My team and I took a hint from our team member, and from Jesus, and moved from complaint to accountable actions, from partisan polarization to Kingdom ethics. Organized around Micah 6:8 (NIV)—”He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God”—I want to share with you some of the actions members our diverse team have committed to:

Act Justly

  • Participate with Justice for our Neighbors, a United Methodist organization that works with immigrants and immigration issues
  • Register with Vote Run Lead, an organization that trains women for public office
  • Talk with members of the local community to see where justice is needed
  • Open up home on weekends for local organizing and voter turnout activity
  • Volunteer with Solidarity Now to advocate for children’s rights at the Mexican border
  • Make sure adult children are registered to vote

Love Mercy

  • Teach daughters to name three gratitudes daily
  • Family check-in on how each member served or helped another human being each day
  • Raise justice concerns to the congregation and to elected officials
  • Speak up about cancerous “isms” and how they reinforce injustice

Walk Humbly with Your God

  • Pray to love those whose views/beliefs differ
  • Pray for the President
  • Pray for the Senate and House of Representatives
  • Pray for the nation daily
  • Pray for one’s own soul

Partisan politics is a spectator sport, a blood sport, in which there is actually very little personal participation. Like football, the spectators react to the players on the field, but risk very little personally.

Kingdom ethics, on the other hand, requires personal involvement, and the opening of one’s heart, mind and soul—and sometimes even home—to connect with people who are very different. Kingdom ethics strengthen the whole.  If it’s us v. them, then it’s not the Kingdom.

When polarization wins, we all lose. There is a Christian alternative.