by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Nov 6, 2018
How do you know if it’s time for a new vision in your congregation? Or your denomination, for that matter? It’s not as hard to discern as you 
might think. I want to share with you three tell-tale signs. And one important next step to take.
Watch for these three key dynamics first identified by church life-cycle specialist, George Bullard. If you see them at play in your setting, then it’s time for a new vision.
Blame: Watch for finger pointing. If it’s easy to identify the problem person, dynamic or influence that’s at fault—and it’s not you—then you are witnessing the dynamic of blame. Listen for statements such as: there aren’t enough young people coming to church; no one tithes anymore; we don’t have enough visitors and it’s all the pastor’s fault.
Sacrificial Commitment Required: Everyone is asked to give more, more, more. More money, more time, and more service to the organization. This would seem to solve the problem of waning energy and attendance. But the problem is lack of vision, not lack of commitment. And I suspect the actual underlying problem is something else. There isn’t something big to commit to!
Nostalgia or Anger: Nostalgia about the way things were quickly turns to anger when it becomes apparent that the good old days aren’t coming back. And they’re not getting resurrected easily. Bullard points out that a focus on teenagers is a focus on the past. A focus on senior adults is a focus on the present. A focus on 25-40-year-olds and their kids is a focus on the future.
I’ve spotted these three dynamics at play within the United Methodist Church. Consider that we have been in the blame-each-other mode for a while. Both progressives and conservatives point fingers at each other when it comes to church decline. In fact, many of our denominational fights have been framed as a lack of commitment. Some say that we have a lack of commitment to Biblical authority. Others say we have a lack of commitment to inclusivity. I suspect that the issue isn’t so much a lack of commitment as it is a lack of vision. These fights are further fueled by both nostalgia and anger. Can’t we go back to the way we used to believe, used to organize ourselves, used to live? This nostalgia is countered with anger that our denomination isn’t more inclusive or farther along in the world.
It’s time for the leaders of the denomination to muster a new vision. I am in favor of the One Church Plan. However, deep down inside I know that it won’t make much difference if we don’t have a new vision driving us. If the denomination were to split it would be worth it IF each new movement was led by a vision giving us fresh energy and leading us in new directions. A vision based on blame, nostalgia or anger, however, won’t cut it. We’ll stay stuck in the same old patterns of decline.
When you’re ready for a new vision, the most important next step you can take is to productively address blame, anger and nostalgia. This isn’t always easy. However, I want to introduce you to an effective approach. That’s why I’m inviting you to join me for my next Mastering Conflict Online Workshop, January 4 and 11, 2019.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Oct 29, 2018
Violent conflict is all around us. Not only are we honoring Domestic Violence Prevention month, we have also lived through much recent 
public conflict. This includes a contentious Supreme Court nominee proceeding further tainted by sexual abuse allegations, a terrifying mass shooting at a synagogue in Pittsburgh and eleven pipe bombs sent to high-profile national leaders and philanthropists. I’d like to name five kinds of congregational approaches. And to offer a bonus webinar on “Productive Conflict.”
As congregations do church in the midst of violence, we have a range of options.
1) Insular congregations avoid naming conflict. Instead of acknowledging violent acts in the private or public sphere, they opt to focus on local activities and local concerns. These insular congregations preserve a sense of safety. But miss the opportunity to connect with larger movements of love, prayer, grief, and solidarity. They also impose an emotional cut-off for congregants impacted by these seemingly removed acts of violence.
2) Harmony-at-all-costs congregations affirm love and forgiveness. But never name people, places or situations that cry out for either love or forgiveness. These congregations preserve a pseudo-harmony by not broaching topics that could divide. However, they miss the opportunity to model effective ways of dealing with conflict.
3) Pastoral congregations name violent offenses while offering prayer and affirmation. As they bind up wounds, they connect the Gospel with our everyday lives. These congregations run the risk of becoming Eeyore-ish, since acts of violence may always be found. Grief may eventually outweigh rejoicing.
4) Prophetic congregations reflect theologically about acts that destroy domestic harmony or public civility. These congregations actively equip us with biblical language, metaphors, and approaches to the world around us. The risk here is that not everyone will agree with any given reflection. Pastors need to be prepared to lay out a biblical case for their reflections. And to offer pastoral care to those who feel slighted.
5) Doomsday congregations encourage, or at least do not discourage, violence. These apocalyptic groups play into hopelessness and fear by proclaiming that the end is near. This approach denies God the power of resurrection.
As a Jewish Christian whose extended family is deeply involved in cultivating and preserving Jewish life, fear and anger gripped me when I heard about the Tree of Life Synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh. Will my pastor think it important to mention this? At times, this congregation has been very insular, and sought to preserve harmony at all costs. My expectations were as low as my heart. Yet, I was deeply gratified when the senior pastor took a moment to intentionally stand by the flag and offer a heartfelt prayer for the Jewish community and the victims of the synagogue shooting. “This is not who we are as a country,” she said. “It is not who Christ calls us to be.” It was a poignant moment. One this Jewish Christian needed to bring some healing to my soul, and to feel part of my congregation once again. In less than 5 minutes, she was both pastoral and prophetic; it was brilliant pastoring.
Conflict will always be with us. It doesn’t have to get violent. In fact, it can be productive. To help us navigate these times, please join me for a special one-hour bonus webinar on Productive Conflict: Making the Most of Bad Situations on Friday, November 9, 10-11am MT. Send your email address, name, phone number and congregation/location to re*****@***************er.com to join in.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Oct 22, 2018
Thomasina stood up among a group of fellow pastors to tell us her vision for herself. “I am committed to self-regulation and to be the pastor 
my people need me to be.” As we dived deeper into her vision, it became clear that she had a bad case of imposter syndrome. Highly successful in the world of education and administration, somehow her gifts had been unwelcome in the church. While she thought more self-regulation was the answer, I doubted that would solve the problem. Too much self-regulation translates into self-suppression. Then we can no longer express our gifts or passions.
I’ve seen imposter syndrome—the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved—afflict pastors all across the country. I think the core of the problem is bad theology. It’s time to break it.
Thomas Merton writes that at the core, we are in deep and inescapable contact with the Divine. Paul tells us that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit. The Psalmist writes that there is no place we can go that God is not. The ancient writer of Genesis tells us that we are made in the very image and likeness of God.
Then came Augustine. We have him to thank for the gift of original sin. Original sin is the concept that while God made us good, we “fell” from that grace. Only something outside of ourselves can fix us. And only if we are somehow repentant enough. The question is how much is enough? Most of us deal with “never good enough.” You don’t even need to be Christian to absorb this theology. It’s part of our culture. It’s transmitted to us in silent invisible ways we don’t even know about. It eats away at our very bones like a cancer.
Here is the outgrowth of this bad theology: God’s love is conditional. We believe we are never really good enough. We are separate from God. We are on our own. We don’t belong. We are “other” to God.
Hogwash.
Thank goodness Jesus didn’t have to deal with this bad theology. He might have dealt with imposter syndrome too. Can you imagine? “Beloved son, me? Nah, not really. You’re well pleased? I doubt it. Don’t you think I need to do better first?”
As I teach apostleship to church leaders, it’s clear that Jesus wasn’t weighted down by any sense of original sin. More importantly, neither were the apostles. We see no hint of imposter syndrome in them. They were free to learn from Jesus, to try out the stuff that he taught them, to wrangle for first place, and to even develop the faith of Jesus so that they could perform miracles alongside him. Jesus would have had a hard time empowering and authorizing them—tapping into their sense of agency—if they had been hindered by a persistent sense of unworthiness.
We are called to co-create miracles with Jesus. To do that, we need a better theology. One that doesn’t trap us with the idea that we are never enough, or that we are separate from the very God who gives us life. Rather, one that empowers us to recognize our inherent goodness, the innate divinity within our humanity, and our essential oneness with God.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Oct 15, 2018
I’ll never forget the time I visited Miss Randolph, a homebound member of the church. As the associate pastor assigned to pastoral care, I made a point to visit this grateful member at least once a month.
“Lady,” I wanted to cry out, “I visit you! What do you think I do for work?” Luckily, I held my tongue. Turns out she hadn’t realized the church had an associate pastor, since it was a fairly new position. But it reminds me of other mind-boggling questions asked by parishioners.
- Being a pastor is just a one-day-a-week job isn’t it? If you only knew, I have
wanted to say.
- What? You shop for food? This one always comes at the grocery store when I am pushing my cart down the aisles. I cringe as I realize I have thought the same thing when I’ve seen other high-visibility people in the grocery store.
- What are you doing for the holidays? Again, lady, I’m making sure you have holiday services to attend! Poor lady.
In this month when we intentionally appreciate pastors, I would like to de-mythologize a few not-so-obvious things, and recommend five tips:
1) Insist on Time Off Your pastor is dedicated to you and to the life of the church. Their calling is more than a career choice. Most full-time pastors put in far in excess of 40 hours per week. Most part-time pastors work more than the 10 or 20 hours you are paying them for. They often work 7-days a week. Yes, they are over-working. No, this is not healthy in the long haul. Make it do-able for them to take a weekly day or two off, annual vacations, and intermittent rest times away from the congregation.
2) Recognize Their Humanity Your pastor is a person first. He or she gets hungry, angry, lonely, happy, tired, energized and excited just like you do.
3) Acknowledge Them on Holidays Your pastor likely doesn’t go away for the holidays. Putting together special services, writing sermons and developing worship materials intensifies at the holidays. That’s true not only of Christmas, but Easter and Thanksgiving, too. Invite them for a meal or a party; or give a holiday gift or a card with money at the holidays. This will be appreciated. Sometimes, creating space so they can enjoy their family at the holidays is also welcome and appreciated.
4) Celebrate and Pray Your pastor has been anointed, appointed, authorized and is an accountable ambassador of Jesus Christ in your community. Be sure to celebrate their contributions to your congregation and community, and to uplift them in prayer.
5) Don’t triangulate If there’s a behavior you don’t like, or a critique you must deliver, go directly to your pastor. Don’t triangulate by talking to everyone else about it first. Creating emotional triangles complicates things and won’t lead to quick or easy resolution. Have the courage to speak directly with them. Be kind as you do so. Be willing to listen to their response.
In a world of shrinking church budgets, pastors are an increasingly rare gift. Respect and appreciation go a long way toward creating cultures of renewal.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jul 17, 2018
Making disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world is a lofty vision. Precisely because it can never be fully realized is what 
makes this vision worth striving for. When the fulfillment of an inspiring vision is just out of reach, it coaxes and compels you to reach just a bit harder. My question is, are you making strides toward realizing that vision?
If you’re not making strides, or progress is slow, you’ll want to read the experiences of pastor Mike Schreiner and coach Ken Willard in their book, Stride: Creating a Discipleship Pathway For Your Church. Based on their experiences at Morning Star Church in the St. Louis area, it contains practical ideas for jump-starting intentional disciple-making in your congregation. Here’s what I gleaned in conversation with Ken Willard about the book.
Ken, were there any new learning experiences for you in creating a pathway at Morning Star Church?
There have been so many, Rebekah! If I had to pick one, it’s that discipleship is not linear. It’s messy. In the church world we tend to think in terms of 1-2-3-4. We offer classes in a certain order, and even title classes “Discipleship 101.” Even the image of a “pathway” can be misleading. People are at different places on their spiritual journeys; we need to meet them where they are and just help them take their next step. This realization is what led us to use more circular images of a fully devoted follower of Christ. We believe the church’s role is to help people move closer to Christ.
What challenges have you run into when a church tries to create a discipleship pathway?
One of the top challenges we’ve faced, Rebekah, is this: Even after the team has read Stride, and I’ve coached them, there is a strong pull to create new classes. This is a hard paradigm to shift. Classes are great. Many people will learn and grow as a disciple in a class of some type. However, we believe that classes should support the church’s discipleship process. Not be the main focus.
Ken, is there anything else you would like to share with churches?
Yes, most of the issues and challenges at the local church level are Spiritual issues. Think about what the leadership team at the churches you work with have focused on the most during the last year or so. Someone’s bad behavior, lack of resources, challenges with filling serving positions, etc. We believe at the heart of these issues is a lack of discipleship. We would challenge all church leadership teams to focus as much time and effort on making disciples as they do on facilities, finances, and programs. Our job as leaders in the church is to equip others to make disciples. It must start with us. We need to be growing ourselves and other leaders first.
I appreciated the conversation with Ken. While he sees lack of discipleship at the heart of church dysfunction, I see lack of vision. The two are deeply interrelated, of course. Their advice to grow ourselves as disciples of Christ as a first step on this path of discipling others resonated with me. Through my life-changing leadership training program, Creating a Culture of Renewal, church leaders actively take this step and continue down the path, maximizing their own growth as leaders, and empowering them to Dream Like Jesus®–effectively engage their congregations, increase financial support, bring visions to life, and partner with their communities. Groups are forming now!
In the meantime, you can order Stride and pre-order Stride’s participant handbook, (to be published 9/18) from Abingdon Press.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | May 1, 2018
I recently read A Higher Loyalty, by James Comey, former FBI Director. Comey, as you may recall, was fired by President Trump for his role 
in the Russia investigation. The book was a fascinating and instructive read for observers of leadership in both church and state. Comey lay out a strong case for ethical leadership which he describes as “seeing beyond the short-term, beyond the urgent…with a view toward lasting values.” He highlights truth, integrity, and respect for others as key lasting values, saying these “serve as external reference points for ethical leaders to make decisions, especially hard decisions in which there is no easy or good option.”
He goes on to say that “a commitment to integrity and a higher loyalty to truth are what separate the ethical leader from those who just happen to occupy leadership roles. We cannot ignore the difference.”
It’s no secret that Comey finds President Trump sorely missing in qualities that make up ethical leadership. Trump’s tendencies to bully, demean, malign, lie, and create chaos are well-documented. Leaders across the political and religious spectra have noted them. Although these personal qualities are generally separate from the policies his administration seeks to enact, all the same, they hinder his ability to effectively inspire trust across national and international borders.
My answer is a resounding yes. There are three lessons for us to learn here.
Democracy is designed reflection of its citizens
If we abandon the democratic process, and leave it to “the professionals,” we abandon ourselves. Our republic is designed to be a reflection of society as a whole; thus our voices need to be heard. At the same time, it’s important to note that the move toward undermining a free press, truth-telling, and agencies of law and order, represents a slide toward fascism. This doesn’t bode well for the church. History shows that repressive governments ultimately repress human rights, religious rights, and rights of minorities. This undermining of ethical values impacts every single one of us.
The Ends Don’t Justify the Means
Many in the Church have taken a stance that Trump’s means justify the ends. If he is delivering policies amenable to “our” worldview, then don’t worry about how we got there. Just be glad we got there. Personally, I’m not a conservative, so his policies don’t line up with my understanding of a safer, better, more prosperous country. But even if I was and even if they did, there’s still trouble with this way of thinking. When the ends justify the means, we sacrifice ethical behavior in the short term. This has disastrous consequences.
For instance, very few people remember how much good Richard Nixon did for the environment—establishing The Clean Air Act, The Clean Water Act, and the Endangered Species Act. Rather, we remember Watergate and his impeachment.
Likewise, when church leaders circumvent ethics, morality, and human decency, when we forsake the truth for a lie, others won’t ultimately remember the good we have done. Rather, they will remember the harm we caused along the way. The rampant culture of sexual abuse in the Catholic Church is an example of that. How many thousands of Catholics have left the church because of pedophilia? A few weeks ago, I had dinner with a Catholic friend. She told me she felt such anger toward a church that preached holiness and personal responsibility but made no amends to the many thousands of families directly and indirectly impacted by the unsafe culture.
The values Jesus’ own life demonstrated—truth, integrity, and love—resulted in his crucifixion. But if he had avoided crucifixion, he would have side stepped every lesson he was here to teach.
When it comes to leadership in both church and state, unjust means undermine ethical ends.
Resisting the Future is Resisting God
In the end, The Bible foresees an end time that is diverse, rich, and joyous. The Bible teaches that we will worship God alongside people of every nation, tribe, and language. Yet many in the church resist this very future. To resist this move toward embracing diversity is to resist the movement of the Spirit itself
Russian interference in the elections aside, new studies show that voter support for Trump may have been more grounded in fear of losing cultural status than in fear of economic loss. The common wisdom was that Trump won because he spoke to “the little guy” about economic gains. A new study reveals a more likely explanation: white Christians voted for Trump because they feared the loss of cultural and religious ascendancy. In other words, they feared change.
When our government opposed the abolition of slavery or civil rights, it was on the losing side.
When the church stands against the unfolding evolution of the world, it is on the losing side. White people have to learn how to live in a plurality of ethnicities, to be one among many. Christians have to learn how to live side by side with people of other religions. These emerging pluralities are not going away. It doesn’t mean you can’t be white, or Christian. And that those identities aren’t important. But you can can’t insist the whole world is just like you, because it’s not.
In closing
We in the church understand the concept of a higher loyalty. The lasting values that provide external reference points for us include love, grace, truth, honesty, compassion, equity, justice, freedom, unity, and creativity. It’s time for us to live by those once again. And to call our government to account for operating ethically. We may not, and we need not, agree on policies. But we must insist on ethical leadership.
Jesus was the exemplar of that higher loyalty. He sacrificed his own life in pursuit of this loyalty. Shall we do less?
