We live in one of the loneliest times in human history. Even as we have more ways to connect, we are increasingly less connected to each other. We have many platforms for being “social”, but they don’t always provide a deep sense of belonging. In fact studies show that too much time spent on popular social media platforms increases the sense of disconnect, isolation and loneliness. Mental health struggles seem to be at an all-time high. The good news is that the church can respond to the loneliness pandemic.

In fact, in my next three blogs, I will be exploring the 3 S’s of post-pandemic community-building. These include being social, being spiritual, and being of service. But before we discuss how the church can participate in ending the loneliness pandemic, there is one myth we have to dispel first.

The Myth of Church Lite

There is a myth that churches which focus on social events are missing the mark. That they are “church lite.” That these socially oriented churches are too inward-focused and don’t care about the community at large. You may think that social events undermine the church’s core mission and will attract the wrong crowd who aren’t serious about faith. But here’s the reality: social events complement and enrich spiritual life. Shared experiences build bonds, foster support, and create a welcoming atmosphere where faith can more easily grow.

True Confessions: I Used to Be One of Those People

I used to be one of those people who believed the myth of church lite. I used to think that we didn’t have time to be social. That being too social in church was a sin. But the pandemic has really changed my mind on this. I saw how much I missed people and how the social aspect of church helped me grow spiritually. Now I think being social is an absolutely essential part of re-building spiritual community!

Think about it. If we aren’t social together, can we really be spiritual together? Can we do well at being of service? Jesus and his people hung out together for 3 years. That’s a big part of what made them so effective. We need that type of social connection too.

The Power of Weak Social Ties

Combatting loneliness doesn’t require five best friends. In fact, one of the strongest indicators of happiness is the number of weak social ties a person has. A weak social tie is someone you recognize and acknowledge and who recognizes and acknowledges you. But you likely don’t have their phone number in your phone, nor are you friends on Facebook. You may not even know their name. However, the power of being recognized and acknowledged in public goes a long way toward creating a sense of belonging.

The church can make use of weak social ties throughout worship–especially during passing of the peace, communion, welcoming new members, and children’s time. Also weak social ties are built during outreach ministries, choir practice, and even during the coffee hour. Special care must be taken to building weak social ties with online worshipers. One of the best ways to do this is to have an online worship greeter or pastor. This person would cultivate online engagement during worship, as well as at other times of the week. Being recognized and acknowledged online feels as good as being recognized and acknowledged in person.

In an age when people participate in congregational life more sporadically, weak social ties are an important aspect of what makes attending church feel worthwhile. Weak social ties keep you connected to the world at large and are vital for happiness measures, health, and longevity.

The church can also cultivate strong social ties. These relationships, while rarer these days, are not impossible to form. Look for them to build during small group meetings, Bible Studies, or study or mission trips. They require more time to maintain than weak social ties.

Create Multiple Ways to Be Part Of Things

In addition to welcoming people into a life-giving network of weak social ties, there is another powerful way that the church can end the loneliness pandemic. This is by giving people multiple opportunities to belong within the life of the church. The more sub-groups a person belongs to, the more connected they are, and the less lonely they feel. For instance, being a greeter once a quarter, attending a weekly online prayer group, and sitting in the same row amidst some familiar faces once a month are three different ways to create a sense of belonging. Here are some more ideas.

IN-PERSON CONNECTION

By planning social events together, you build the sense of social belonging that combats loneliness and isolation. You can offer diverse small group options based on the hobbies, interests, or life stages of your congregation. This will open people to deeper connections with each other. Volunteering together also helps to establish a sense of camaraderie and allows people to connect with the larger community in a meaningful way. Take your sense of social connection a step further and collaborate with other religious groups, charities, or community centers to build relationships and broaden impact.

ONLINE CONNECTION

Seek to develop deeper social connection by hosting online events: Book clubs, Bible studies, game nights, or even virtual coffee hours to keep the community connected, regardless of location. Online support groups provide virtual spaces for individuals looking for spiritual fellowship and encouragement throughout the week.

A Warning

Churches must also actively seek to remove barriers between themselves and newcomers or community members. No matter how many wonderful social activities you have, people won’t want to be part of your church if they sense they are being judged, evaluated, or censored. Social activities must be accompanied by a theology of a loving and welcoming God. People simply don’t want to be part of a church if they sense they or their families are not accepted or welcomed. 

Take Your Next Step

By embracing these ideas, churches can move beyond simple survival to thrive in a changed world. By fostering genuine connection, inclusivity, and a welcoming atmosphere, you can not only create spaces for newcomers and build a vibrant community that extends far beyond Sunday services, but you can end the loneliness pandemic. Remember this is just a starting point. Tailor these strategies to your specific community and values, and always keep an open mind to feedback and new ideas. Reach out for a discovery session for specific input on your situation.

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