by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Feb 16, 2015
We have a lot to learn from the “spiritual-but-not-religious” crowd.
Chances are, though, it’s not what you think.
I’ve taught a number of classes in church in which the topic of people who identify as “spiritual-but-not-religious” comes up. A growing demographic in the US, (20% of the US population in 2012), they are often the object of misunderstanding and pity among church folks. Something along the lines of “I feel sorry for them! How can they get along without God? How can they get along without people to pray for them? What’s wrong with them?”
True, some spiritual-but-not-religious folks are lone wolves. They have no spiritual community per se, just a sense within that there is More to Life than Meets the Eye. Others, however, are deeply embedded in community of every kind—unaware they should be missing us. They sense the transcendent in the ordinary, the Divine in the everyday.
I have also heard pastors remark that what these spiritual but not religious people are identifying as needs—community, people who care about each other, significance over success, a deep relationship with Something that is Bigger than Us—can all be provided by the church. If only they knew about the church, and would adapt a bit to it, they would find everything they are looking for!
Bottom line: We have this sense that if we can figure out what’s wrong with them, or what they’re missing, then we can get them “back.”
I’d like to propose a whole new way of relating to the spiritual-but-not-religious crowd. Instead of seeing them as missing what we are offering I suggest we see them as offering what we are (or may be) missing. In fact, I’d like to share with you 3 gifts we can glean from them. And how to incorporate them into your congregation.
Three Gifts From the Spiritual-But-Not-Religious Crowd
1. They are a living reminder of our roots. Every great moment in the Bible is defined by someone walking away from known reality. Abraham leaves his father and his kindred to follow God to a new land, sight unseen. Jacob wrestles with a Divine figure which is part human, part angel. Moses serves an invisible god who identifies as Being itself. Ruth gives up her cultural identity to identify with her mother-in-law’s people. John the Baptist leads people away from their day to day lives out into the wilderness. Jesus himself ushers in the long-awaited, but previously unexperienced, Kingdom. Just as these people walked away from known reality for something new, so too the spiritual-but-not-religious. Rather than see them as lacking something, consider that their spiritual journeying reflects the essence of Biblical stories.
2. They remind us of the value of experience over form. For the spiritual-but-not-religious, the direct experience of God is the goal, not doctrines or dogma which point the way to the experience. Jesus, while faithful to Judaism, experienced oneness with God. He even taught others that “The kingdom of heaven is within.” Why should we be surprised, then, when people discover direct access to the Holy, and prefer that over the form of religion?
3. They point to the convergence of science and spirituality. Quantum physics points to a conscious universe, and the deep interconnectedness of all forms of life. While some Christian believers are fighting over science and religion, the spiritual-but-not-religious folks are moving beyond duality by seeking how science and spirituality inform each other. This is cutting edge.
Applying the Gifts
How can we apply these 3 gifts from the spiritual-but-not-religious crowd in the life of the church?
- Encourage spiritual adventuring. For instance, you can offer classes on centering prayer or meditation. Build a labyrinth and encourage people on their spiritual journey. Invite a Spiritual Director to affiliate with your congregation. Ask for testimonies from congregants who have had a near death experience or other spiritual awakening. Give people the tools to experience heaven here on earth.
- Follow Jesus by teaching that the Kingdom of God is within. Then create special times for people to experience God’s presence within themselves. Encourage the use of creative arts to give expression to this reality. Re-think worship to make space for this opportunity.
- Don’t be afraid to explore the overlap of science and spirituality. Read and discuss books that hint at this such as neurosurgeon Eben Alexander’s dramatic Proof of Heaven.
The Spiritual But Not Religious in Action
A few weeks ago, I visited a spiritual-but-not-religious megachurch. Megachurch, you ask? Yes, megachurch. They actually exist!
What made this experience work? Excellent music that emphasized unity over duality. A welcome that not only affirmed God’s unconditional love indwelling all people, but their congregational acceptance of all people. Preaching that connected body and soul. Prayer that affirmed rather than begged.
But most of all, what made this a spiritual-but-not-religious service was that it assumed people wanted to experience God, and not just hear about God, or just work on behalf of God. So after initial announcements, the lights were turned down low so that the collective congregation could spend about 4 minutes in silent meditation. Likewise, after a rousing blessing sung at the end, one-on-one prayer was made available to seekers. In between, the music ranged between the sacred and secular—all of it carrying an empowering message of love.
Churches like this are spectacular, fun, and rare. Likely, they can’t be reproduced in small town Iowa or desert New Mexico or city center churches in New England. No matter. Take some of the principles offered and use them to re-create what the spiritual-but-not-religious can teach us: the experience of God transcends all. And is ever so attractive.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 20, 2015
Church conflict is something that strikes fear in the heart of church leaders. Why?
The vital statistics of many mainline churches already reflect declining health. The size of worship attendance is shrinking as are the number of active ministries, and the people involved in them. Baptisms trend downward while deaths trend upward. Why bring on more conflict when we’re already on shaky ground?
Fear of Conflict
I think we are afraid of church conflict because it might reveal irreconcilable differences. And then what would happen to the congregation? The already shaky boat might just capsize. And so we avoid things that might be conflictual or create tension.
But my work has show me most of the stuff church leaders are afraid of isn’t what pushes people out the door. It’s not so much a strong stance on social justice issues like poverty, racism, or gay marriage. It’s not even questions of the authority of the Bible that does it. In fact, two lay leaders recently confided to me they tune out when there isn’t anything challenging going on. They want to think a new thought, chew on a new idea, and engage a new way of looking at things. So, for most people, that’s not the issue.
People have all kinds of reasons for leaving church. I say at least give them a good reason to go. I’d like to share with you the difference between a good reason and a bad reason for leaving church and 4 Do’s and Don’ts when making the shift.
Why Leave Church?
Some people will never leave church. They were there before you got there, and they’ll be there after you leave. They’re loyal to the church and its traditions. Others aren’t so immovable. Some of them will leave if they’re not getting their way or they have been hurt by a comment, a leadership gaffe, or a pastoral slight. There’s not always a lot you can do about that.
But most people leave for reasons we have far more control over. Here are three: First, there is no new vision or direction for the church. It’s same old, same old. People are asked to risk nothing. They are bored, unengaged. Second, the church is simply going through the motions. Worship lacks spiritual depth or vulnerability. Prayer is lackluster. Preaching is uninspiring. Music is uneven. They don’t sense the sacred presence of Jesus or the movement of the Holy Spirit. Third, relationships are cliquish. Worshipers may be disconnected from each other, from visitors, or from the community around them.
Now these may all be valid reasons to leave church. That we church leaders tolerate this state of affairs is our bad. Let’s at least give people a good reason to go.
Give Them a Good Reason
What’s a good reason? A vibrant new direction that won’t please everyone. A bold, risky vision that requires big faith to enact. Worship that plunges spiritual depths, creates space for the Holy, and evokes emotional honesty. Relationships that go beyond the surface, inviting truth-telling and a community with people from a variety of backgrounds, circumstances, and ethnicities.
Make no mistake, these things will be uncomfortable and to some unpopular. Some people will leave BECAUSE they disagree. Maybe they don’t want to get their hands dirty and reach out beyond their comfort zone. Maybe they are sick of hearing about those people. Maybe they can’t understand how environmental stewardship relates to the life of faith. Perhaps racial reconciliation and economic justice don’t float their boat. Maybe they like the ways things have been just fine. No worries. The seats they vacate will be filled by others. Eventually the offering plate will be too.
People want an experience of Jesus. Of his values. Of his presence. Of his message. Of his radical love. The churches that don’t provide that will die. The churches that do provide that may well live.
Case in Point
One small mainline church I know was on the verge of closing. In fact, the 9 remaining people had decided it was time to call it quits. At their very last meeting, an older woman said, “But where I will go next Sunday morning?” Her lament re-opened the conversation. The little group decided to give it one last try. They hired a part time bi-vocational pastor who was passionate about connecting the church and the community. She wanted to create an inclusive space for all people, including youth at risk. Seven years later, the church is thriving! They have a church band with a professional musician from the community college, an active outreach to GLBT youth, a Friday night coffee house with live bands from the community, several 12-step meetings, and a free clothing ministry. The pastor is now full time, even as they share space with another worshiping congregation to make ends meet. This church has become the inclusive, progressive go-to community in a very politically and socially conservative town.
I was there on a recent Sunday morning and the sanctuary was comfortably full, with perhaps 60 people in attendance including a journalist from the local newspaper, entrepreneurs, several doctors, teachers, quite a few teenagers, older couples with canes and hearing aids, students from the college, and a smattering of recovering addicts. Even the mayor worships at this congregation! It was a refreshing experience.
Jesus had a powerful vision of the Kingdom of God. His preaching and teaching and ministry gave people direction; it pointed to something brand new. Sure, some people left Jesus. Others even killed him. But not because they were bored! We know how the story goes…a handful of followers led to the billions who now follow him.
If you’re going to lead church—whether you are clergy or laity—understand people will leave church. Can’t stop that. I say, at least give people a good reason to leave the church.
4 Do’s and Don’ts
Here are four do’s and don’ts to consider as you move forward:
1. Do prepare people for a change in direction. If you are presenting a new vision, give people plenty of time to get used to the idea, to ask questions, and to present their ideas too. Don’t expect everyone to be on board. But don’t back out if they’re not either. Ground your efforts in prayer, and trust God.
2. Do give people something new to chew on in your sermons, devotions, and Bible studies. Don’t be afraid to tackle tough issues. Just make sure to fairly represent all sides. Don’t be afraid to say where you stand, and why. People will appreciate your honesty and vulnerability, even if they disagree with you. Do make sure you have thought it through as much as you can, and don’t try to force others to believe or behave the way you do.
3. Do turn to Jesus and the Gospels for guidance. In good Jewish fashion, Jesus was involved in all kinds of healthy debate with those he agreed with, and those he disagreed with. No matter what, he remained true to himself and was prepared to answer for his beliefs. We are beneficiaries of that self-differentiation.
4. Do be of good courage! Our inspired visions, risky ministries, spiritually grounded worship, and courageously loving relationships can and do make a difference.
Without all this, your church is likely to continue declining and die anyway. Might as well give it a go!
