spirituality Archives - Page 2 of 11 - Rebekah Simon-Peter Coaching and Consulting Inc.

Is This Church Ready for Rebuilding?

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jun 23, 2023

As I worshiped on a recent Sunday morning, I couldn’t help but ponder the question of whether this church, which I’d been attending for over a decade, was ready for rebuilding.

I genuinely appreciate this church. It boasts an excellent downtown location and is filled with wonderful people. However, it has experienced numerous changes: the dismissal of long-time musicians, a well-liked pastor with a hidden addiction, frequent pastoral appointment changes, and the pandemic. While the church once held three services a week, it now only offers one. Many familiar faces have disappeared.

So, can this church rebuild? The answer is both yes and no.

Yes, this church can rebuild if:

The church is willing to SIMPLIFY.

Cut the dead weight: ditch any church ministries without a leader. Lacking a champion, many ministries need help to survive. If the person in charge is no longer available or has lost interest, and nobody else is stepping up, it’s time to say goodbye. If that ministry isn’t serving the church’s purpose and vision, then you might be better off without it. Creating a Culture of Renewal® participant, Pastor Lisa Anderson, saw a boost in attendance just by choosing the right ministries for her church. Plus, she’s got a new Young Adults class in the works and a preschool program that’s already a bona fide hit. Sometimes simplifying is not about doing less, but more about doing something different that will have a better result.

The church embraces SOCIETY.

Don’t let your church get stuck in isolation! Connecting with your community and drawing in those who haven’t heard of your church is crucial. Pastor Lisa took the initiative to open up events like mom group meet-ups, Valentine’s Day dinners, and St. Patrick’s Day celebrations to everyone. Partnering with local businesses and organizations can help you spread the word beyond your walls. It’s all about creating an inclusive environment that welcomes people of all beliefs and backgrounds.

However, it is not just about embracing society; the quality of relationships within your church matters. Pastor Lisa had several significant conversations and interactions that marked a relationship shift. These included discussing disaffiliation, looking at where the church is currently, and celebrating successes together.

The church cultivates SPIRITUALITY.

People are deeply hungry for spirituality that makes a difference. Let prayer and Bible study move you beyond a discussion about God, or a rehearsal of beliefs, into the realm of experiencing God. Getting out of the four walls and into nature can help, too. It’s easy for church life to stray into the mundane. Too much focus on budgets and buildings can tempt you to forget the miraculous. Don’t allow that to happen.

Pastor Lisa focused on prayer, making the church more intentional in writing prayers out and opening the church every week for people to come and pray, providing scripture for reflection.

Ready for Rebuilding?

If the church is willing to simplify its activities, embrace society, and cultivate spirituality, it has a good chance of rebuilding.

However, rebuilding will only be attainable with one more crucial element in place.

It’s not money, younger people, or an ideal location.

The most critical element for rebuilding is a willingness to dream like Jesus. To rebuild sustainably, the church needs a big, bold, God-sized vision – compelling and risky enough to require growth in faith, interdependence, and partnership with God. Only a vision of this magnitude will draw people into the rebuilding phase.

If you are ready to rebuild, join me for my upcoming seminar, “How Christian Ministries are Achieving Success: An Introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal®,” where, together, we’ll look at what it takes to build a sustainable ministry and create an atmosphere where renewal can occur.

Or join me for a personal consultation and learn how you, like Pastor Lisa, can become a vital part of our Creating a Culture of Renewal® journey. Let the transformation begin!

The 3 S’s of Creating Community

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 24, 2023

One of the primary responsibilities of church leaders is to create a sense of community among the people in our congregations, on our teams, and in our organization. Likely you won’t find this on any job description, but it is one of the most important functions a pastor plays. It is even more critical in a post-pandemic world. In this article, I will share with you the 3 S’s of Creating Community: being spiritual, being social, and being of service.

Congregations are not Necessarily Communities

First, a warning. Congregations are not necessarily communities. Just because a group of people gathers to worship God together does not mean they feel like a community or think of themselves as a community. As the leader, be aware that creating community requires more than gathering and keeping people together. The deepest sense of community comes when people feel connected to each other on more than one level. After all, the church is the web of relationships formed through Jesus’s teaching and ministry. And the only way to do that is through the three S’s. Let’s break down how being spiritual, being social, and being of service promotes connection within our congregations and builds the sense of community.

Being Spiritual

The first part of building a sense of community in a congregation is promoting spiritual growth. Spirituality is the deep, unique, and personal relationship between a person and their God. As a person awakens spiritually, they come to understand that they are more than physical beings, they are spiritual beings as well. Just as we must eat to nurture our physical beings, so we must cultivate an intimate relationship with God to nurture our souls. While worship, prayer meetings, Bible study, mission trips, and other activities of a congregation can open a person to spiritual growth, they don’t ensure it. Being spiritual is not a passive activity. It requires honesty and vulnerability with God and oneself. And a willingness to explore one’s inner divinity.

As leaders, we must focus on providing our congregations with opportunities to experience spiritual growth and connection. Cultivating deeper spirituality in your congregation doesn’t mean you, as a leader, need to go and create a bunch of new programs. But it does require moving the focus of what you are already doing to emphasize the spiritual. The simple practice of naming the intent in your gatherings will be enough to help people focus on the presence of the divine. Of course, the more attention you pay to your own spirituality, the easier it will be to create conditions conducive to spiritual growth among your people.

Being Social

Cultivating social connections between people is crucial when creating community. Events and gatherings that encourage fun is helpful. This isn’t just for youth groups, either! Fun and laughter among adults open the space for greater trust, and more meaningful conversation.

This can range from casual gatherings, like potlucks or game nights, to formal outings, like retreats or mission trips.

These social gatherings don’t have to be overtly spiritual. Sometimes connection comes from proximity; being physically close together can build trust and deepen relationships. As we look at the gospels, we get a snapshot of Jesus’ interaction with the crowds, religious leaders, and disciples. However, if Jesus’ public ministry lasted for three years, then certainly he spent a lot more time with the disciples than what is recorded. I am sure Jesus spent time socializing with them, sharing meals and laughter, getting to know their stories, and vice versa. Moments of levity often catalyze meaningful relationship growth.

No matter what type of event you plan, fostering an open environment where everyone feels comfortable talking with each other will help build relationships long after the event ends.

As I write in Forging a New Path, I used to think that churches being social wasn’t a high value; that it weakened their primary identity as followers and ambassadors of Christ. I have changed my mind on that. Without social bonds, people don’t feel like they belong. If they don’t feel like they belong, it’s hard for people to feel the love of God, or to effectively be of service together.

Being Of Service

Finally, being of service is essential for creating lasting relationships within any community. The service offered doesn’t have to be huge. It could be as simple as encouraging people to look out for one another, and then giving them opportunities to do it. Lending support when needed will go a long way toward fostering an atmosphere of love and acceptance within your community.

While being of service doesn’t have to be huge to be effective, it is helpful for people to focus on others. All the feel good hormones increase when people undertake acts of service and generosity. Reach inside your community, and outside your community as well.

Think about ways your church or organization can give back. Could you sponsor a Habitat for Humanity house, make a local home more accessible for someone with a disability, or bake cookies for teachers returning to school? These examples are tangible ways to serve and build trust within a community.

The three S’s—being spiritual, being social, and being of service—are essential elements for deepening congregations into communities. Especially in the post-pandemic age.

By creating an atmosphere where everyone feels comfortable connecting spiritually with God and one another while engaging in meaningful relationships through social activities and acts of service, we can make vibrant communities built on love and understanding rather than judgment or competition.

If you want to learn more about how to create a vibrant faith community amid the challenges of church culture, check out my latest book Forging a New Path. In it, I give practical wisdom on how to build the church into a transformational and inclusive community. To further your learning and help put congregational and community renewal into practice, consider my three year group leadership program, Creating a Culture of Renewal®.

No matter what you do, remember that long-lasting relationships come from creating a safe space where everyone can feel comfortable expressing themselves and connecting with others. So keep the three S’s in mind as you work towards building a thriving faith community!

How to Fail and Still Win

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 17, 2023

All great accomplishments have one thing in common: failure. Discouraging, heartbreaking failure. Whether we’re talking about the amazing stories in the Book of Acts, the Wesleyan Revival of the 1700s, or the success of a regional megachurch, each one of these “successes” involved failures. Peter and Paul were embroiled in conflict in the book of Acts. John Wesley failed miserably in his work with the Native Americans and lost at love in his own life. Leaders of megachurches have had moral failings. But without these seeming failures, there would also be no memorable accomplishment. So let’s talk about how to fail and still win.

We tend to think of success as being defined by our accomplishments or victories, but it’s the failures that provide us with the wisdom necessary to succeed. The lie we tell ourselves is that the great leaders and movements of the past had it all together, while we struggle and fail. But every leader, movement, and person will fail at some point. That’s simply part of our humanity.

Failure gets a bad name. But failure need not be the end of the story. It is a necessary step to help us learn and grow in our faith journey. The Bible is full of stories of both failure and redemption, from Adam to Abraham, and from Sarah to Hannah, as well as Peter and the disciples. We would hardly call these heroes and sheroes of the faith failures.

As Christian leaders, it’s essential for us to understand how to fail and still win. In order to fail and still win, it’s important to understand the two types of failure. Knowing the difference can help you stay focused, motivated, and successful.

Passive Failure

The first type of failing is passive failure. Passive failure involves not trying or simply settling for the status quo. Passive failure does nothing to advance your goals or propel the Kin(g)dom forward. Rather, it keeps you stuck in a place of complacency where your potential isn’t explored or realized. It’s easy to fall into this type of passive failure because it requires no effort. But if left unchecked, passive failure can lead to stagnation and disappointment in your life and ministry.

We can all point to this kind of failure. We often use phrases to explain it, like, “They are just moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.” We know it when we see it. Worship is lackluster. Your mission projects are repetitive. You sense a congregation-wide feeling of apathy. You manage what you have without risking innovation or breaking new ground. If you are still doing what you did three or four years ago, you may be slipping into passive failure.

The effects of passive failure can be seen in churches: years of declining attendance, no new professions of faith, and a diminishing pool of volunteers. When the only course correction offered is trying harder at doing more of the same, that is a sign of passive failure.

It’s not easy to admit, but I’ve seen this type of passive failure in myself. When I hoped that things would change for the better but took no action to try something new. It’s a painful spot to be in.

Active Failure

The second type of failure is active failure. What sets active failure apart from passive failure is that rather than hoping things will get better if we simply try harder at doing what we’ve always done, we actively take risks. We give it everything we have—our total energy, focus, and commitment. Even so, we still miss the mark.

Yes, it’s still a failure. But this type of active failure brings hope by creating momentum. Even though the result might not have been what we intended, it’s still a win. By giving our best effort towards something meaningful, we will have created some new openings. Perhaps we operated from vision rather than fear. Or collaborated with new community partners. Or raised new funds and involved new people. Active failure is a win because it empowers those around us.

Active failure creates another kind of win: learning from your mistakes. The great thing about trying and failing is that you can figure out how to do things better next time. The same principle applies to us as Christian leaders. We may not consistently achieve our goals immediately or as expected, but failure often gives us the insights and wisdom to succeed.

Every great movie ever made, from Ben Hur to Star Wars to Mulan, includes a story arc of triumph over adversity. The hero fails multiple times before achieving the goal. In these stories, it is failure that helps shape and strengthen the protagonist’s character. This is true not only in the movies but also among the disciples, the early church, and even your church.

How to Get the Most from Your Failures

By understanding that there are two types of failure—passive failure and active failure—you can better prepare yourself for success as a Christian leader by embracing the art of active failing. If you fail but learn something new along the way, that’s a win! If you fail, but create openings for new action, that’s a win, too. So go forth boldly—trusting God—knowing that even if you fail this time, next time may be a huge success. After all, nothing ventured – nothing gained.

It was my failures, not my successes, in local church ministry that prompted me to develop Creating a Culture of Renewal®. I wanted to know how to create a lasting culture shift that moved the church from maintenance to mission, from inward focus to outward focus, and from discipleship to apostleship. This powerful program equips you with all the ingredients necessary to shift the culture of your congregation, no matter the size, denomination, or location. Email Ann at an*@***************er.com if you’d like to come to an Introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal.

5 Ways to Create a Spiritual Epiphany

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 3, 2023

Epiphany is the ancient Christian observance of the visit of the Magi, otherwise known as the Wise Men, to Jesus in Bethlehem. Epiphany, from the Greek meaning appearance or manifestation, marks the manifestation of Jesus Christ to the world. Epiphany has another meaning: sudden insight or awakening. For many Christians, Epiphany is associated with spiritual growth and discovering our true identity in God. In anticipation of that sacred event, I’m excited to share five ways to create a spiritual epiphany. While none of us can guarantee the date or time of a spiritual awakening, these five practices will ready and prepare you for that time.

#1 Be Open-Minded

An open mind is essential when it comes to having a spiritual epiphany. Allow yourself to explore new ideas without prejudice or preconceived notions. Accept that the world of the spirit is real and active in all aspects of life. This may seem like a no-brainer, but the truth is that many of us are closed to the idea of a spiritual experience with God. We are more accustomed to relying on our intellect and experience to direct us instead of trusting that God can speak to us, guide us, or prompt us on a moment by moment basis.

In what ways can you open up your mind to the possibility of a spiritual epiphany? What are some of the preconceived notions you may need to let go of to be open to a spiritual experience?

Try this as an Epiphany Affirmation: Today, I let go of what I think I know, and embrace the surprising power of a willing spirit toward God.

#2 Ask Honest Questions

Honesty is key to creating a spiritual epiphany. Ask yourself honest questions about your beliefs and values and be willing to accept whatever answers come up without judgment or fear. This can be difficult since we are used to hiding behind the masks of what we think we should be. However, honestly, is essential for engaging in true self-reflection. Also, be honest about what’s working and what’s not working in your life.

This new level of honesty will help you clarify where you’re at so that you can move forward in your journey toward spiritual growth and transformation.

Epiphany Affirmation: If I’m honest with God, real change can happen!

#3 Name Your Intention

Give yourself permission to experience more of the divine presence in your life, and trust that this will lead you towards greater understanding and transformation. Name your intention to create a spiritual epiphany and be willing to surrender to the process. This is not about a “Name it and claim it” theology but rather about clearly naming our intent that God is moving in our lives. So often in our faith, we don’t expect much. When we engage God, we get precisely what we expect: nothing. Naming your intention to have an epiphany is a way of inviting the manifestation of Jesus into your life in a new and powerful way.

Epiphany Affirmation: Today I declare God is working within my life and wants me to know this!

#4 Take Time for Reflection

Taking time for reflection is essential to creating a spiritual epiphany. It allows us to step back from our daily lives and take stock of our current situation, thoughts, and feelings. Use this time for self-reflection to evaluate what’s working, what isn’t, and what changes need to be made to move forward in your life with greater clarity and understanding. In our busy lives, we stay so distracted that we cannot hear the voice of God in our lives. Taking quiet time can empty enough space to allow us to hear God and discover what God is calling us to in this season of life.

Epiphany Affirmation: In silence, I hear God and glimpse my true identity!

#5 Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude helps us stay connected with our inner divinity by recognizing the abundance around us daily. Expressing gratitude helps us appreciate what we have, which leads us towards greater joy and contentment in life overall. We also need to say thanks for God’s divine presence in our lives.

God’s presence is not just limited to the incarnation of Jesus; it is daily reality in our lives as we realize that God resides within each of us. We are the temples of the Holy Spirit, light bearers made in God’s image. The same Spirit in Christ Jesus lives in us. Take time to let this in, and to thank God for being a living presence within you. It’s a joy to recognize all the ways God is blessing your life and revealing your inner divinity.

Epiphany Affirmation: I am grateful for every moment I have to be in the presence of God!

The Power of a Spiritual Epiphany

A spiritual epiphany requires open-mindedness (that the world of the Spirit is real and active), honesty (with self and God), and willingness (to experience more of the divine presence in your life.) Reflection and gratitude activate the awareness of your inner divinity.

The power of being present to God can lead anyone down their unique path towards spiritual growth and transformation! As church leaders, it’s imperative for us to cultivate these practices within ourselves so that we may better guide others on their journey with God.

Let’s remember that Epiphany isn’t just a Jesus thing. Each one of us reveals God to the world in our own way! We are all light bearers made in the image and likeness of God. I hope you can try these practices. I predict you’ll find a deeper connection with God.

To continue on this path, check out Creating a Culture of Renewal®, where our premise is that renewal begins within.

What I Have Learned from Yom Kippur about Reconciliation

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Oct 5, 2022

Today is the holiest day in the Jewish calendar: Yom Kippur, or the Day of Atonement. What makes this day so holy? It’s the day on which Jewish tradition teaches that a person’s fate for the coming year is sealed. The great hope is that for the coming year, one’s name will be inscribed in the Book of Life. Whether Jews take this teaching literally or not, (just like in Christian tradition, there is wide range of theologies in Judaism) the day offers beautiful opportunities for reconciliation. In this article, I’d like to share five things I have learned from Yom Kippur about reconciliation. And how those insights are vital for leaders everywhere.

Growing up Jewish, my family observed Yom Kippur, along with Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year, which comes 10 days before Yom Kippur.) We dipped apples in honey with wishes for a sweet new year on Rosh Hashanah, and then ten days later fasted on Yom Kippur. For the first thirty years of my life—before I had a profound Jesus experience which shifted my religious path—these important traditions shaped my understanding of how to be in right relationship with God and others.

Yom Kippur is the day of atonement. But there is a whole process that leads up to it.

Reconciliation is a process. Getting out of sync with another—whether with God or a friend or beloved—doesn’t happen all at once. More likely, it’s the result of a series of missteps. Neglect, unforgiveness, imputing bad motives to another, harboring resentment are some of the steps that lead to being estranged from the one you love. In the same way, reconciliation is a process, too.

Jewish tradition allows time for the process to unfold. The entire Hebrew month of Elul which precedes both Rosh Hashana, the New Year, and Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement, is dedicated to reflection and preparation for reconciliation.

Leaders are wise to note if they are losing touch with those they love and lead. Take time to reflect on how you got out of sync with those in your care. Note your part in it. Prepare yourself to approach reconciliation. Quick apologies are not as effective as first changing your behavior. Both are important for reconciliation to be real.

Reconciliation takes focus. Yom Kippur is a fast day. By abstaining from food, daily activities, and other pleasures for an entire 24 hours, you can keep your attention on the task at hand. There are five prayer services during a traditional Yom Kippur observance. These instruct you in the importance of repentance, engage you in conversation with God, and bring to mind the ways you may have sinned, or missed the mark, in your relationships.

Leaders are wise to set aside dedicated time to reflect on their own leadership behaviors to see which are effective, and which are self-sabotaging. You’ll know the difference when you look at which draw people together, and which splinter them. Every leader needs to grow in this self-awareness. But without time to reflect on your own leadership, these negative behaviors erode respect and unity. Left unchecked, ultimately, these self-sabotaging behaviors will impact the mission and vision.

Reconciliation requires courage and humility. Judaism teaches that before you go to God in repentance, you must go to the people around you and get right with them first. In the end, our relationship with God is reflective of all the goodwill, or lack thereof, in our relationships with others. Reconciliation with God begins with seeking forgiveness from others.

Jesus lived out his Judaism by teaching this same process in the Gospel of Matthew 5:23-24: “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

Leaders, if you want your people to be reconciled toward others, let them witness you seeking reconciliation first. Leading with humility and courage goes a long way toward demonstrating the kind of reconciliation we can have with God. True reconciliation takes sacrifice, humility, and courage. You never know how the other person is going to respond. Even if they don’t respond well, it’s worth the effort. You will feel cleaner and clearer.

God is always willing to reconcile. The prayers of Yom Kippur make that clear. Whenever we approach God with honesty and truth, God is more than willing to meet us.

Leaders, be available, humble, and open-hearted. That doesn’t mean being a doormat. You will need to set appropriate boundaries for your organization to function well and thrive. However, heart to heart forgiveness shifts the atmosphere in which your congregation or community operates.

Don’t forget to celebrate reconciliation. Just as the fast ends with a feast, so it’s important to celebrate relationships restored and reconciled! Relax knowing that you have taken important steps in maintaining a strong relationship.

Leaders, don’t forget the important step of celebration. Jesus shared many a parable about celebrating reconciliation. Remember, that just as you may have felt regretful about relationships that had gone awry, allow yourself to celebrate relationships set right. That spirit of joy will permeate your own heart, your relationship, and then filter out into your organization.

These five insights from Yom Kippur can bolster you all year long. Especially in this time and season, let them strengthen your leadership. As Jews say to one another on this day, “May you have an easy fast. And may you be inscribed into the Book of Life.”

The God Whisperer

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Sep 13, 2022

Of all the roles a pastor plays—teacher, preacher, prophet, counselor, visionary, fundraiser, custodian, PR person, administrator, cheerleader, event planner—my favorite is God Whisperer.

You might remember the Horse Whisperer movie. An unusual horse trainer, played by Robert Redford, was gifted at calming a spooked and traumatized horse. He gently got inside the animal’s head and heart and helped it become whole again. Since then, we’ve been introduced to dog whisperers, ghost whisperers, and even whisperers of the walking dead. None of that is as exciting as being a God Whisperer, though.

As God Whisperers, our role is a bit different. We are called to develop sensitivity to the way God works and communicate that to others. I don’t want to sound arrogant here—like pastors are the only ones who can or do. That’s not the case at all. But since we are called to function that way, we might as well be ready!

I don’t know if it’s my Jewish background that lends itself so nicely to God wrestling and trying to interpret what God is up to. Or if it’s my (nominal) background in the martial arts. But I remember thinking as a pastor, “I can’t believe I get paid to work on my relationship with God! Does it get any better than that?” God wrestling and God whispering have always been my passions.

At the heart of God Whispering is a strong and vital connection to one’s own spirit and spirituality. We can’t teach what we don’t know. We can’t lead others where we haven’t gone. We can’t whisper what we haven’t heard.

But sometimes we get so busy working for God that we neglect paying attention to God. That doesn’t cut it for God Whisperers. As Chief Congregational God Whisperers, it’s our responsibility to stay as tuned in to our own souls as possible. Like any relationship, the one we have with God needs time, attention, an openness to intimacy, and surprise. We must be willing to let go of control, say we don’t know, and let the other take the lead. Only after that can we help others develop their own connection with God.

Our people can tell when we’re out of touch with the Divine. Worship is uninspired, dry. Church life is same old-same old. Preaching and teaching covers well-trod ground. Even administration can get wonky. If we’re going through the motions, guess who else will be?

When we are in sync with the movement of God, though, we give off a different vibe. We find courage to be grounded in chaotic times. We have the humility to be both pastoral and prophetic. We have the confidence to question, and to lead in new directions. We are able to distinguish the voice of God from competing voices.

Let these 3 questions help you deepen your own quest.

What is something new you’ve learned about God?
What is something new you have learned about yourself in relationship to God?
What can you share authentically about #1 and #2 with your people?

You might think these are impertinent questions. But if God is infinite and we, in our physical bodies, are finite, then there is always something new to learn about God. Not only that, the deeper we go in our walk with God, the more we listen for the whispers of God, the more we learn about ourselves. Our people too are eager to learn something new. Yes, they want to be loved, accepted, understood, and appreciated as they are. But I think they want more than that. Being authentic with your people keeps you humble, keeps them interested, and fine tunes the ability to whisper God’s message to others.

What’s God whispering to you these days? I’d love to hear about it. So would your people. Do tell!

Originally posted March 2017.

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