Your First Sunday Back

Your First Sunday Back

by | Jun 1, 2020

“What should we focus on during our first Sunday back in the building?” someone recently asked me. “Celebration,” I said, without thinking. “Celebrate who you have become through this pandemic.  A crisis of this proportion has expanded your capacity.  Own it. Celebrate what you accomplished together. Even if, and especially if, you have sustained losses. Don’t let their passing be without meaning.”

The scriptures lay out a history of celebration in the midst of national trauma. The Passover celebration took place in the wake of a dozen plagues. Both Moses and Miriam led the Israelites in song and dance after crossing the Red Sea. Even the song was sung at contemporary Passover Seders, Dayenu (translated “it would have been enough”), is a litany of God’s faithfulness in light of an unspeakable tragedy.

In this article, I am going to share the three steps to celebrate your first Sunday back even as COVID-19 continues to spread. Just as importantly, I’m going to share a bonus step with you about how to not waste a good crisis.

Celebrate Your First Sunday Back

On your first Sunday back, a celebration is highly appropriate.  But when you celebrate, make sure that you don’t focus on God’s faithfulness to the exclusion of your own. God’s faithfulness means nothing if you don’t join in the dance with God. Likewise, your readiness means nothing if you have missed God’s cues. Celebrate your wins as a mutual partnership with the Divine.

Remember the Journey

As you prepare to celebrate, first, highlight the events and turning points that led you to this moment. For instance, when and how did you make the decision to go online?  When and how did you throw caution to the wind (figuratively speaking, of course) so that you could quickly organize for worship outside the building?  When and how did you decide the way you would make online giving available?  Online pastoral care?  Online missions? How did you reach out to your community?  What ministries have continued unabated?  Who has been involved in these decisions and ministries?

Gather these memories as stones on a journey, markers of the terrain you have traveled. But don’t stop there. Reflect, too, on the spiritual lessons the pandemic has taught you.  Think about the funerals, memorial services, and weddings you may have performed. What did you learn about the value of community? The value of presence? Gather these memories to share as well.

Finally, consider those who have served your congregation and community with kindness, skill, and passion. Be sure to lift them up in prayer, celebrating their integrity and sacrifice.

Choose Your Words with Intention for Your First Sunday Back

Second, as you select which memories to share, be intentional about word choice. You are crafting a narrative that will live on in the minds and hearts of the people. How you frame your communal story sets the stage for what comes next. Instead of getting caught in the post-pandemic blues, set the stage for your next vision and the next stage of growth.

Three steps to celebrate your 1st Sunday back at church. Read more here: Share on X

Growth and Gaps

Not everything you recall will be cause for celebration. Doubtless, you goofed up on some things.  You mishandled a challenging situation or relationship. Probably you let some things slip through the cracks. So, third, find ways to acknowledge the gaps as well as the growth. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Both the gaps and the growth can lead to your deepened skill as a leader, and your deepened faith as a congregation.

How to Create a Culture Shift

How to Create a Culture Shift

by | Nov 12, 2019

At Shepherd of the Hills Church, it’s been a long time since the cries of children interrupted worship. That’s okay with this aging congregation. Although they miss younger people, they appreciate less commotion. If only they could get some responsible families, they’re sure things would look up. They want the pastor to recruit them. But he’s gotten busy lately, bogged down in church meetings that seem to go nowhere. This congregation has tried to start a “Bring a Friend to Worship” Sunday. But newcomers get scared off by the appeals to give, and the red ink in the bulletin. Meanwhile the pews thin out, and a steady stream of funerals keep the pastor hopping. Worship used to include several unknown faces. Not anymore, but at least now everyone knows each other. Lots of time to pray for each other, and to keep the love flowing.

On the surface, this church sounds pretty normal. But dig down a bit and you’ll find a church with no dream other than to survive. How does a church like this create a shift in its culture?

First, let’s take a look at what happens in churches like this.  They develop a bevy of problems like the following eight:

  • shrinking numbers
  • problem people
  • stagnant giving
  • listless worship
  • gutless prayer
  • bait and switch evangelism
  • insulated focus
  • dead-end decision-making

In my work with congregations through Creating a Culture of Renewal, I have noticed that these eight distinct problems are reliable indicators of a church operating without a vision. I believe there is a strong connection between the two.

Vision is key to creating a shift in the culture.  The vision has to be bigger than a church improvement plan, though.  Otherwise, you are back to square one.  You’ll be managing decline rather than creating a sustainable shift in culture.  That requires the courage to Dream like Jesus®.

Here are the four steps a congregation must DARE to undertake:

  1. Dare to have a God-sized DREAM. Jesus dreamed that earth would be a reflection of heaven.
  2. Dare to ALIGN others to the dream. Start with the people around you.  Jesus did. The fishermen, tax collectors, and other people he got on board didn’t have special credentials.  They did however, believe in his big dream.
  3. Dare to REALIZE the dream. Bringing the dream to fruition takes courage. You’ll encounter some road blocks and obstacles, yes.  And, you’ll also encounter people ready to get on board with an energizing dream that makes a true difference.  Jesus and his friends made a huge impact through their healings, feedings, proclamations, and conversations.
  4. Dare to EXPAND out into your community. Your community is eager for you to engage them with love, courage, and creativity.  They long for the Kingdom, even if they don’t put that in words.

The time to dream like Jesus is now.  In my experience, the longer you wait to address the eight dynamics of decline, the more embedded they’ll become and the harder they’ll be to dislodge. Culture shift will be almost impossible.  On the other hand, the sooner you engage a God-size dream, the more hope there is for you and your community! Ready to learn how? Register for the online workshop DARE to Dream Like Jesus® now.

The above blog is excerpted and adapted from Dream Like Jesus:  Deepen Your Faith and Bring the Impossible to Life, © 2019, Rebekah Simon-Peter.

Beyond Thoughts and Prayers

by | Sep 7, 2019

A flurry of well wishes were unleashed across the United States in the wake of the Dayton and El Paso shootings ten days ago. These well-meaning expressions of sympathy were tweeted, emailed, texted, written, preached, and whispered:  You are in our thoughts and prayers. 

 

While words of comfort are always appropriate, in and of themselves, they are increasingly inadequate as a ministry response.  Maybe thoughts and prayers were an adequate response after Columbine.  But here we are 20 years later.  What was an isolated incident of horror has become a public health crisis.  So much so that in 2019 there have been more mass shootings than days in the year.  According to Gun Violence Archives, a mass shooting is defined as four or more people killed, not including the shooter.

 

As a nation we seem to be stuck and paralyzed, unwilling or unable to prevent further mayhem.  Is there anything the church can do when the government can’t or won’t?  Absolutely. As vessels of divine love, who carry light into the world, you are empowered to co-create new realities with God.

 

How does this spiritual reality translate into visible action? It involves shifting your focus from comfort ministries to challenge ministries. 

 

Jesus engaged in both kinds of ministries.  He not only healed others who suffered the crippling effects of sin and powerlessness, he created a new kind of community in which those distresses couldn’t take root. Because you are made in the image and likeness of God, you can do the same.

 

Let’s take a look how.

 

Up until this point, comfort ministries have been primarily employed in the case of mass shootings.  Thoughts, prayers, impromptu memorial sites, community services, and counseling for the bereaved have pulled together traumatized communities. But they haven’t bound up the brokenhearted families or brought the dead back to life.  Nor have they put a halt to public shootings at the movies, food festivals, concerts, yoga classes, and stores.  They haven’t stopped a gunman from killing people in church, synagogue, school, or at home. Because they haven’t dealt with the why or the how of the violence.

 

Challenge ministries get at root causes.  What are some of the root causes of these shootings?  One common denominator is domestic violence. Investigations are beginning to reveal that many of these gunmen have a history of domestic violence.  This is compounded by the ready availability of military-grade weapons, coupled with an inadequate system of background checks, and spurred on by a darknet of hate-promoting sites. It all brews in a culture of toxic masculinity and fear of loss of power as the US and world population grows increasingly multicultural.  This fear of the “other” includes a fear of black and brown-skinned people, Jews, Muslims, Christians, Amish, gays, Mexicans, immigrants, and women.  It’s made all the more heinous by a lockdown on treating this as a public health crisis. 

 

What can you do in the face of this?  Keep reading to discover five ways. But first, let me invite you to join me for a free one-hour webinar to discuss how to respond to mass shootings, Beyond Thoughts and Prayers: Responding to the Unthinkable.  Email us to register and receive a link.

 

Back to the five steps.  But first, before I tell you what they are, be aware that they will require all the courage the Christian life has to offer.

 

  1. Remember who you are. You are made in the image and likeness of God.  As a follower of Jesus Christ, you bring love and light into the world.  As a partner with the Holy Spirit, you co-create miracles through willingness and faith.

 

  1. From this space, forgive the shooters, the factors that led to their violent deeds, and the paralysis of the nation. If you can’t do that, imagine God’s unconditional love and Jesus’ forgiveness for them even in the midst of the evil. If you can’t do that, at least ask God to help you set those feelings aside temporarily.  Why?  If you meet their anger, hostility, loathing and fear with your own, then the atmosphere of us v. them has simply increased. Love and light cannot win in that environment.  And love and light must win.

 

  1. Next, lift up your thoughts and prayers in a brand-new way. Turn your thoughts to the covenant you have made with the community of faith: “To accept the freedom and power God gives you to resist evil, injustice and oppression.”  Pray on those words.  Gently turn aside the thoughts that say you can’t make a difference.  Go back to praying. Couple that with reading Matthew 17:20 and John 14:13.

 

  1. After this, redirect your attention from the trauma at hand to an expansive vision of the Kingdom. What would a community look in which the thought of shooting others wouldn’t even occur for people? In which a violent fear of the other couldn’t take root? Envisioning this will take holy imagination, creative conversation, and much prompting of the Holy Spirit.  Allow the Spirit to take you there.

 

  1. Ask God what action or actions you can take toward that vision. Be aware that this will require more than one person or a few people to accomplish.  And likely more courage than you currently have.  Be brave.  Be faithful. Trust that God trusts you to do this.

 

Do share this process with others.  Invite them to forgive, to re-direct their thoughts and prayers toward the freedom they have to act, to envision the Kingdom, and to choose an action.  

Loving the Church to Death

by | Apr 11, 2019

My colleague, Martha Taylor, recently reported a conversation with a parishioner in which said parishioner gushed, “Oh, I just love my church to death!”  Martha noted that she had a tight grip on the reins and leadership of the church and thought, “Yes, sadly, you probably do.”
Wooden Background With Olive Heart And White Cross For An Obitua
In a time when different factions are fighting over the future of the church, it’s important to consider how not to love the church to death.
These days biblical interpretation, the unique claims of Christianity, worship on Sunday mornings and even church itself are up for grabs.
What’s a church leader to do? How do you achieve peace in your congregation?   Is it even possible?One of the biggest spiritual challenges for people of every age and generation is learning how to let go. Share on X
Letting go of power, control, possessions, preferences and life itself is tough stuff.  Yet, this is the call of faith and of spiritual maturity.  It is also the pathway to harmonious relationships.
How might this work?  For now, I’m going to skip over the obvious disagreement before United Methodists—norms of human sexuality and of biblical interpretation—in favor of something less charged: worship style.  When traditionally-minded worshipers are able to let go of the exclusive use of organ music played at a stately pace, in order to accommodate the addition of a band’s lively music or meditative Taizé chant, this move not only includes more worshiping preferences, it also enriches the spiritual life of the whole community.
The key word is exclusive.  It’s not that the organ can’t be incorporated into multi-generational worship.  It’s just that insisting on it can suffocate other options.  And ultimately the life of the church.
If we are to make way for new generations, new expressions of faith, and new leaders, we have to practice surrender. Share on X
The current rate of change is more rapid than any previous generation has ever experienced. That means Postmoderns, Millennials, and Digitals are far more fluid and adaptable than Baby Boomers, Pioneers or GIs.  Futurist Ray Kurzweil noted, “We won’t experience 100 years of progress in the 21st century—it will be more like 20,000 years of progress (at today’s rate).”
So while the church is deciding if it’s okay to sing songs out of the new hymnal, use projection screens, or incorporate new musical instruments, the Confirmation Class of 2019 is learning how to navigate more change in a few months than we have previously encountered in our lifetimes! They don’t understand the church’s collective reluctance to embrace change. For them, change is a matter of course.
Before you love your church to death, ask yourself these questions:  What do I need to let go of to be faithful to younger generations?  To older generations?  A house divided against itself cannot stand.

How to Exercise Love in the Midst of Angst

by | Feb 7, 2017

In grade school, I was part of a brief study on the meaning of love.  My third grade class was interviewed, a few at a time, on the meaning of love.  I thought I knew what it was until I tried to articulate an answer.  “It’s when you like someone very much.”  Even as I said it, I felt flustered, unsure.  Somehow I knew those words came up short.  But I also knew that I didn’t really know what love was.

As Christians, we are committed to love.  It’s our watchword.  It’s our definition of God.  Our highest human ideal.  Yet, in church, the practice of love often falls short.  As leaders, we draw the circle of concern close enough so that our sermons, prayers and conversations don’t stray into areas that might evoke feelings other than compassion and care.

But what good is love if we aren’t called to exercise it?

Sure, we’re good at praying for the old and ill.  We intentionally feed the hungry in our communities.  We respond with killer generosity to victims of natural disaster. Those are all important.

But what about when love stretches us into terrain where disagreement crops up?  Where we feel afraid or unsafe?  How do we exercise love then?
I encountered it everywhere this week.  One leader I coach came away deeply unsettled from a meeting with a denominational board that tried to anticipate future rulings on leadership and human sexuality.  Later that week, I attended a small, local prayer vigil for immigrants, refugees and Muslims.  It was for the community, but was overwhelmingly attended by clergy from a variety of denominations.  Still later, I attended a gathering of citizens who aimed to transcend fear and exclusion by actively engaging the democratic process.  My takeaway from all this? As leaders, we care deeply about the issues before us, but we’re not always sure how to engage or empower those we lead.

I get it.  These are not easy topics.  But they are important.  Especially for us Christian leaders.  They rightly engage our deepest values, and our deepest fears.

Paul wrote that God has given us not a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control.  With that spirit, Jesus counsels us to “Love those who hate you and do good to those who persecute you.” This isn’t the kind of love I was familiar with as a grade-schooler.  It still takes more heart muscle than I can easily muster.

I’m not alone.  We live in a time of increasing angst.  Tempers are short.  Insecurity is high.  Outrage is the new norm.  It seems like anything can happen.
Friends, this is our time!  It’s our time to demonstrate courageous love.  In order for us to love in the midst of angst, we need practice. This won’t be easy.  But it’s definitely do-able.  Here are specific ways to develop our capacity to love.

Love of God

  1. Begin by creating time in worship for people to directly experience and receive the love of God.   Invite folks to sit quietly in worship for a few minutes of guided or silent meditation.  Follow it up with a ritual of candle-lighting or reaffirmation of baptism.  Enhance the power of this experience by reminding folks that God’s love is not dependent on their good behavior, self-evaluation, being perfect or any other quality.  They don’t even need to be loveable. They are loved simply because they are creations of God, made in the divine image.  Jesus’ own love of us reaffirms this.
  1. Next, lead people in expressing their love and appreciation back to God.  Giving thanks for the smallest blessings to the largest ones increases one’s spiritual and emotional resilience.  Every week invite people to share 3 things they’re grateful for with a person sitting close by.  Or invite people to write a gratitude list that can be added to the offering plate. This expands our connections, raises the vibration of worship, and heightens our appreciation of life.

Love of Self

  1. Doom, gloom, and critical self-talk is the default position of our brains.  This makes its way to our hearts and gets expressed in our behavior. Being hard on ourselves ultimately means we are hard on others.  Help your people practice affirming themselves.  This is not selfish or self-centered.  This is sanity.  It leads to calmer people who have an overflow of love to share with others.

Love of Enemies and Persecutors

  1. Having cultivated emotional resilience and a reservoir of love, guide your people in sending intentional love to those around them.  This works for people near and far.  They don’t have to like them, agree with them, or approve of them.  They don’t need to be loveable by them.  But offering love to others in prayer—enemies and persecutors included—shifts the heart and embodies Christ.  It makes new conversations possible.
  1. Guide your people in how to speak from love when interacting with enemies and persecutors. Reacting from fear, hate, outrage, vitriol, or fear only sets up a chain reaction.  Encourage them to refuse to demonize others.  Counsel them to look for the best in other people, and grant them the dignity due fellow human beings.

From this place of intentional love, lead your people to take actions on behalf of those the world does not love.  Grounded in love, you will be able to keep your cool in the midst of angst.

More than anything, love invites us to step into the gap between fear and faith.  Continue to cast a Kingdom vision of the Beloved Community, of the reign and realm of God.  Don’t abandon it because it might be uncomfortable, inconvenient, or controversial.  Instead, lift it up because deep down it’s what we all yearn for.  In the end, it’s all we have to offer.

Should Churches Discuss Politics?

by | Jan 23, 2017

It’s on everyone’s minds. It’s all over the news. Millions of women took to the streets to make their voices heard. Should churches join in the political talk or not?

I say yes. The Bible is intensely political. Every prophet risks their skin by talking truth to power. Every king weighs obedience to God against other concerns. Every temple, shrine, and altar has political ramifications.   The same with every war, skirmish, and battle. Even the Sermon on the Mount is political. Love your enemies? Do good to those who hate you? Who do you think Jesus is talking about? Religion and politics have always been deeply intertwined. Jesus’ own life is an example of that.

This co-mingling didn’t end with the biblical era. The church, at its best, and its worst, has always been political. We’re at our worst when we imagine Christ is aligned with one political party or another. Or when we cut deals. Or when we trade faith for power. We’re at our best, however, when like MLK, we strive for the soul of the whole nation.

How to talk politics though, without causing further pain and discontent?   Here are some suggestions to get you started.
1. Start with ground rules that insure careful listening and mutual respect.
2. Don’t assume they voted for their candidate for the exact reason you didn’t. In other words, don’t assume the worst in them and the best in yourself.
3. Plan to listen deeply for the personal stories behind the political passion.
4. Assume they’re not 100% wrong and you are not 100% right.
5. Assume God loves you all.

Once these are in place, look for biblical principles that you agree on. Look for how the biblical principles might get played out in a particular policy.  Ask, What are the ethical ramifications of such policies? When we discuss things at this level, we are talking politics in a way that edifies and builds us up, rather than divides and tears us down.

To get beyond knee-jerk reactions means listening deeply. To the Bible, to the Spirit, to one another, to journalists, and to the politicians who present these options.

This is far from easy. It requires us to be well-schooled in both our faith and in the issues at hand. It means digging into the Bible, our personal beliefs, and the guiding principles behind legislation and policy. You gotta to listen to more than sound bites to do that.

It’s worthwhile though. I believe engaging in these kinds of conversations keeps the church honest. It helps us determine if we are living out the love we profess.  It helps us be clear if we are living out our baptismal vows of using our God-given power to resist evil, injustice and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves. It helps us get straight on if we are furthering the Kingdom.

In the midst of our discussions, let’s not forget to pray. For ourselves.  For our country.  For one another. And for our leaders.  President Trump needs our prayers, and our love.  Really.  At the same time, he needs our accountability and engagement. His success, and our success as a country—whether you voted for him or not—depend on that. We can only hold him and other leaders accountable, appropriately, if we are spiritually grounded, well-informed, and speaking from love.

Want to get in on the whole discussion?  Click here to check out this recent conversation with Discipleship Ministries’ Scott Hughes and I.