by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jun 7, 2016
“We’re always on to the next thing,” one pastor friend confided to me. “At least that’s how the people in my Annual Conference see it. We’re ever on to the latest, greatest solution for church growth.”
“Do you ever pause and celebrate what you have accomplished?” I asked.
“No.”
That got me thinking. These initiatives may seem like passing fads which Annual Conferences mindlessly chase after. But I doubt that’s what’s actually happening. In my experience, denominational executives are working on several fronts at the same time. After all, different kinds of congregations and leaders need different kinds of approaches. Congregational renewal is not one size fits all. My work with emotional intelligence demonstrates that.
I have often wondered, though, if people would respond more favorably to the myriad processes their Annual Conferences offer, if only they were aware of how much had actually been accomplished with each one.
There’s no way of knowing what’s been accomplished if we don’t pause, communicate, and celebrate. That’s why I’m defending the oft neglected practice of resting on your laurels.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with savoring our successes. When the Romans borrowed the Greek idea of presenting a wreath of laurel leaves to victorious military commanders, there was no implication that “resting” on them was bad. That negative connotation didn’t come for another 10 centuries.
Getting back to my friend’s Annual Conference–I wonder how many new ministries they have launched since focusing on processes for renewal? Harder to measure but equally important—how many fights have been avoided, how many members and volunteers have been re-energized? How many callings to the ministry have been reclaimed?
We can’t know these things unless we make space for collecting and telling these stories. That means taking time to rest on our laurels. Not forever. Not even for a long time. But long enough to actually soak up and celebrate all that has been gained.
As the semi-frenetic pastor of an active congregation, I had habitually pushed on to the next thing. And the next. And the next. Driven by both the joy of accomplishment and the fear of boredom.
“Rev. Rebekah,” my active lay leader sheepishly confessed to me one day, “we’re tired. We need a rest. Can’t we just stop for a bit and see how far we have actually come?”
When Jesus went into the wilderness to pray, we have no idea what he prayed. But we do know this: he paused. Surely something good and life-giving happened during that time.
Year End Reports are a statistical attempt to pause and to reflect on what has been done. But we have to look beyond our own particular congregations to get the big picture. Sure, worship attendance or membership may be down in your setting. But other numbers may be trending upward. In one Annual Conference I work with, church attendance is down, but baptisms are up! Not bad. In another, average worship attendance itself is actually up.
There’s no way of knowing this stuff unless we, as a body, actually stop and reflect. Then take it one step farther: celebrate.
What could you celebrate in your Annual Conference? Look for what you are doing doing well, and then emphasize it. Perspectives shift when we focus on what is going well.
Recently, I listened to a panel of General Conference delegates report on what happened in Portland last month. I expected a reprisal of the tougher issues that emerged at GC including painful disagreements over how to address human sexuality. I was not disappointed.
What most captured my attention, though, was the report of a first-time laywoman delegate. “This was my first time at General Conference,” she smiled. “I didn’t even begin to think about it until about a week or two before I went. I arrived with an open mind.”
She went on to relate her delight about the milestones celebrated: the 250th anniversary of John Street Church in New York City, the 200th anniversary of Bishop Francis Asbury’s death, the 60th anniversary of full clergy rights for women, the 30th anniversary of Disciple Bible Study, the upcoming 25th anniversary of Africa University and 150th anniversary of the United Methodist Women. She was amazed at all the Church had accomplished in such a short period of time.
Now I’m the last person to whitewash history. Much of my work has been about empowering the church to embrace a truly Jewish Jesus, unlearn anti-Semitism, deal with what our Scriptures say about environmental stewardship, and creatively address the reality of church decline.
But still! What a breath of fresh air to listen to her celebrate our accomplishments. For a moment, we all rested on our laurels.
I wonder what would happen if we insisted on these breaths of fresh air more often? If we purposefully paused and savored our successes more than once every four years?
No, it wouldn’t resolve all our challenges or erase our differences. But it might just energize us to carry on creatively—conscious of the positive impact we are having on the world around us, and proud of the gains we are making.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | May 3, 2016
Long before Starbucks offered 80,000 different ways to order a beverage, Burger King urged us to “have it your way.” The primary product in a consumer culture is choice. And the primary question it invites consumers to ask is “What’s in it for me?” But is there any place for that sort of question in the church?
The Church prides itself on being a self-sacrificing body, modeled on Christ’s self-giving love. “What’s in it for me?” runs counter to everything we believe in. Or does it?
I’d like to suggest that there is a secret value in urging people to ask us that question. And a not- so-secret value in the church answering it. After all, Jesus did.
Jesus gave people a reason to follow him, answering the inherent question: What’s in it for me? He met people’s deepest needs through his hands on healing. When calling disciples, he said, “Follow me and I will make you fishers of men and women!” Notice he didn’t say, “Follow me so I can use you to take care of my business.” He put it in their language and answered from their perspective.
I was often unnerved, as a pastor, when someone wanted to do or be something that we didn’t already have a place for in the church. How could I fit them into our structure? How could I keep the church running? How could we get our needs met if they wouldn’t do what we needed? After all, we had trustees and church council to fill; we needed people to collect and count the offering; we needed Sunday school teachers; we had to find people to do missions, outreach and participate in Bible study. I started with what the church needed, not what they needed or wanted to give. I started with what’s in it for us, not what’s in it for them.
Turns out that’s not a recipe for longevity or sustainability. It’s not what engages most people. Yes, slots got filled, gifts were matched with needs, and the church functioned fairly well for years. But not everyone who came stayed. We were left with what we started with: structures to be filled.
But those structures aren’t necessarily designed to answer people’s deepest needs, fulfill their dreams, or empower them in the journey to be fully human.
Now I would want people to ask me, “What’s in it for me?” It’s an honest question that deserves an honest answer. The secret value in their posing the question is they might actually find their own unique reason for being part of the church. They might find their answer for being connected to Christ. The not so secret value in our answering it is we get to check if we are actually serving people or asking them to serve us. In other words, if we are there to help them fulfill their lives, or just our structures.
I sat sipping one of the 80,000 Starbucks beverage choices with my 40-something cousin, Brent, last week. “I don’t really attend church anymore,” he said. “It just doesn’t seem relevant to my life. I mean I believe in Jesus and all. But why keep rehearsing the same stories over and over? Does it really change anything? I’m left with the question, ‘So what?’”
There’s a person who never got to ask the what’s in it for me question. And a church that never got to answer it.
I’ve participated in Landmark Worldwide programs for almost a decade. It’s personal and professional development based in a coaching model that engages the question: What does it mean to be human? The organization is secular in nature. But they do an excellent job of prompting questions the church is likewise concerned with. When someone registers for a Landmark program they’re asked, “What would you like to get out of your participation in this course?” It’s a powerful question that helps people connect with their dearest concerns and their long-lost dreams.
What would it be like for us to ask that question of seekers and disciples? All too often we simply tell them what we the church are prepared to offer. Or what we think they should be looking for. Or perhaps we don’t even explain that. But when people can connect with what truly matters to them, and see a way to fulfill that through the church, then they will be eager partners in their own spiritual formation. They will be eager disciples of Jesus Christ. But we must be willing to have them ask us the “What’s in it for me?” question. And to wrestle honestly with the answers.
One hot and humid Philippine afternoon, I traveled on a bus with the marvelously eccentric and profoundly visionary Bob Hentzen. A former Catholic priest and co-founder of Unbound, an organization that matches over 300,000 children and elders with sponsors, Bob had the long view on the church. “We are great at making Catholics,” he said, straw cowboy hat akimbo, as he reflected on his mother church. “But how do we do at making human beings?”
That question has stayed with me. The United Methodist Church is great at making committee members, and even church members. And now we are working at truly making disciples. But how do we do at making human beings?
The more we can deal with people as they are, and not as we think they should be, the better we’ll be able to do at it. Today, people do ask the question, “What’s in it for me?” Not a bad question for us to wrestle with. It assumes they have personal agency as well as God-given dreams, hopes and questions. And it assumes we truly have something to offer.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Apr 14, 2016
I came of age in the 70s and was raised on the TV sitcoms of the era: All in the Family, The Jeffersons, Happy Days, and The Odd Couple. In fact, one episode from the many hours of TV that I watched comes from a classic Odd Couple show. Messy, fun-loving, unpredictable Oscar Madison teaches punctilious, uber clean roommate Felix Unger the negative impact of unstated assumptions. Without spoiling the punchline, let’s just say they cause everyone to feel asinine. Painful as the lesson is for Felix at the time, he later teaches the lesson to others. It’s a moment that lives on in TV history.
Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about the need to be clear on assumptions. Each presidential campaign is based on a certain set of assumptions. If you agree with the assumptions the candidate makes, then you are likely to agree with his or her vision of the future. If you don’t agree with their assumptions, their vision is unlikely to move you.
It seems obvious, doesn’t it? But the thing about assumptions is they often go unstated and unnoticed. We don’t even realize we have them, let alone what they are. They’re hidden from our view. That’s as true in the church as it in politics. I’d like to share one area of congregational life in which it’s critical to test your assumptions, and how to do it.
When I began a new small town church appointment, I took the advice of my coach and met with different groups of people in their homes. My purpose was to get to know them and let them get to know me. It was also to discover their hopes, dreams and memories of the church. All of that was insightful. But what made the biggest difference was a question I slipped in at the last moment. “Why do you come to church?”
Here’s what I found out:
- My friends are here.
- I grew up going to church and it helps me re-set my week.
- It’s a time to pause and catch up with myself.
- I like the hymns; they make me feel close to my grandmother.
- I’m trying to meet somebody special.
- I want my grandkids to learn about Jesus.
- I’m lonely—divorced/widowed/new to town—and I wanted to meet some nice people.
None of what they said surprised me. The surprise is what they didn’t say. Nobody said, “Because I want to give back to the community, get to know Jesus better, make the world a better place, or pray for a miracle in my family.” Nobody said, “I want to learn how to pray better, or know the Bible better or because God said so.” Mind you, these were all answers I had gotten at previous churches I had served. Glad I asked. If I hadn’t, I would have dragged us all into the Felix Unger trap of making untested assumptions. Everyone would have felt asinine, especially me. And the people would have had every right to be upset, disconnected, and disappointed. As it was, the knowledge I gained from that one unplanned question helped shape my preaching, the way I approached Bible study, and new ministries the church launched. Relationships were the key. Eventually, that knowledge even informed the church’s new mission statement: “Ordinary people doing extraordinary things with the love of Jesus Christ.” The congregation was able to live it out with gusto.
The truth is, you can consult big data about why people go to church. Or even read pieces about why they should go to church. But there’s no substitute for finding out why people actually show up at your church.
I’m not saying church needs to be built around whims. But it is important to talk with your constituency and find out what’s true for them. Even if you think you already know.
To make the most of this opportunity, be as open and as curious as you can be. Lay aside any defensiveness or judgments about what people have to say. Ask open ended questions that indicate you care about their answers. Then listen, take notes, and shut up. Let people talk.
It’s helpful to do this every few years in a more formal way, like at home gatherings. It’s also an incredibly helpful question to ask of guests, long-time leaders, and new members.
Don’t forget to flip the question around and ask people who have stopped coming to church: “Why have you stopped coming to church?” Be as open, patient, non-anxious, and caring with these folks as you are with the regular attenders. Don’t necessarily try to fix things. Just listen. You might be surprised at what people have to say.
I was surprised to discover that one single mom who attended worship pretty regularly had stayed away because her friend, a Sunday School teacher, was complaining to her about church business. While she liked the church, and enjoyed worship, this mom didn’t want to come to a church that seemed to be in turmoil. In actuality, her neighbor was just venting. But she didn’t know that. She thought the church was going down. We got that straightened out, and the next surprise was she came back to worship and got involved once again.
Got assumptions? Might as well be clear about them. Own them, test them, and be prepared to revise them. Otherwise, you’ll fall into the Felix Unger trap. And you know what Oscar and Felix would have to say: “When you assume, you make an a$$ out of you and me.”
The church deserves better than that.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Mar 14, 2016
Vows are pretty old school. Take marriage vows for instance. “Till death do us part” notwithstanding, these vows have a pretty short shelf life in 40-50% of first marriages and 60% of second marriages. That’s how many end in divorce each year.
Church vows have an even shorter shelf life than marriage vows. How many of you have seen people disappear after they join the church? I’ve seen it more times than I care to admit. They walk in the front door on a Sunday morning and walk out the back down when the service is over, never to return.
Is it that vows have gone out of style or is the wording we supply irrelevant? People still get married; they just don’t all stay married til they die. Likewise, people do still join churches, but they’re unlikely, for all kinds of reasons, to be lifetime members.
We live in a DIY world. From Home Depot to Hobby Lobby to printing your own photos at Walgreens—we expect people to do things for themselves. I even remember when gas stations used to pump your gas for you! What a shock when “servicemen” went away and we had to start pumping our own gas. But as it turns out, many people want to do it themselves. They like the individuality, the creativity, and the personal stamp they get to put on things. Why should church membership be any different? I think it’s time for the church to give people permission to write their own vows, and make their own commitments to the life of faith and to Jesus.
Just as people write their own wedding vows, I propose DIY membership vows. I know what you’re thinking. “That’s so individualistic. What happened to community? What about communal vows?” I know, but refer back to Home Depot, Hobby Lobby and Walgreens.
In the United Methodist Church, we focus on member-making, not disciple-making. Certainly not apostle-making. We ask would-be members to vow their loyalty to the UMC, and to fully participate in the life of the church through their prayers, presence, gifts, service, and as of 2008, their witness. (Why is it the lower our numbers go, the more we try to structure and legislate growth? An overemphasis on structure is one of the signs of a declining church. It means vision has long since faded away and all that remains is structure. Structure is no substitute for a compelling, life-changing, kingdom-oriented vision!)
So, here we are, asking people to take a vow to an institution when vows to a marriage—the most intimate relationship there is—prove fickle. Seems like we are barking up the wrong tree. As the spiritual but not religious have shown us, people are innately spiritual; they relate to spirituality. It’s religious institutions they don’t necessarily relate to.
Instead of asking people to be loyal to Jesus Christ through the United Methodist Church, what about removing the constraints and simply asking them to be loyal to Jesus Christ? And to their own spiritual journey? I think that’s a fairer reflection of the vision of the United Methodist Church anyway: to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world. Alignment is voluntary, inspired, and a gift. It can’t be forced.
That doesn’t mean we have to do away with an emphasis on spiritual growth through prayers, presence, gifts, service and witness. But it could be a starting point for vows, not an ending point. Let me offer the following free form vows as an example:
Prayers
- I commit to pray for myself, my friends and my enemies, and for the needs of the world, no matter how overwhelming they may be.
Presence
- I commit to remain present to my soul, and to the Maker of my Soul. I commit to remain present to Christians around the world, people of faith around the world, and the needs of my family, my community, and my church. I commit to become present to other people of faith along the way, and to support them along their journeys as well. I commit to be present to the still, small voice, and the everyday miracles of life.
Gifts
- I commit to understanding myself as abundantly gifted in this world: in faith, in curiosity, and in humanity. To understand that I have been endowed with gifts that make a difference. I commit to being generous with my finances, my faith, and my friendship to make a difference for the Kingdom of God.
Service
- I commit to giving myself away in service. As a follower of Jesus, I commit myself in service to the poor, the forgotten, the hurting, the hungry, the “other”. I seek the way of peace, without losing myself in people-pleasing. I seek the way of love, even when it calls for tough love. I seek the way of justice, without being vengeful.
Witness
- I commit to living a life worth emulating. To let my light shine and not hide it under a bushel basket. To live in such a way that others want to know God as well.
There are as many ways to write vows or commitments as there are people who make them. What an interesting new members class it would be if we really delved into what people are committed to, and how the church can help them live out their faith.
Once they’ve become members, or even as part of their journey toward membership, we can offer classes in the spiritual journey that focus on these 5 mileposts. Reggie McNeal, author of Missional Renaissance, says that missional churches shift from program development to people development. As we conceive of congregations that reach beyond the walls of the building, our classes need to reflect that.
Wayne Dyer, an American philosopher, was famous for saying that when we change the way we look at things, the way we look at things changes. If we have expectations that people actually resonate with, and give them support, structure, and language to live into those expectations, we honor people and their relationship with God.
Our current membership vows presume the following:
- People desire conformity rather than creativity.
- We have to tell them how to behave as disciples.
- They want to join up with what we’re already doing vs bringing their own ideas with them.
DIY membership vows presume a few different things:
- God is already at work in the lives of people who come our way.
- They have a calling that is independent of the church.
- They have an innate sense of spirituality.
- They want to contribute their own unique voices.
People want to have their fingerprints on things. As I have written elsewhere, they are much more likely to buy in if they have a chance to weigh in.
If you could write your own membership vows, what would they say?
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 27, 2016
As I stood in front of the congregation, ready to preach my first sermon, there was no doubt in my mind that this had been God’s idea, not mine. Four years earlier I had been a member of the he Orthodox Jewish community when Jesus appeared to me in a vision. He turned my ordered world upside down. I fought and resisted the call to Christian ministry. Later, I wrote a book about it: The Jew Named Jesus: Discover the Man and His Message, but at the time, leading a church was not on my radar screen.
Growing up, I had wanted to be a rabbi. But Jesus’s unexpected entry into my life changed things. Big time. I found myself in seminary where I felt God say to me, “I want you to lead my people.” I found myself trying to figure out what that looked like.
I landed at Scott United Methodist Church in Denver CO. This African American congregation was quite welcoming when I showed up at their door as a brand new follower of Jesus. One year later, the senior pastor asked me to step into a newly created Associate Pastor role which would begin when I finished my 9-month Advanced Field Education placement there.
I was psyched! Being present in a black church was the fulfillment of a heretofore unarticulated life-long dream for me. Even though I didn’t grow up in church, I was aware of black church culture. I had experienced bits and pieces of it primarily through movies and spirituals. I wasn’t disappointed when I began to worship and serve at Scott UMC. I was jazzed by the music, inspired by the prayer and wowed by the preaching. The faith of the people was dynamic. And the culture was very engaging.
Nevertheless, I met with some resistance from the congregation. Here I was a female in leadership in a congregational culture that expected and respected male clergy. Folks were also uncomfortable with my being non-African American, too. Not to mention the fact that the church had never had an associate pastor, female or male, African-American or otherwise. And let’s not forget that little fact of my being a Jewish Christian. As you can imagine, this change in leadership got quite a few conversations going. Not all of it in the open. Not all of it pleasant. Not all of it in favor of this new change. In fact, you could say there was conflict. But the senior pastor’s leadership made all the difference. It was the difference between a church that might split and a church that came together to enjoy fruitful years of ministry. He paved the way for female clergy to flourish there.
What did his leadership actually look like?
#1 He was bold. “You know,” he said when I stood up to join the church after 6 weeks of attending worship services there, “heaven is not going to be all black. We’ll all be there.” Some amens arose from the crowd as people nod ded agreement. “We might as well get started accepting each other right here and right now.” More nods. People accepted what he had to say, and welcomed me graciously that day. In that way, he paved a way for me to be part of the congregation.
#2 He put his reputation on the line. While people accepted me as a member of the congregation, and even as an advanced field education student, it was more difficult for some to accept my being the associate pastor. In fact, several people threatened to leave. The senior pastor told them he would leave too if I was not accepted. A risky move for sure. Thankfully, one that bore much fruit.
#3 He was open to the movement of the Spirit. When it was time for me to preach my first sermon, this senior pastor empowered me to design the service, include members of the congregation and try some things that had not been done before. Meanwhile, he sat in the congregation and gave his support through the power of his presence. He did not place the people’s comfort over God’s call. Neither did he abandon them to navigate the change alone.
#4 He partnered with others to bring about change. As visionary a pastor as this man was, he was not by nature a huge risk-taker. In fact, he tended toward the cautious side of things. He started small by welcoming other female field education students before me. He wasn’t driven by ego, but by call and conviction. Over time, other lay women and men got on board with his vision. Together, led by the Spirit, we were able to bring about a culture shift in that congregation. While it was already lively and inspired in worship, active and engaged in ministry, it hadn’t moved from primarily male leadership to balanced male and female leadership. He paved the way for much-needed diversity in the leadership of the church. My gender and Jewish background, along with a unique skill set, allowed me to bring innovative ministries to the congregation and community.
This experiment didn’t end with me. I’m happy to say Scot UMC now has a female senior pastor who has been eagerly accepted and supported. I too went on to serve as a co-pastor, then a senior pastor in other settings.
Bottom line, this visionary senior pastor crafted a vision for change and then backed it up with everything he had. I would not be where I am if it weren’t for him. Nor would the church. His model of leadership has continued to inspire me over the years.
How open is your setting for female leadership? Consider what sort of visionary leadership you can provide. Not sure how to do it? Consider joining a Fall Creating a Culture of Renewal group to quickly grow your leadership capacity.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Nov 23, 2015
The number one thing I hear church leaders around the country say is: We’d like to have more young people in worship. That’s a terrific aspiration. But don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Digitals (born around 1999 and onward) and Millennials (born around 1982-1998) will bring their own set of experiences, expectations, hopes, and dreams to church. Which may or may not match yours. How willing you are to accept them on their own terms is a sign of your true readiness.
Here’s a 10-point check list, with a bonus 11th point, to help you know if you are truly ready for young people. Or just wish you were.
You Know You’re Ready for Young People if…
- You have an online presence. In 1999, when I arrived at the Wyoming church I served, it was my job to pull them into the late 20th century just as we crossed over into the 21st century. That meant getting an answering machine, updating the copy machine, getting a working computer and setting up an email address. Eventually it included launching a website and installing screens and projectors. Today, getting the church up to speed means all of that plus a Facebook page, a Twitter account, perhaps other social media, and keeping it all updated. An online presence is another way of saying we care about you, and we want you to know about us. It also says we have some stuff going on that is worth talking about.
- You spend as much time being the church as going to church. Churches on the downward slope of decline focus a great deal of their time on maintaining the structures of the congregation. They spend a lot less time focused on enacting the Gospel through new ministries and new relationships. In other words, the primary activities of churches in decline are more about going to church than being the church. Younger people are more likely to be interested in churches that show they can make a real difference in the world rather than in churches that are just in survival mode.
- You’re willing to engage real issues in the world. Jesus restored people to independent living, fed hungry people, gave hope to persecuted people, healed those who were ill, helped the clueless see the error of their ways, and reached across divides to connect with people of different ethnic and religious backgrounds. What is your church doing along these lines? While the political process can positively or negatively impact people dealing with these issues, don’t tell young people how to vote. Rather, show them that people who face these issues are being helped by the church.
- You’re willing to deviate from 3 hymns and a sermon. Surprisingly enough, most young people don’t necessarily need a praise bands and an “easy” or non-existent liturgy. What they do need is worship that’s meaningful and that helps them experience God. Make use of ritual, nuanced liturgy, testimony, lectio divina, lighting of candles, communion, visuals, special offerings, high quality music, and a variety of prayer styles to fully communicate the power of the Gospel. This will not only touch the under 33 crowd, but older folks as well.
- Smart phones are welcome in church. People use their phones for all kinds of things: consulting an uploaded Bible or commentary, searching out a resource mentioned in worship, snapping a picture of something post-worthy, texting in a prayer request, or sending a friend a hopeful nugget they just heard. Smart phones are here to stay. Used rightly, they can definitely enhance worship by keeping people engaged. It’s also perfectly okay to ask people to mute them or put them on vibrate before worship begins.
- You focus on the “brilliant future God has for us.” This, in the words of Jeremy Steele, is a lot more attractive than harping on the sinfulness of humanity. Frankly, it may be more biblical too. If Jesus did inaugurate the Kingdom of Heaven, if his life, death and resurrection did change the world forever, if our prayers do matter, if worship does change us, then doesn’t it make sense that we are living into God’s brilliant future even now? Why not celebrate that? Worship shouldn’t be a recounting of the nightly news, but a re-telling of the Good News for our day and time.
- You’re willing to have beliefs questioned. Young people are willing to engage, question, consider, reject and even re-consider beliefs. That sort of intellectual honesty should not be a turn off for the church, but rather a chance to re-imagine or re-claim your own faith, and traditions. Engage young people in honest conversations and open discussions. Be prepared for your faith, and theirs, to grow as a result. Not to mention some discomfort.
- Your leadership reflects generational and racial diversity. Ethnic and racial groups are reaching a plurality in the US. That means there are as many black, brown, beige, and tan complected people in the US as there are pink ones. At the same time, there are more millennials than boomers. Bottom line: the face of America, and the world, is changing. How about in your church? Wherever possible, let your leadership reflect this diversity. If not in full time or paid staff, then in volunteer staff or in lay leadership.
- Love is a reality not a slogan. You may say you have open hearts, open minds, and open doors. But it
needs to be a reality in your church, not just words. You can start by praying on a regular basis for people who are very different from you. Let these prayers open your hearts. You’ll know you’re there when a transgendered, gay, ethnic, disabled, street person, refugee, or person from another country or with a different accent is welcomed as warmly as someone who looks or seems just like you. Young people are watching.
10. You’re willing for things to get a little messy. If you’re willing to do some or all of the above then you’ve noticed that things are probably a little messy. Life is unpredictable when we open up to accommodate people who are different than we are. The unexpected can and does happen. Consider this the beginning of unpredictability, and not the end of it.
I am throwing in a bonus to the checklist. Here it is, #11. It may be the most important one of all.
11. You have a vision bigger than “attract young people to church.” One lay led church I am working with is in the process of shifting their vision from growing a strong youth group to engaging young people in serving their neighbors. In their first vision, the young people are the objects of mission. In the second vision, the young people are seen as capable change agents who can impact their own world for the better. That’s a very different focus. One that’s a lot more energizing for both the adults and the young people.
So, how’d you do? If you answered 8-10 with a yes then feel very confident that you have a place that young people will feel welcome. Ask, invite and engage the 33 and under crowd eagerly and joyfully. Be ready to continue to grow and change.
If you answered 5-7 with a yes, you are probably headed in the right direction. But you still have some significant work to do. The good news is that doing this work will make your church stronger in many ways. Not just for extending an authentic welcome to younger people, but to truly be the church. Have an open discussion with the leaders in the congregation. Ask yourselves, what additional steps can we take to move toward a 10? Then do them.
If you answer 1-4 with a yes, ask yourself why you want to have young people in the church. If it’s just to keep the church from shutting down, it’s time to get more imaginative. Spend time in prayer, asking God to show you the Divine will for your building, your resources, and your legacy. Ask God if there’s anything you need to let go in order for these things to come to pass. Then be willing to do those things.
Here’s the bottom line: young people want more from the church, not less. This is an opportunity to flex our own faith muscles, showing the world all the church can be. Not merely a silent witness but an active participant. Not simply a throwback to an earlier time but a sacred gathering of people who live as if their faith truly matters—to the world.
