conflict Archives - Rebekah Simon-Peter Coaching and Consulting Inc.

Politics, Ethics, and the Voice of the Church: If Not Us, then Who?

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 20, 2026

I first published this blog in 2018 after the horrific high school shooting in Parkland, Florida. I asked at the time, “Can churches be involved in the most volatile issues of our day?” And my answer then, and now as we deal with violence of a different sort, is that if the church can’t or won’t speak out against cruelty and oppression, then what hope is there for a voice of conscience in our world?

Here’s the trouble, though. When we try to speak to wrenching issues from a political perspective, we get caught in either/or choices. Our two-party political system creates a win-lose situation with no room for nuanced disagreement. Either/or choices are destined to polarize. Churches are reluctant to get involved. I get it. I’d like to offer an alternative that every church can use.

The Ethical Position

Thankfully, speaking from a political perspective is not the church’s only choice. Churches can and should speak from an ethical perspective. Webster defines ethics as “moral principles that govern a person’s behavior or the conducting of an activity.” For the church, ethics are the living out of our faith in a world in which choices are rarely black and white.

When churches speak from an ethical position, we are able to discern and articulate truths that go deeper than the artificial either/or choices created by our two-party system. Adopting an ethical perspective means we consider how core values of the Gospels and Jesus’ teachings impact public policy. Viewing current events through an ethical lens also empowers us to address how the gifts and potentials of human life impact our responsibility to the common good. Finally, because we believe in a hopeful future for all of God’s creation, an ethical perspective enables us to react not just to what is, but to powerfully envision what could be.

The Voice of the Church

In the United Methodist Church, members take a vow to resist evil and injustice in whatever forms they present themselves. That’s as clear a call for an ethical response to current events as I’ve ever heard.

Thankfully, as violence has erupted on our city streets, we’ve seen many examples of clergy of all faiths standing up to protect neighbors, friends, and strangers against unlawful oppression. Some literally risking their own lives and safety.

There are multiple ways we can take action and truly be the voice of the church for justice. Establish new ministries and new policies. Pray new prayers. Preach new sermons. Encourage new conversations. Call the powers that be. Write letters. Speak up. Get together with other like-minded folks. March. Cry. Shout. Pray. The actions you take will be dependent on your setting and circumstances. The main thing is to act.

If not us, then who?

It’s up to us, as clergy leaders, to take the lead. Join me and take that first step to active renewal by registering for my free online seminar, “How Christian Ministries are Achieving Success“. You’ll learn concrete ways that your leadership can make a real difference in your community, our country, and the world.

Belief in Action

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Oct 21, 2024

As you know, these are challenging times. Times rife with hatred and violence, to both people and the planet. But during these challenging times, we who are moving from simply believing in to believing like Jesus can harness the courage and the power to make real, positive change. Change that makes a difference in the lives of the oppressed. In the fate of the planet. And in ourselves. Because without taking action to sustain and support ourselves, we can’t sustain and support others.

The transformation from believing in Jesus to also believing like him, can be the catalyst to responding to challenging times. Not just with passive prayer, but with action. Prayer, of course, is essential, but prayer motivated by belief can bring about amazing results.

Beliefs shape your thoughts; thoughts fuel your actions; actions demonstrate your faith, and your faith reinforces your beliefs. So, as you begin to believe like Jesus, you will find that you are now able to think new thoughts, take new actions, and develop new faith. Mountains and mulberry trees start to move. The people around you begin to respond in new ways. And the world becomes a brighter place.

Believe

Just as Jesus is in divine partnership with God, so are you. Jesus has faith that, at a deep level, there is no separation between him and God or between him and the Spirit. That they are divine collaborators. You, too, are invited into this unity, and are an expression of this oneness. Believe it. Embrace it. Don’t shy away from it. You are one with God.

Answer the Call

Jesus shows his partnership with God in his words and works. Use your creative, inborn capacity to create with words—to remind yourself of your unity with God. “I am one with God.” Saying the words names your belief and puts it out into the world. Contemplate your oneness with God to bring it to life. Express that divine partnership in what you do as well—in your good works. What becomes possible when you stretch and say “yes” to the needs around you? When you answer the call to help, your partnership with God will carry you.

Practice

Look for opportunities to partner with God. Nina Lesowitz and Mary Beth Sammons wrote a book about courage called What Would You Do if You Knew You Could Not Fail?: How to Transform Fear Into Courage. Let’s rephrase that and ask: What would you do if you knew God was your partner? Claim the courage to see the world through that lens. Put that partnership into practice with everything you do.

You and God can accomplish anything together, including miracles!

Including the miracle of transforming challenging times into loving, open, and peaceful ones.

Excerpted and adapted from Rebekah Simon-Peter’s forthcoming book, Believe Like Jesus: Rising from Faith in Jesus to the Faith of Jesus, November 2024.

Infusing Christmas Love in Conversations and Conflict

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Dec 27, 2023

Christmas has just passed, leaving behind a trail of excitement, anticipation, and leftover wrapping paper. It’s a time of gathering with loved ones to exchange gifts and enjoy delicious meals. However, as members of the faith community, we must remember that the true essence of Christmas transcends a single day of gift-giving and indulgence. The love of Christmas presents an opportunity to infuse advocacy and activism into our oral traditions.

Advocacy is about celebrating the fullness of Jesus’s Christmas love. You might think of the work of advocacy as just something that happens outside of your family and home. However, conversations with your loved ones can also be powerful tools for promoting love and compassion. You can connect with your friends and family on crucial social issues and inspire them to join you in action. By intertwining advocacy and activism into your post-Christmas conversations, you can forge meaningful experiences that bring you closer and create a lasting impact on the world. You can also use this time to educate yourself on different perspectives and learn to listen actively without judgment. Let’s explore some ways that advocating Christmas love all year can be infused with conversations and conflict.

Infusing Love in Conversation

Love is a universal longing, particularly heightened during the holiday season. Yet, advocating for it can be a year-long endeavor with the people you regularly spend time with. It can be challenging to establish authentic communication amidst the day-to-day hustle but by prioritizing meaningful conversations, you invest in your emotional well-being. It’s never too late to start having more authentic conversations, especially in the days following Christmas.

I would like to provide you with a few suggestions on practical ways to start the conversation:

Discuss Current Events: One of the most straightforward ways to bring up advocacy within your home is to discuss current events during family conversations. You can discuss the ongoing refugee crisis and the importance of supporting displaced individuals. This discussion can initiate additional conversations on how your family can make a difference close to home. Having this conversation will help your family consider supporting relevant charities, volunteering at local refugee centers, or advocating for meaningful reforms, including those related to immigration policies.

Share Personal Stories and Experiences: A powerful way to advocate for social issues is to share personal stories and experiences. Not everyone is fortunate enough to experience post-Christmas abundance. Maybe during a food drive, you spoke with a family or individual who was struggling with food insecurity. You’ve probably also volunteered at a homeless shelter handing out warm clothes and blankets. Talk about the people you met and the stories they shared with you. This will help humanize the issue and could inspire your family members to act.

Initiate Book or Movie Clubs with Advocacy Themes: Another practical way to spark meaningful conversations about advocacy is by initiating a book or movie club focusing on social inequity. Select books or movies that shed light on relevant topics such as gender inequality, racial profiling, LGBTQIA+ phobias, human trafficking, and more. Gather your family and friends for a discussion after reading a book or watching a movie. This can help create a safe space for open dialogue and encourage critical thinking.

Infusing Love in Conflict

Conflict is a part of every relationship. You may find that your friends and family do not share the same views or beliefs as you, and having conversations with them can be stressful. Sometimes a simple misunderstanding can turn into a resentment that will fracture a relationship. Connecting with your loved ones and cultivating deeper relationships built on trust and open communication is essential.

Here are a few tips for fostering meaningful conversations with family and friends that might not share the same views as you:

Set Aside Time to Talk Without Distractions: You can’t have a connected conversation if you are distracted. Turn off the television, put your phone on Do Not Disturb, and find a quiet space to sit and connect. You will be more likely to cultivate understanding in an environment free from all the little interruptions.

Actively Listen: When you listen, seek to understand rather than respond. By listening to what the other person has to say without trying to plead your case, you engage in meaningful conversation. This also allows you to give a safe space to others to communicate their point of view that they may not have elsewhere.

Respect Different Opinions: If everyone had the same opinion, the world would be a boring place. You can think and feel differently about something and still maintain respect and open dialogue with others. When you practice being respectful of differing opinions, you build trust in relationships and open your mind to new ideas.

Share Resources and Information: Learning more about the topic being discussed helps both parties. If it is an issue that matters to you, come to the conversation with information that the other person might not have considered. Offer resources from agencies that focus on the causes that are important to you and let your loved one consider this information on their own.

As we wrap up the holiday season, let us remember the true meaning of Christmas – the giving of love and compassion. While it may be easy to get caught up in the rush of gift shopping and festive parties, remember that this time of year holds so much potential for positively impacting our communities and personal relationships.

My heart is deeply committed to helping churches not only express love but to do so courageously. Courageous love extends its arms to the marginalized, projects a voice for the voiceless, and relentlessly advocates for justice. It is a love that dares to change the world and dares to invite others to join the mission.

I invite you to my upcoming seminar, “How Christian Ministries are Achieving Success: An Introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal®” on Tuesday, January 2, 2024, between 10:00-11:30 am MT or Noon-1:30 pm ET. This 90-minute online seminar is free and designed for you if you wish your leadership could make a tangible difference for the church, your community, and the Kingdom of God.

From Polarization to Purpose

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jun 13, 2023

For three days in an Airbnb rental in a cozy Atlanta neighborhood, my team and I embarked on a spiritual retreat that led us to reflect on polarization. Nine of us worshiped, laughed, worked, played, ate meals, and envisioned the coming year together.

During our time together, we aimed to build team spirit, share organizational knowledge, and strengthen our commitment to a shared vision of the future. However, it wasn’t all high-mindedness. We gathered during a time of increasing disaffiliation from organized religion. Over the years, we have witnessed a growing divide within the church, exacerbated by various issues such as doctrinal disagreements, cultural shifts, and a generational gap. Our retreat became a space for deep reflection and, at times, complaint.

As we reflected upon, and discussed the issues at hand, we recognized that complaining would simply keep us stuck in the problems rather than move us to take action to address them. As leaders, we must not look away from the hard conversations, but be equipped to handle them with grace and humility.

Consider Pastor Katie Saari, a Creating a Culture of Renewal® participant who excels at handling difficult conversations. Recently, her church has been grappling with issues related to human sexuality, and Pastor Katie has taken the lead in shaping the conversation. Previously, leadership at her church was quiet and driven by the laity. Pastor Katie’s willingness to confront narrow-minded views and endless debates has shifted the discourse toward authentic and meaningful dialogue.

She took what had been a polarizing conversation and used it as an opportunity to build relationships, foster unity, and promote understanding. In leading her church through difficult conversations, Pastor Katie has become a role model for handling divided opinions lovingly. Although polarization can hurt faith communities, it doesn’t have to.

This pattern of complaint and lack of action also existed during Jesus’ time. He lived in an era of religious and political polarization. Sadducees and Pharisees held opposing views on faith, culture, biblical interpretation, and relations with Rome. The Zealots and Essenes had their unique perspectives. Each group related differently to the Temple and envisioned different futures for the Jewish people. Those who didn’t align with any specific Jewish party often went unnoticed. Overall, people were upset, torn, and afraid.

In the midst of this polarization, Jesus stood apart from the prevailing narratives. Jesus uplifted a vision for the future that transcended the divisions of the day. This enabled him to gather a diverse following, including tax collectors, Pharisees, independent thinkers, Zealots, Temple authorities, Romans, and non-Jews.

So how did Jesus achieve this? His vision of the Kingdom of God prioritized ethics over politics.

With Jesus as their guide, the apostles couldn’t simply sit around and complain. They had to move into purposeful action. Inspired by this example, our retreat team shifted from complaint to taking accountable steps, moving away from polarization toward embracing Kingdom ethics. Drawing inspiration from Micah 6:8 (NIV) — “He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” — we made concrete written commitments to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God.

Just as partisan politics can be a spectator sport where personal involvement is limited, disaffiliation from the church can create a sense of detachment and disengagement. However, Kingdom ethics requires opening our hearts, minds, and souls to connect with those who have different perspectives and experiences.

This is what Pastor Katie has done in the local church. She led away from division and towards unity. We no longer need to remain in an either/or mindset in most tense situations within the church. Instead, we must learn to embrace both/and solutions. We can provide a space for differing opinions while striving for greater understanding and respect for those different from us. We can use our differences as a steppingstone toward seeking the common good.

When polarization wins, we all lose. But there is an alternative.

There is a way to build thriving church communities that embody God’s love and grace. Join me for a free webinar where I’ll share practical strategies for success and creating a culture of renewal in your ministry.

If you’re ready to work towards transformation together, reach out for a personal consultation to learn how you can be a part of this journey.

Does Your Church Have Laryngitis?

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Apr 25, 2023

Does your church have laryngitis? You’ll know by how you answer this question: What is your church speaking up about? Or, What is your church known for? If you answered: We are known for being friendly or we welcome anyone, then chances are what you’re really saying is “not much.” In that case, your church may have lost its voice. It may have laryngitis.

As people committed to the Kingdom of God, the Beloved Community, we are also called to make ethical decisions about right and wrong: what you will stand for, and what you won’t.

While laryngitis is mostly benign in humans, it’s usually indicative of a systemic problem in churches. I want to share with you what that problem is, three fears that drive the problem, and three ways to transform the fear so that we can speak with a clear, strong voice.

Losing Our Native Tongue

The problem I see is that churches confuse ethics with politics. If it’s being discussed on the news or in Congress, then it must be politics. For many churches, that means the topic of conversation is now off-limits. But that kind of self-censure limits our ability to speak our native tongue: the language of ethics. Ethics encompasses values, principles, ideals, right and wrong, virtue and sin. Meanwhile, we have left ethics to the politicians. While we claim laryngitis.

I’m not saying that re-claiming our voice is easy. It’s not. Whether we’re talking about chronic poverty, immigration, human trafficking, gay and transgender people, economic injustice, gun violence, or human impacts on the precious planet we call home the ethical issues before us are tough, tough, tough.

Reclaiming its voice is the hardest thing a church will do. But it is also the most freeing. Because it causes us to truly depend on the grace of God, to walk in the footsteps of the great Hebrew Prophets, and to emulate Jesus himself.

Fears

While Adam Hamilton has done an excellent job of “Confronting the Controversies,” I’d like to address 3 fears that often get in the way of churches dealing with ethical issues:

The fear of alienating people through controversy, or causing division, which in turn could mean losing financial givers.
The fear of delving into politics, especially if it puts us on the wrong side of where our people are, either red or blue.
The fear of losing a focus on the love of Christ, or straying too far from the spiritual.

Fear of Alienating People through Controversy: Though the church needs money and tithes to operate, being clear on issues of ethics, is of extreme importance. As a church leader, our congregations listen to, and often, respect us and our views. If we don’t possess the courage to name as sin the assaults on transgender and people of color, or the abuse of immigrants, mass shootings. Or if we are not able to stand up against laws that favor corporations at the detriment of the poor, then are we being true to Christ’s teachings? Are we being true to ourselves and our vocations? We can’t be ambiguous on issues that affect our fellow travelers on this planet, or the planet itself. We must have the courage to risk speaking up.

Speaking Tip #1: It’s not easy to speak truth to power. And sometimes it’s not easy to speak truth to those we know and love, to our faithful congregations. But overcoming the fear of controversy is essential to creating a planet on which we can all live in peace. You may lose people. But you may end up gaining more than you lose. Either way, you’ve done what Jesus would do.

Fear of Politics: I understand the fear of delving into politics. That’s shaky ground and sure to turn off some people. The trouble is, the public arena is where ethical issues are often debated and outcomes determined. I suggest bypassing political parties and personalities while exploring the underlying ethical issues being debated. When we deal with hot issues from an ethical or biblical standpoint, we put things on more neutral ground.

Speaking Tip #2: Dealing with ethics does not mean telling people how to vote or think. It does mean helping people explore the sources that can inform our thinking, especially scripture, experience, tradition, and reason.

Fear of Straying from Christ: People want and need to be grounded in the love of Christ. Dealing with ethical issues actually aids this. I think of ethics as the love of neighbor in action. Why would we leave that to career politicians?

Speaking Tip #3: Frame ethical matters in terms of love. This brings issues back into our territory and allows us to speak with authority and confidence.

The Power of Speech

While Martin Luther King Jr’s example has guided several generations of dreamers, a new incarnation has taken center stage recently, Pope Francis. In his brief tenure, he has managed to speak up on key issues facing the world from re-establishing good relations with Cuba, to living wages, to climate change, to the humanity of the LGBTQ community. Is he dealing with the political? Or the ethical? I’d say its love of neighbor on a grand stage.

Speaking Tip #4: Not sure how to begin speaking up? In the style of the prophets, we can use our voices to ask: Who is hungry? Who is thirsty? Who is rich? Who is poor? Who is included? Who is excluded? Once those dynamics are identified, we can approach it from the perspective of Jesus and his ministry. WWJD?

Finally, be sure to immerse yourself in prayer and study. Let the still, small voice guide you in reclaiming your own voice from the malaise of laryngitis. Who knows…it just might change the world.

If you are having trouble as a Christian leader reclaiming your voice, I would love to help. I have coached many leaders, successfully reclaimed their voice and found new strength in speaking up to injustice in the world. Reach out if you need coaching or just to share your thoughts!

Adapted, updated and reprinted from original posted February 2015.

How to Fail and Still Win

by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 17, 2023

All great accomplishments have one thing in common: failure. Discouraging, heartbreaking failure. Whether we’re talking about the amazing stories in the Book of Acts, the Wesleyan Revival of the 1700s, or the success of a regional megachurch, each one of these “successes” involved failures. Peter and Paul were embroiled in conflict in the book of Acts. John Wesley failed miserably in his work with the Native Americans and lost at love in his own life. Leaders of megachurches have had moral failings. But without these seeming failures, there would also be no memorable accomplishment. So let’s talk about how to fail and still win.

We tend to think of success as being defined by our accomplishments or victories, but it’s the failures that provide us with the wisdom necessary to succeed. The lie we tell ourselves is that the great leaders and movements of the past had it all together, while we struggle and fail. But every leader, movement, and person will fail at some point. That’s simply part of our humanity.

Failure gets a bad name. But failure need not be the end of the story. It is a necessary step to help us learn and grow in our faith journey. The Bible is full of stories of both failure and redemption, from Adam to Abraham, and from Sarah to Hannah, as well as Peter and the disciples. We would hardly call these heroes and sheroes of the faith failures.

As Christian leaders, it’s essential for us to understand how to fail and still win. In order to fail and still win, it’s important to understand the two types of failure. Knowing the difference can help you stay focused, motivated, and successful.

Passive Failure

The first type of failing is passive failure. Passive failure involves not trying or simply settling for the status quo. Passive failure does nothing to advance your goals or propel the Kin(g)dom forward. Rather, it keeps you stuck in a place of complacency where your potential isn’t explored or realized. It’s easy to fall into this type of passive failure because it requires no effort. But if left unchecked, passive failure can lead to stagnation and disappointment in your life and ministry.

We can all point to this kind of failure. We often use phrases to explain it, like, “They are just moving the deck chairs on the Titanic.” We know it when we see it. Worship is lackluster. Your mission projects are repetitive. You sense a congregation-wide feeling of apathy. You manage what you have without risking innovation or breaking new ground. If you are still doing what you did three or four years ago, you may be slipping into passive failure.

The effects of passive failure can be seen in churches: years of declining attendance, no new professions of faith, and a diminishing pool of volunteers. When the only course correction offered is trying harder at doing more of the same, that is a sign of passive failure.

It’s not easy to admit, but I’ve seen this type of passive failure in myself. When I hoped that things would change for the better but took no action to try something new. It’s a painful spot to be in.

Active Failure

The second type of failure is active failure. What sets active failure apart from passive failure is that rather than hoping things will get better if we simply try harder at doing what we’ve always done, we actively take risks. We give it everything we have—our total energy, focus, and commitment. Even so, we still miss the mark.

Yes, it’s still a failure. But this type of active failure brings hope by creating momentum. Even though the result might not have been what we intended, it’s still a win. By giving our best effort towards something meaningful, we will have created some new openings. Perhaps we operated from vision rather than fear. Or collaborated with new community partners. Or raised new funds and involved new people. Active failure is a win because it empowers those around us.

Active failure creates another kind of win: learning from your mistakes. The great thing about trying and failing is that you can figure out how to do things better next time. The same principle applies to us as Christian leaders. We may not consistently achieve our goals immediately or as expected, but failure often gives us the insights and wisdom to succeed.

Every great movie ever made, from Ben Hur to Star Wars to Mulan, includes a story arc of triumph over adversity. The hero fails multiple times before achieving the goal. In these stories, it is failure that helps shape and strengthen the protagonist’s character. This is true not only in the movies but also among the disciples, the early church, and even your church.

How to Get the Most from Your Failures

By understanding that there are two types of failure—passive failure and active failure—you can better prepare yourself for success as a Christian leader by embracing the art of active failing. If you fail but learn something new along the way, that’s a win! If you fail, but create openings for new action, that’s a win, too. So go forth boldly—trusting God—knowing that even if you fail this time, next time may be a huge success. After all, nothing ventured – nothing gained.

It was my failures, not my successes, in local church ministry that prompted me to develop Creating a Culture of Renewal®. I wanted to know how to create a lasting culture shift that moved the church from maintenance to mission, from inward focus to outward focus, and from discipleship to apostleship. This powerful program equips you with all the ingredients necessary to shift the culture of your congregation, no matter the size, denomination, or location. Email Ann at an*@***************er.com if you’d like to come to an Introduction to Creating a Culture of Renewal.

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