by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Apr 4, 2017
As we approach Easter Sunday, I have some rather personal good news to share with you. Rebekah Simon-Peter Coaching and Consulting Inc. is flying the coop! Let me explain.
Ten years ago, after having served 3 United Methodist congregations, I completed my call to local church ministry. With God’s help and my husband’s affirmation, I launched BridgeWorks on January 1, 2007. As the name suggests, this extension ministry was designed to be a national teaching ministry that built bridges of understanding and shaped larger conversations in the church.
I started by offering creation care workshops, and helped people make the connection between science and scripture. My books, Green Church: Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, Rejoice! and 7 Simple Steps to Green Your Church, came out in 2010. At the same time, I developed workshops along the theme of Reading the Bible with Jewish Eyes. In 2013, my book The Jew Named Jesus: Discover the Man and His Message came out. I traveled all over the Rocky Mountain west and points beyond, leading workshops and retreats, giving keynotes, and sitting on panels. People were hungry to learn more.
I sensed another hunger too. The desire for the church to thrive once again, to find its way.
Since 2011 I have been intensively developing a program called Creating a Culture of Renewal. It’s a 3-year process that’s designed to interrupt church decline and increase church vitality. Based in emotional intelligence, it’s coupled with the power of vision. And it works! I have since written 3 workbooks that support the process. More travel, more workshops and retreats, my blog carried on Ministry Matters, and now weekly webinars and coaching.
In January 2016, I changed the name of my enterprise to Rebekah Simon-Peter Coaching and Consulting Inc. My work now focuses on transforming church leaders and the congregations they serve.
At a time when church life is somewhat tenuous, it’s an honor to be thriving. It says to me that these conversations matter. People care about connecting larger ideas with daily faith. People care about getting along. Mostly people care about the Kingdom, about Jesus and his love. They don’t want to see his message die out.
For most of the last 10 years, my office has been a spare bedroom in our home. Soon after the talented and hard-working Ann Miller came on board, we expanded to two spare bedrooms. When my husband Jerry got laid off one year ago, he got creative. He started his own ministry venture, Hope Investments, and the dining room table became his office. Overflow got stored in the garage and a spare bathroom. There’s not much of the house left! We are bulging at the seams.
Later this month, we’ll be moving to a suite of new offices in downtown Casper. Details forthcoming. I couldn’t be more excited. At the same time, we continue to train new faculty to co-lead Culture of Renewal groups. We’re spreading from 12-person cohorts in Wyoming to New Mexico to North Carolina to New England to Iowa! I’m also working on some new leadership books. It’s really fun to be part of something that is growing and gaining steam.
I am filled with thanks to God, for sure. Nothing happens without Divine Guidance. But I’m equally thankful for you. I know that without you I wouldn’t be able to live out my calling. So, thanks for reading my books, hosting and attending workshops, joining groups, launching cohorts, trying something new! Most of all, thanks for engaging in new conversations with us. It has been a grand adventure so far.
We’ve come this far together. Would you go the next step with us? We’d love your feedback on the Infographic we are developing. We want it to tell the story of Creating a Culture of Renewal at a glance. We’re in the first stages of design. Tell us what you like about it and what you don’t.
Happy Easter! Happy Spring! And here’s to renewal–at every level.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Mar 27, 2017
When I teach emotional intelligence or EQ, I empower people to communicate in ways that bring out the best in those who frustrate them the most. But studies show that emotional intelligence goes much deeper than what we say or don’t say. It’s more fundamental than how we hold our bodies or what we telegraph with our faces. It turns out that EQ is coded into our cells and hardwired into our bodies. Our hearts are at the center of this.
This is good news for churches. It gives us yet one more way to help people connect the life of faith with faith in life. And to expand the loving, peaceable Kingdom of God!
Scripture tells us that we are wonderfully and fearfully made. A sense of wonder and awe is woven into our very beings. Science is now revealing that the
heart is at the center of this wonder and awe.
HeartMath Institute has been studying the heart and its rhythms for decades. It turns out that the rhythm the heart beats is directly correlated to positive or negative feelings. Negative feelings like frustration, anxiety, irritation and anger are correlated with ragged or jagged rhythms. They lead to illness, emotional upset and other unsettled ways of being. Positive feelings like peace, contentment, compassion and joy are correlated with smooth, ordered, coherent rhythms. The more coherent the heart rhythms, the more coherent the messages that are sent to the brain, the nervous systems and every other cell in the body. Coherent heart rhythms lead to clear thinking, unexpected problem solving and improved health.
A heart full of love and compassion, joy and peace has measurable impacts beyond that. Our hearts have a large electromagnetic field around them. We can radiate distinct energies to the people, and pets, around us. They pick up on these vibrations, which in turn, affects their heart’s coherence.
There is even evidence that our own individual coherence can impact the electromagnetic fields of the earth. That our love can encircle the globe and create a peace that others can tap into. The bottom line is this: It all starts within our own hearts. Maybe that’s what Jesus meant when he said the Kingdom of God is within.
Loving God, neighbor and especially our own selves makes a difference. And it’s never been more important. This love impacts our spiritual well-being, our physical health, our key relationships. It also impacts our neighborhoods, our societies, and the creation itself. It contributes to a positive resiliency in the collective consciousness of the world. It creates coherence in times of chaos.
This is affirmation for people of faith. Here’s what it means: The prayers we pray, the love we radiate, and the intentions we form have a real and lasting impact. The actions we take that are grounded in love and compassion multiply. The kindness we show to one another creates a measurable good. Let us not grow weary in well-doing, church. Let us craft bold visions of compassion and care that make manifest the love in our hearts. The Kingdom is near indeed.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Mar 6, 2017
Of all the roles a pastor plays—teacher, preacher, prophet, counselor, visionary, fundraiser, custodian, PR person, administrator, cheerleader, event planner—my favorite is God Whisperer.
You remember the Horse Whisperer movie. An unusual horse trainer, played by Robert Redford, was gifted at calming a spooked and traumatized horse. He gently got inside the animal’s head and heart and helped it become whole again. Since then, we’ve been introduced to dog whisperers, ghost whisperers and even whisperers of the walking dead. None of that is as exciting as being a God Whisperer, though.
As God Whisperers, our role is a bit different. We are called to develop sensitivity to the way God works and communicate that to others. I don’t want to sound arrogant here—like pastors are the only ones who can or do. That’s not the case at all. But since we are called to function that way, we might as well be ready!
I don’t know if it’s my Jewish background that lends itself so nicely to God wrestling, and trying to interpret what God is up to. Or if it’s my (nominal) background in the martial arts. But I remember thinking as a pastor, “I can’t believe I get paid to work on my relationship with God! Does it get any better than that?” God wrestling and God whispering have always been my passions.
At the heart of God Whispering is a strong and vital connection to one’s own spirit and spirituality. We can’t teach what we don’t know. We can’t lead others where we haven’t gone. We can’t whisper what we haven’t heard.
But sometimes we get so busy working for God that we neglect paying attention to God. That doesn’t cut it for God Whisperers. As Chief congregational God Whisperers, it’s our responsibility to stay as tuned in to our own souls as possible. Like any relationship, the one we have with God needs time, attention, an openness to intimacy and surprise. We have to be willing to let go of control, say we don’t know, and let the other take the lead. Only after that can we help others develop their own connection with God.
Our people can tell when we’re out of touch with the Divine. Worship is uninspired, dry. Church life is same old-same old. Preaching and teaching covers well-trod ground. Even administration can get wonky. If we’re going through the motions, guess who else will be?
When we are in sync with the movement of God, though, we give off a different vibe. We find courage to be grounded in chaotic times. We have the humility to be both pastoral and prophetic. We have the confidence to question, and to lead in new directions. We are able to distinguish the voice of God from competing voices
Let these 3 questions help you deepen your own quest.
- What is something new you’ve learned about God?
- What is something new you have learned about yourself in relationship to God?
- What can you share authentically about #1 and #2 with your people?
You might think these are impertinent questions. But if God is infinite and we, in our physical bodies, are finite, then there is always something new to learn about God. Not only that, the deeper we go in our walk with God, the more we listen for the whispers of God, the more we learn about ourselves. Our people too are eager to learn something new. Yes, they want to be loved, accepted, understood and appreciated AS THEY ARE. But I think they want more than that. Being authentic with your people keeps you humble, keeps them interested, and fine tunes the ability to whisper God’s message to others.
What’s God whispering to you these days? I’d love to hear about it. So would your people. Do tell!
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Feb 22, 2017
I can’t tell you how relieved I was to discover some 27 years ago, at the beginning of my journey to ordained ministry, that the United 
Methodist Church does not claim to be “the one true church.” That sort of certainty makes me suspicious. The more a religious body claims it’s the way, the truth and the life, the less room it leaves for being human. There’s simply limited space for curiosity, growth and discovery. Not to mention spiritual experiences that point in a new, uncharted, direction.
Don’t get me wrong. Personally, I love being right. I enjoy beating my husband at Jeopardy or surging ahead of a friend in Words with Friends. The only trouble is, if I’m always right, always winning, that means they’re always wrong, always losing. As one super-competitive friend laughingly shared with me, Words with Friends becomes simply Words.
Bottom line: Being right is great for the people who believe that they are. But it’s hell on everyone else.
In matters of theology and human sexuality, conservatives and liberals alike have insisted for decades that we are right. We have each claimed God is on our side. We have each pointed to scriptures, experience, tradition and reason to back us up. We have each found the evidence we are looking for—no matter our stance. We have demonized the other side, however politely.
I see a similar process happening with our politics. A recent New York Times analysis suggests that rabid resistance to Trump is backfiring; the more vocal the resistance, the more it energizes his supporters. Even if they don’t approve of him 100%. We saw a reverse but similar dynamic under Obama.
It reminds me of the truth, “What we resist persists.” Could it be, in our insistence on being right, that we are exacerbating our own polarization? I’m talking to everyone here, no matter what “side” you are on.
What would it look like to give up being right, anyway? I’m not exactly sure. But here’s what I’m not suggesting. I’m not suggesting that a person have no opinion, no ethics, no morals, no theology, no worldview. That would be impossible anyway. I’m also not suggesting being uninformed or passive.
What I am suggesting is taking a more biblical approach to our differences. That is, letting differing opinions sit side by side. It’s interesting to me that the New Testament contains 4 gospels. While many attempts are made to harmonize them, their differences remain. Not least of which is the list of disciples. Add to that the birth stories, and events surrounding Jesus’ life, death and resurrection. The 4 Gospels allow for significant differences of interpretation about Jesus and his followers. Yet somehow the codifiers of the Bible saw fit to keep all of them.
It’s a very Jewish way of approaching things. Appropriate, given Jesus’ own Jewishness. Check it out. The Hebrew Bible contains 2 creation stories, 2 flood stories and several competing strands in the Exodus account. Don’t even try to count how many times Moses went up and down Mt. Sinai to meet with God. They don’t add up!
Which account is right; which one is wrong?
In this case, that’s the wrong question. It’s not about who is right and who is wrong. It’s about how can we, like the Bible stories, co-exist with integrity, side by side?
One of the beauties of Jewish textual interpretation is its comfort with diversity and multiplicity. The Talmud, a record of conversations about the Mishnah, is full of varying voices. In the Talmud, it’s the conversation itself that’s interesting and insightful. Not who’s right and who’s wrong.
What if we were to approach our own potentially divisive conversations that way?
I write this in light of the recent news that two very large United Methodist Churches are leaving the denomination. “Both pastors cited their congregations’ frustration with the denomination’s long and acrimonious debate over the church’s sexual ethics and teachings on marriage,” writes author Walter Fenton. “Going forward, they said their congregations want to focus on kingdom matters so they are removing themselves from unproductive battles that distract them from their larger missions.”
I don’t know if that’s a cover for “being right” in a denomination they think has gone wrong. It may be. But even so, it points to a larger truth. Having to be right can kill the spirit. So can always being made wrong.
Church, I think it’s time to give up these false dichotomies. In our theology, organizational structures, and church meetings. While it would mean giving up the self-satisfaction of coming out on top, it would also mean giving up resignation, demonizing, and back biting. Most importantly, it would mean giving up being stuck. In its place, there might just be room for the Holy Spirit to move us in new, unexpected, directions.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Feb 7, 2017
In grade school, I was part of a brief study on the meaning of love. My third grade class was interviewed, a few at a time, on the meaning of love. I thought I knew what it was until I tried to articulate an answer. “It’s when you like someone very much.” Even as I said it, I felt flustered, unsure. Somehow I knew those words came up short. But I also knew that I didn’t really know what love was.
As Christians, we are committed to love. It’s our watchword. It’s our definition of God. Our highest human ideal. Yet, in church, the practice of love often falls short. As leaders, we draw the circle of concern close enough so that our sermons, prayers and conversations don’t stray into areas that might evoke feelings other than compassion and care.
But what good is love if we aren’t called to exercise it?
Sure, we’re good at praying for the old and ill. We intentionally feed the hungry in our communities. We respond with killer generosity to victims of natural disaster. Those are all important.
But what about when love stretches us into terrain where disagreement crops up? Where we feel afraid or unsafe? How do we exercise love then?
I encountered it everywhere this week. One leader I coach came away deeply unsettled from a meeting with a denominational board that tried to anticipate future rulings on leadership and human sexuality. Later that week, I attended a small, local prayer vigil for immigrants, refugees and Muslims. It was for the community, but was overwhelmingly attended by clergy from a variety of denominations. Still later, I attended a gathering of citizens who aimed to transcend fear and exclusion by actively engaging the democratic process. My takeaway from all this? As leaders, we care deeply about the issues before us, but we’re not always sure how to engage or empower those we lead.
I get it. These are not easy topics. But they are important. Especially for us Christian leaders. They rightly engage our deepest values, and our deepest fears.
Paul wrote that God has given us not a spirit of fear, but of power, love and self-control. With that spirit, Jesus counsels us to “Love those who hate you and do good to those who persecute you.” This isn’t the kind of love I was familiar with as a grade-schooler. It still takes more heart muscle than I can easily muster.
I’m not alone. We live in a time of increasing angst. Tempers are short. Insecurity is high. Outrage is the new norm. It seems like anything can happen.
Friends, this is our time! It’s our time to demonstrate courageous love. In order for us to love in the midst of angst, we need practice. This won’t be easy. But it’s definitely do-able. Here are specific ways to develop our capacity to love.
Love of God
- Begin by creating time in worship for people to directly experience and receive the love of God. Invite folks to sit quietly in worship for a few minutes of guided or silent meditation. Follow it up with a ritual of candle-lighting or reaffirmation of baptism. Enhance the power of this experience by reminding folks that God’s love is not dependent on their good behavior, self-evaluation, being perfect or any other quality. They don’t even need to be loveable. They are loved simply because they are creations of God, made in the divine image. Jesus’ own love of us reaffirms this.
- Next, lead people in expressing their love and appreciation back to God. Giving thanks for the smallest blessings to the largest ones increases one’s spiritual and emotional resilience. Every week invite people to share 3 things they’re grateful for with a person sitting close by. Or invite people to write a gratitude list that can be added to the offering plate. This expands our connections, raises the vibration of worship, and heightens our appreciation of life.
Love of Self
- Doom, gloom, and critical self-talk is the default position of our brains. This makes its way to our hearts and gets expressed in our behavior. Being hard on ourselves ultimately means we are hard on others. Help your people practice affirming themselves. This is not selfish or self-centered. This is sanity. It leads to calmer people who have an overflow of love to share with others.
Love of Enemies and Persecutors
- Having cultivated emotional resilience and a reservoir of love, guide your people in sending intentional love to those around them. This works for people near and far. They don’t have to like them, agree with them, or approve of them. They don’t need to be loveable by them. But offering love to others in prayer—enemies and persecutors included—shifts the heart and embodies Christ. It makes new conversations possible.
- Guide your people in how to speak from love when interacting with enemies and persecutors. Reacting from fear, hate, outrage, vitriol, or fear only sets up a chain reaction. Encourage them to refuse to demonize others. Counsel them to look for the best in other people, and grant them the dignity due fellow human beings.
From this place of intentional love, lead your people to take actions on behalf of those the world does not love. Grounded in love, you will be able to keep your cool in the midst of angst.
More than anything, love invites us to step into the gap between fear and faith. Continue to cast a Kingdom vision of the Beloved Community, of the reign and realm of God. Don’t abandon it because it might be uncomfortable, inconvenient, or controversial. Instead, lift it up because deep down it’s what we all yearn for. In the end, it’s all we have to offer.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 23, 2017
It’s on everyone’s minds. It’s all over the news. Millions of women took to the streets to make their voices heard. Should churches join in the political talk or not?
I say yes. The Bible is intensely political. Every prophet risks their skin by talking truth to power. Every king weighs obedience to God against other concerns. Every temple, shrine, and altar has political ramifications. The same with every war, skirmish, and battle. Even the Sermon on the Mount is political. Love your enemies? Do good to those who hate you? Who do you think Jesus is talking about? Religion and politics have always been deeply intertwined. Jesus’ own life is an example of that.
This co-mingling didn’t end with the biblical era. The church, at its best, and its worst, has always been political. We’re at our worst when we imagine Christ is aligned with one political party or another. Or when we cut deals. Or when we trade faith for power. We’re at our best, however, when like MLK, we strive for the soul of the whole nation.
How to talk politics though, without causing further pain and discontent? Here are some suggestions to get you started.
1. Start with ground rules that insure careful listening and mutual respect.
2. Don’t assume they voted for their candidate for the exact reason you didn’t. In other words, don’t assume the worst in them and the best in yourself.
3. Plan to listen deeply for the personal stories behind the political passion.
4. Assume they’re not 100% wrong and you are not 100% right.
5. Assume God loves you all.
Once these are in place, look for biblical principles that you agree on. Look for how the biblical principles might get played out in a particular policy. Ask, What are the ethical ramifications of such policies? When we discuss things at this level, we are talking politics in a way that edifies and builds us up, rather than divides and tears us down.
To get beyond knee-jerk reactions means listening deeply. To the Bible, to the Spirit, to one another, to journalists, and to the politicians who present these options.
This is far from easy. It requires us to be well-schooled in both our faith and in the issues at hand. It means digging into the Bible, our personal beliefs, and the guiding principles behind legislation and policy. You gotta to listen to more than sound bites to do that.
It’s worthwhile though. I believe engaging in these kinds of conversations keeps the church honest. It helps us determine if we are living out the love we profess. It helps us be clear if we are living out our baptismal vows of using our God-given power to resist evil, injustice and oppression in whatever forms they present themselves. It helps us get straight on if we are furthering the Kingdom.
In the midst of our discussions, let’s not forget to pray. For ourselves. For our country. For one another. And for our leaders. President Trump needs our prayers, and our love. Really. At the same time, he needs our accountability and engagement. His success, and our success as a country—whether you voted for him or not—depend on that. We can only hold him and other leaders accountable, appropriately, if we are spiritually grounded, well-informed, and speaking from love.
Want to get in on the whole discussion? Click here to check out this recent conversation with Discipleship Ministries’ Scott Hughes and I.
