How Many Christmas Eve Services Should Your Church Have This Year?

How Many Christmas Eve Services Should Your Church Have This Year?

by | Nov 15, 2022

How many Christmas Eve services should your church have this year? In many places, worship attendance numbers are down. Volunteerism is down. And things haven’t really bounced back up to pre-pandemic levels.

So you may be feeling disappointed as you consider Christmas. Before you go too far down that road, though, remember that the need for faith, for belonging, and for tradition is still high.  And the people who worship with you this year may just discover something they didn’t know they needed: tradition, community, and a larger purpose.

Let’s take a closer look at the question of how many Christmas Eve services your church should have this year. Here are four different factors to consider.

 

#1 Who are you trying to reach?

Who do you hope will attend your Christmas Eve services? Perhaps families with young children, older adults, people of different cultural backgrounds, teens, young adults, people who live in another part of town, or people who work on Christmas Eve. Catering to each of these groups might require special consideration like the time of the service, the location, or special components to include.

For instance, if you’re trying to reach people who work on Christmas Eve, you may want to have a service on the morning of Christmas Eve or even the day before. If you’re trying to reach people who live in a specific part of town, move your service to that location. Read on to learn more.

 

#2 What is the size of your congregation?  

Large congregations will need more than one service to accommodate everyone. Small congregations can probably do with just one service. But there are factors beyond size to consider.

 

#3 What is the age demographic of your congregation?  

If your congregation is mainly made up of young families with small children, plan a service that is specifically geared toward them. Late afternoon or early evening may work best. Incorporate child-friendly components by having an outdoor Nativity scene, a children’s choir, or a special message just for kids. As an added bonus, earlier services with kid-friendly components may feel less intimidating and require less commitment for visitors.

On the other hand, if your congregation is made up mostly of older adults, consider the classic  7 pm Christmas Eve service. Or even midnight services if that is traditional in your setting. Even if you think an earlier service might solve problems for older adults—like driving at night or getting around in the dark—don’t be surprised when older adults choose tradition over convenience.

A good rule of thumb is to ask your congregation members which service(s) they would prefer and would invite others to.

 

#4 How many staff and volunteers do you have?

If you have limited staff and volunteers, you may need to limit the number of services you hold. Alternatively, if you have plenty of staff and volunteers, you can accommodate more services. However, remember that Christmas is a busy time for everyone, so your staff and volunteers may already have commitments outside the church with family and friends. Ask them if you need to figure out how many people you can count on to help. But don’t wait until the last minute!

Don’t count out volunteers from the community to help with things like parking, greeting, and ushering. This can be a great way to reach out beyond the church. Often people will attend if they have a role to play. Having a specific task decreases social awkwardness and gives people a purpose. Sometimes people with little to no connection to Sunday morning church will jump at the chance to help during the holiday season. Last week, a pastor in my clergy leadership program, Creating a Culture of Renewal, shared that they received an email from someone they had never met asking if their daughter could join the choir for their upcoming Christmas season.

 

Are there any other factors to consider?

The bottom line is that there is no right or wrong answer regarding how many Christmas Eve services your church should have. It depends on various factors. What is best for your church may not be what is best for another church. The important thing is to prayerfully consider all of the factors involved and make the best decision for your church.

However, there are three bonus reasons to consider hosting more than one Christmas Eve service.

  1. Christmas Eve is a built-in outreach opportunity, so even if your community is small, you consider having more than one service to reach people who don’t usually attend your church. People love choices.
  2. Christmas Eve is when many people search for meaning and hope, so don’t miss the opportunity to reach out to them.
  3. This year, even more than last, feels like a return to normal after the pandemic. As such, some people who haven’t been attending throughout the pandemic will be returning to in-person worship services.

 

Most of all, have fun!

Remember that Christmas is a fantastic opportunity to reach new and unchurched people. Don’t be afraid to stretch for a new goal this year. Just be clear about your mission and purpose and be sensitive to the needs of your congregation and community. Be creative and encourage the church and your leadership to think about what could work, rather than what could fail. And most importantly, have fun! Christmas is a joyous time of year, and your services should reflect that.

What factors do you consider when deciding how many Christmas Eve services to have? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments below!

 

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com. All Rights Reserved.

Three Ways Church Leaders Can Offer More During Advent

Three Ways Church Leaders Can Offer More During Advent

by | Nov 8, 2022

Advent is coming! During this four-week season that directly precedes Christmas, Christians remember Jesus’s first coming and look toward his second coming. It is a time of anticipation and hope. It also marks a change in pace from the rest of the year. In our fast-paced, impatient culture, Advent can be a welcome respite. In fact, people often attend church during this time to seek out the love and spiritual connection they may not find elsewhere. Regardless of the state of the world or their personal circumstances, people are hungry for something more during Advent. Be prepared, as a leader, to offer more.

You can do it!  And I have a few suggestions. In fact, here are three ways church leaders can offer more during Advent.

 

#1 Create Rituals of Waiting

In our society, we are used to getting what we want when we want it. We have become accustomed to a world of instant gratification. Uber Eats, Amazon Prime, and video on demand are examples of this.  However, Advent teaches us that sometimes the most valuable things in life take time. Both to prepare for, and to receive. Yet, they are worth waiting for.

This is not to say that waiting is easy. In fact, it can often be quite difficult. Invite your congregation to  embrace the idea of waiting during this Advent season. Design rituals that mark the progression of time and bring a sacred sense of anticipation. Hold a craft evening to create Advent calendars. Invite people to walk a labyrinth in individual and group settings. Make and put gifts aside for future gift-giving.

 

#2 Tap into Spiritual Longings

It’s easy to focus on how the church in North America is in decline. While this is true it is not the full story. Lifeway research finds that 6 in 10 people are willing to attend a Christmastime service if invited. While this research was done before the pandemic, it still holds true that some people are simply awaiting the invitation. People are still interested in spiritual community. They are looking for a way to connect with something larger than themselves. The church is designed for this! Tap into people’s spiritual longings by creating messages and experiences that encourage people to go deeper. Then ask your congregation to invite people to join them in church.

 

#3 Expect a Crowd

This is the time of year when even people who do not usually attend church services try to come. As a leader, take advantage of this by making sure that your church is ready to welcome them. In fact, expect a crowd. With that in mind, make sure that your church is clean and inviting. Spruce up the bathrooms and the nursery. Make sure that there are enough chairs for everyone. Get out the good coffee. Fill the fellowship hall with extra treats. Most importantly, ensure your congregation is ready to welcome visitors with open arms. Invite your congregation to see every guest as a gift from God. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know. Call familiar faces by name. Others around you will follow suit.

 

Offer More this Advent

As we come out of the pandemic, people long for human connections, spiritual depth, and the joy of being together at a special time of year. Offer more in whatever way you can. This is a time when people are often more receptive to thoughts and ideas that they might normally deflect. Use this opportunity to encourage people to grow in their faith and rekindle their relationship with God.

Over the next several weeks, I will be talking about Advent and how we can make the most of this sacred season. Be sure to check my blogs for new posts every week that will help you make this Christmas season the best one yet! I hope you will join me as we prepare for Christmas.

If you’re already thinking ahead to Lent, you are not alone. Please check out a unique opportunity to experience the 40 Days of Apostleship as a congregation.

 

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com. All Rights Reserved.

6 Ways to Work with People You Don’t Like (To Work With)

6 Ways to Work with People You Don’t Like (To Work With)

by | Nov 1, 2022

We all have to work with people that we don’t necessarily like. Maybe they are always negative, or perhaps unceasingly positive. No matter the reason, there are people who rub us the wrong way, or simply, can be tough to get along with. However, to be successful in your ministry, you must find a way to work with all kinds of people. Even those you don’t like. The Platinum Rule is an excellent tool for doing just that. In this blog post, I will share with you 6 ways to work with people you don’t like (to work with).

First, I’ll name different kinds of people. Then I’ll give you specific ways to apply the Platinum Rule to work with these people you don’t necessarily like.

Before we get started, let me offer a word of caution. As you scan the list, you may think, “I don’t need to read about that kind person. I get along great with them.” But don’t skip over the descriptions of people you’re already comfortable working with. Instead, I encourage you to read all six examples. Not only will you feel affirmed, but I believe you will find new Platinum Rule strategies to upgrade your relationship with each kind of person.

Now, on to the six kinds of people and ways to work with them even if you don’t like to.

 

6 Kinds of People You Don’t Like to Work With, and How to Do it Anyway

 

  1. Fast-Paced People

When working with people who like to go much faster than you, don’t get thrown by their pace. Chances are, you are more moderate-paced and cautious or conscientious. You may like to take a slower pace to make sure you’ve thought of all contingencies and taken care of all concerns. There’s a benefit, however, to working with fast-paced people. They often bring new ideas, or fresh courage that will benefit both you and the congregation. So, don’t skip working with these people. Instead, listen for the results they are after, and the ideas they are proposing. Often, fast-paced people want to get things done so they can move on to the next project that will also be beneficial. So, instead of trying to slow them down, contribute details and suggest systems that will aid in the process of getting to the result. Knowing that you are making a contribution to a desired result, while not putting on the brakes, may help you feel more comfortable with their pace.

 

  1. Fact-Finders

People who insist on gathering far too many facts before acting while you’re chomping at the bit can be an exercise in patience. Fact-finding may feel like it’s slowing the process to the point where it hinders you from taking necessary action. It may even feel like the window of opportunity is closing. So what I’m about to say will seem counter intuitive. Ask yourself: Is the fact-finder being thorough in order to ensure that you have all the particulars necessary for you to succeed? Rather than working against you, is this person actually on your side? Chances are, they want you to succeed. If so, you’ll notice that the fact-finder’s intention to make informed decisions will help you in the long run.

 

  1. Intuitives

What do you do when the person you have to work with doesn’t make logical sense? When you can’t follow what they’re saying? It’s like doing math and not showing the work. It can be infuriating! It’s important to understand that some people trust their intuition, or their gut, more than others. There’s a good reason for this. Intuitives find that their gut is one of their best resources in decision-making. If you are working with an intuitive, ask questions rooted in curiosity, not judgment. Curiosity will allow them to expand on their intuition and explain how it connects with the work and decisions at hand. If your logic and their intuition are at an impasse, try to provide the other person with evidence or facts to help them understand your position.

 

  1. Interior-Processors

Some people like to get it all worked out in their heads before they even say a word out loud.  This can make it hard to work together. Especially if you are a verbal processor. Their lack of engagement may make you feel judged or ignored. However, it’s important to understand that interior processors need extra time to gather and evaluate their thoughts. Verbal processors, however, can think and talk at the same time. When the interior processor is ready to share ideas, listen carefully, and try to see things from a different point of view. Often when working with people who like to think a bit before speaking, it is helpful if you can have a transparent process or structure for the project. This will help them feel more comfortable sharing their ideas. Sometimes creating a safe space for people to share ideas without the fear of criticism is all people need to move from working in silos to working well with others.

 

  1. Adaptives

Adaptives believe they have a limited amount of influence in any given situation, because “that’s just the way things are.” So they adapt themselves to the current reality, rather than try to change it. This can be frustrating if you can see potential in almost every situation. While it can be good to be optimistic, it is more important to understand where the other person is coming from. An adaptive person likely has seen things go wrong in the past. Their caution or realism may stem from not wanting to get their hopes up just to have things fall apart. When working with an adaptive, focusing on incremental positive change rather than wholesale transformation. Look close to home for places to invest your energy and resources, rather than to grander visions that can be harder to monitor or influence. Invite adaptives to name successes in your work together. Honor their focus and celebrate the wins that come.

 

  1. Possibility People

While adaptives opt for do-able wins and local impact, possibility people see options for greatness around every corner. This worldview can drive you nuts when you haven’t seen evidence that would support that level of hopefulness. Possibility people may not understand your concerns, and worse yet, ignore your input. They may minimize your measured approach by calling it negative. However, it is essential to know that possibility people can effectively challenge the status quo, making way for new ministries to be revealed. When working with possibility people, try to see things from their perspective. Allow yourself the space to test previously held assumptions about what can be accomplished. You may find at times that because of their views, your accomplishments together are more significant than you could have imagined.

 

The Platinum Rule Revealed

The above scenarios reveal an important aspect of the Platinum Rule: “Treat others how they want to be treated.” That means respecting the pace, processes, approaches, mindsets, and values that come naturally to them, even if they are a stretch for you. Practicing the Platinum Rule is a great way to ensure that you demonstrate respect for others.  Getting caught up in your way of doing things is easy, but it is essential to remember that not everyone is the same. If you want to be successful in working with people you don’t like (to work with) you’ve got to be willing to adapt to the preferences of others from time to time. This is empathy in action. It says: “I am willing to work together to find a solution.”

I hope you have found these 6 ways to work with people you don’t like (to work with) helpful. Even so, it can take practice to integrate these principles into your relationships. That’s why I’ve created the Platinum Rule Leadership for Changing Times workshop. It will give you the tools and skills necessary to create better relationships with all the people around you. Even the people you don’t like (to work with). Learn more and register here.

 

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com. All Rights Reserved.

3 Reasons Churches Need the Platinum Rule

3 Reasons Churches Need the Platinum Rule

by | Oct 18, 2022

Change is the name of the game in church these days. Even so, one thing remains the same: the importance of building positive relationships with people. Whatever else may change, people are your most valuable resource. And, at times, your most challenging one, too. For the busy leader, managing a wide variety of relationships can be very trying. Especially during times of rapid change. That’s why I want to share with you the three reasons churches need the Platinum Rule.

 

The Golden Rule vs the Platinum Rule

First, let’s get clear on what the Platinum Rule is, and how it differs from the Golden Rule.

The Platinum Rule is like the Golden Rule in that it points to best practices in human relationships. But “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you,” doesn’t always go far enough. This is especially true in this age of offendability, polarization, and quick contempt for people who are different. When Jesus and other teachers of his time taught the Golden Rule, it was revolutionary because it emphasized similarity among people.

But these days, our focus has tended toward our differences, rather than our similarities. As life continues to evolve, developing empathy for those who are different is a key quality to add to our understanding of loving relationships.

So the Platinum Rule, “Treat people the way they want to be treated,” is an important principle for these days. It takes the focus off of your particular preferences (the way you want to be treated) and puts the spotlight on the preferences of your neighbor (the way they want to be treated.) The Platinum Rule also reflects a growing awareness of the need for emotional intelligence.

When churches embrace this wisdom, they have an incredible opportunity to create a safe and loving place for community to flourish, differences and all. Without further ado, let me share with you the top three reasons churches need the Platinum Rule.

 

Three reasons churches need the Platinum Rule

  1. The Platinum Rule allows you to honor the dignity and personhood of those who are different than you. 

If there is one distinguishing characteristic of the world right now, it’s that there is so much diversity. This ranges from what people prefer to be called, to how people identify themselves, to what people believe, to country of origin, to ethnic and cultural differences. You may not always agree with others, or even understand them, but by treating people the way they want to be treated, you offer them the highest form of respect and love.

Let’s say you’re not sure whether to refer to someone as Latino, Hispanic or Latinx. (Latinx is a gender-neutral term.) What do you say when you’re just not sure? The Platinum Rule gives you permission to ask, without shame or fear. And it gives permission to the other to share their answer with you, again without shame or fear.

In this case, using the Platinum Rule is a powerful way of honoring and respecting the dignity of individual people, and of uplifting the person that God has created each of them to be.

 

  1. The Platinum Rule is a way to love your neighbor as yourself.

This comes from letting go of ego and the need to be “right.” Now, I know that this isn’t easy because inherently, almost everyone likes to be right. But, by needing to be right, you automatically make someone else “wrong.” This wears on a relationship.

When you give up the need to be “right,” you also release your neighbor from having to be “wrong.” As you refrain from judgement, you also gain the capacity to be comfortable with nearly everybody, even as others can be comfortable with you.

The Platinum Rule gets you off the seesaw of judgementalism, and places you on an even playing field with other human beings. Not only does this make more love available, it is countercultural in a world that can’t wait to choose up sides.

 

  1. The Platinum Rule allows you to bridge differences.

The Platinum Rule allows you to give people the benefit of the doubt, and to ascribe good motives to others. It allows you to understand the situation from another’s point of view. This doesn’t mean dropping your own values or compromising your own perspective. Instead, it means simply expanding your capacity to acknowledge different perspectives and values. Lastly, the Platinum Rule allows you to embrace differences, instead of trying to eliminate them. If we are all made in the image and likeness of God, then each individual has something to offer. Some of your strengths will be others’ weaknesses, and likewise, some of your weaknesses will be their strengths. Capitalize on that.

 

Platinum Rule Bonus

As you practice the Platinum Rule, you will find yourself becoming more self-regulated. If you’re more prone to accepting others, to seeing things from their perspective, and to looking for ways to bridge differences, likely you are coming from a calmer space. This kind of calm gives others permission to do the same. Calm thinking and deep faith allow you to tap into creativity and collaboration instead of polarization and contempt.

 

Next Steps

As you prepare to lead your church into a new season, remember to apply the Platinum Rule in your interactions. If you still aren’t quite sure how, or want to delve into this more deeply, join me for my upcoming workshop, Platinum Rule Leadership for Changing Times. Beginning November 3, this three-session, online workshop will help you better understand those who are different from you and expand your emotional intelligence to make the most out of every relationship.

 

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com. All Rights Reserved.

I Was Wrong About…Power

I Was Wrong About…Power

by | Oct 12, 2022

I was wrong about power. I thought power was something you had to take from another person in order to have. Or that power was something you lorded over another in order to get them to do something. I thought power was inherently sinister.

Granted, these were ideas I picked up in early life. They came from watching leaders behaving badly. But it’s surprising how these ideas have continued to influence me. As I have grown in my understanding of God, I can see that I was wrong, very wrong, about power.

To be sure, there are people in the world in positions of power who take from other people, or lord their positions over others, or use their power in a malevolent fashion. But the issue there isn’t power per se. The issue is their self-understanding. There is something amiss in their humanity, maturity, or theology. And there may be something amiss in the structures in which they operate. But the issue isn’t power itself.

That’s because we all have power. Personal power is a gift from God. You can’t not have power. It’s one of the ways we are made in the image and likeness of God. Power shows up in the way each of us exercises our agency. Each one of us has the capacity to decide basic things for ourselves. Things like our actions, feelings, responses, behavior, and beliefs. God has made it that way. In fact, God has given each one of us so much power that we can choose to ignore God! That’s a lot of power!

 

Jesus’ Power

Jesus is a beautiful example of living fully into the image and likeness of God. Jesus used his divine power to calm storms, wind, and waves. He healed and raised the dead. He taught so as to re-shape self-understanding, and forge new relationships among people. He lived in such a way that others saw new possibilities for themselves.

More importantly, Jesus not only possessed this power, he passed it on to those around him. Think about the disciples. On their way to becoming apostles, they followed Jesus as he empowered and encouraged them. He gave them permission to tap into their own power by showing them how to not only have faith in him, but to have the same kind of faith he had. That’s a lot of power. Jesus wasn’t stingy with power. He was generous with it. That’s true power.

Before, I was looking at power as zero sum, or manipulation. Now I understand that power comes from within. It’s a gift given by God. Everybody’s got it. The question is what will we do with it? Jesus’ example is the best I’ve ever seen.

 

Empowerment is True Power

As a leader, the more you tap into your own personal power, and consciously exercise your agency, the more peace and effectiveness you’ll have as a leader. Not only will you get to choose your responses to situations, but you will also be able to teach your people how to choose their responses as well. That’s good news for the church. Churches that exercise their agency means more disciples, more apostles, and more positive impact in the world. It also means you won’t have to minister alone. Jesus didn’t minister alone. And you shouldn’t either.

First, though, you, yourself have to be empowered. That means letting go of self-limiting beliefs so that you receive all of the gifts that God has offered you.

To put it plainly: first, receive the divine power within, and then multiply that power by empowering others. You’ll find that the more power you give or share, the more power you actually have.

Recently, I was with my team of faculty from Creating a Culture of Renewal®. As we reflected on a retreat we had co-led, there was a moment of tender sharing. One of the team acknowledged me, saying, “The fact that we’re all functioning and leading so well together is a sign of your leadership, because you have empowered us.” In that moment, I realized that I don’t have to see other people thriving and surviving as competition – (the sense of being in competition for power is probably why the evil or insecure feel they have to wrest power away from others) – but, rather, see their flourishing as a sign of me giving power away and empowering them. They in turn, empower me with the gifts that God has granted each of them!

 

Next Steps

As you think about power in your ministry, don’t think about wresting authority from others. Instead, think about power you can first receive from God, and then, power you can give away.

I promise you’re going to find that as you share power, you will be increasingly empowered. As you watch the people around you flourish and thrive, you will see that more gets done with more alignment, more companionship, more community, and more power shared. Including with you! You’ll learn to be open to being empowered by others, even as you empower them.

I was wrong about power, but you don’t have to be. Power shared is power multiplied.

Not sure how to go about this? Take the next step by tapping into Platinum Rule Leadership for Changing Times.

 

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com. All Rights Reserved.

I Was Wrong About… Love

I Was Wrong About… Love

by | Sep 7, 2022

As a pastor and in the act of preaching, I always thought that it was my job to call people to do something. To take some action to make a difference in the world. And I figured that action was about organizing ourselves to fight against the injustices that are present in the world. But I’ve recently realized that I was wrong. I was wrong about love, and I was wrong about the power of love.

I thought love had no power. Or at least, no real power to change things. I judged that preaching about love, kindness, civility, and prayer was lacking in power.

Yes, I know Jesus said, “Love one another as I have loved you,” and, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, strength, mind, and soul,” and, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But somehow, I always translated that love into fighting or into some sort of action against something. I didn’t understand the true power of love to affect change.

Recently, though, I’ve seen it in my life, and especially in my family life. I’ve noticed that when I fought things, what came back was more fight energy. When I fought things, there was resistance, because the only thing that could be available to the other person was defensiveness. Now that I’ve begun to employ the power of love in my family, rather than fighting, or pointing out where I think people are wrong, I’ve been amazed at what’s come back to me.

You know what’s come back? More compassion. More love. More openness. More understanding.

I think about the place that we’re at in the world right now. I think about the gun violence, the assault on democracy, how lies pass as truth. And, I’m not saying just lie down and take it. But I am saying that when we take on injustice, our actions must come from a place of love, rather than hate. Compassion rather than disdain, aligning with “God’s highest energies.”

There’s something about the energies of revenge, hate, and disdain, that call forth more of that in the world. I don’t know how it works exactly, but I trust it, and I know it to be true because I’ve experienced it. I’ve seen how fight leads to fight. But love, somehow, leads to breakthroughs. Not always predictable ones, mind you, but breakthroughs, nonetheless.

Instead of putting others down, tap into the powers of love and compassion by loving God, by loving ourselves, and finally by being able to love our neighbors. Find the scriptures that call us to that highest love and see what happens when people come from love. Then emulate that for yourself.

I admit that I was wrong about the power of love. It turns out it is the most powerful force in the universe, which is why the scriptures reveal to us that God is love.

The Heartmath Institute is one of my favorite organizations. It connects science and spirituality and has demonstrated through scientific studies that when the heart is engaged in feelings of compassion, kindness, appreciation, or love, that it actually has the power to change the hearts of people around it to be on that same electromagnetic frequency. In the same way, if you’re in the space of distress, disdain, anger, revenge, resentment, or hate, you also have the power to turn hearts in that direction. In other words, we have the power to influence those around us. Even furthermore, we can be intentional about creating change around us.

Love is a higher power than hate. Pastors, church leaders, people of faith: take heart that when you tap into the powers of love, you add more love to the world.

This November, I’m offering a 3-session workshop – Platinum Rule Leadership for Changing Times – where you will discover how tapping into the power of love can make a significant difference in your life, your congregation, and your relationships. Built upon the strengths of the Golden Rule, the Platinum Rule expands your emotional intelligence to help you become a better leader. I hope you’ll join me!

 

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.