by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Apr 16, 2014
Resurrection is the promise of Easter. The only trouble is no death, no new life! I don’t know about you, but it seems to me that new life is what I crave!
So this Holy Week, I thought I’d share with you the top 3 ways to avoid resurrection:
1. Refusal to let the old die out
I have seen too many ministries propped up or emotionally subsidized because they used to be successful. Or because they were someone’s pet project. Yet the current results or enthusiasm no longer warrant the resources to keep them going. They suck time, money and energy out of a church that might otherwise be used more effectively.
Here’s the trick: get comfortable with emptiness until something new surfaces.
2. Refusal to change
We’ll experience 20,000 years worth of change in this century alone. That means the church has to become more agile at embracing change simply to connect with our communities. Don’t mistake “Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever” with God or faith being static. Instead consider that Jesus is the ultimate expression of God’s ingenuity and creativity!
Go ahead put up a screen, get a Facebook account, create online giving options, and mentor the next generation into leadership!
3. Refusal to be uncertain
Jesus faced an unknown future. Would God let the cup of suffering pass or not? It took faith not to know. There’s lots of stuff we don’t know now…and can’t know. We’ll never know unless we trust God and life enough to take uncertain steps.
Give up having to be certain. Step out in faith! Try something you’re pretty sure might fail…just to see! Have an adventure. Build your faith muscle.
“Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.”
If you want to talk about how to embrace resurrection instead of avoid it, shoot me an email (re*****@***************er.com)!
Here’s to new life!
Rebekah
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 30, 2014
This week, I bring you the last tip for people of faith who are resolved to evolve in 2014. In case you missed the previous ones, Tip #1 was Get Authentic. Tip #2 was Get to know Jesus, again. Tip #3 was Be bold!
Here’s Tip #4: Do it Wrong!
You heard me right: Do it wrong.
Here are five reasons why doing it wrong may just be right.
1. Trying something, even if it’s wrong, may be better than not doing anything at all. Peter tried to walk on water. Yes, he got afraid and lost his buoyancy. But we wouldn’t have the idea of stepping out on faith if it weren’t for him!
2. You may get something else right. Some of the best things have come about because somebody did it wrong. Post It Notes were a result of a glue that was too weak for it’s intended purpose. The glue got nixed. But we got Post It Notes!
3. All the stuff we now think of as “normal” was once unimagined. Worshiping in cathedrals was the norm in Christian Europe, but house churches were the norm in the American Frontier. Who knows what the future holds? Try your new idea, even if it doesn’t pan out.
4. The world is changing quickly. As one blogger wrote, “By the time you put in all that work to do it the way they told you it is done, they aren’t doing it that way anymore!” What if the Israelites had insisted on bringing farming equipment with them out of Egypt and into the desert? They would’ve missed the beauty of the manna. And the building of their faith. Follow the prompting of the Spirit…and do the next right thing. Even if it turns out to be “wrong.”
As you resolve to evolve this year, have the courage to do it wrong! Who knows? It might turn out to be just right.
I would love to hear the things you are doing wrong…and right…this year! Let’s talk.
In the meantime, did you catch the thing/s I did wrong in this note?
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 27, 2014
This week, I’m continuing to share tips for people of faith who are resolved to evolve in 2014.
Here’s Tip#3: Be bold!
Is there something you’ve been wanting to say? Or do? I met with a church leader who told me she has waited 2 years to tell a board that their work was ineffective. No one was taking action.
The truth is, it was ineffective, partly, because for 2 years, she hadn’t spoken up about what she felt or thought.
I can relate. I have a persistent fear that if I say what I really see or believe or think then people won’t like me. Too often I censor what I say.
A friend helped me trace that fear back to it’s roots. Here’s how it goes: If people don’t like me, they’ll talk bad about me. If they talk bad about me, other people won’t like me. If no one likes me, then there will be no place I fit in. If there’s no place I fit in, I’ll have no choice but to die.
A-ha! It’s not an inconsequential fear. But it’s also not rational. I thought back to quite a few times when saying something that
needed to be said required particular courage. Never once did I die. Neither did anyone else! (That’s not true for all people all of the time of course. Think MLK. Think Jesus.)
Hmm….maybe the consequences for speaking my mind aren’t as dire as I supposed. In fact, others expressed relief and gratitude that SOMEBODY finally said SOMETHING.
Leaders lead. Even when it’s
unpopular.
What are others waiting for YOU to say or do?
On this MLK day, as you resolve to evolve, be bold! When it comes to speaking out for those on the margin, there are no end of things that NEED to be said. Resolve to say what God has placed on your heart. Live out your true calling as a leader. Somebody, somewhere, will be grateful you did.
I would love to hear how you are being bold this year! Or, if you’re having trouble finding the courage to do so. Let’s talk.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jan 8, 2014
As promised, here is the first of my top 5 or 6 tips for people of faith who are resolved to evolve this year! Here’s tip #1: Get Authentic.
When I pastored churches, I knew most of the people in the congregations I served–quite a few pretty well. We had conversations with some level of transparency on my part, and on theirs. Later, it surprised me to learn that all these folks I knew didn’t really know each other!
Never mind that some of them had been going to church together for decades.
They knew of each other, and about each other. But they didn’t really know each other. They weren’t genuinely friends.
Now that I work with churches in a variety of ways–leading retreats, teaching workshops, and coaching leaders–I can see that my congregations were not unique. Just because people worship together doesn’t mean they feel safe together.
That’s kinda strange, don’t you think?? We bring people together to study, worship and work. And even change the world. Without the kind of resilient bonds and relationships that make that do-able. Especially when conflict rolls around.
Would things change if your “community of faith” was truly acommunity? I mean, what if we truly knew each other–our weaknesses and our strengths? What if we were transparent with each other?
Jesus and his disciples hung out A LOT..they traveled together, ate together, debated together, fished together, partied together, fought together, learned together, made up together. They shared living space. Over time, they not only knew of and about each other, they were friends. That was a lot of time for transparency, authenticity. Tell me that didn’t have something to do with why they were so effective later on after Jesus died!
I listened to an interview recently about people who are spiritual but not religious. It pointed to another aspect of authenticity that religious people can learn from. It turns out those who identify as spiritual want, even more than those who are religious, to pose and savor good questions, to take on the status quo, and to freely express themselves in the process–without having to conform to pre-set norms. It’s in this process that they come alive, and experience the Divine.
My own belief, and my experience, is that as we are more truly ourselves–without trying to look good, follow the rules, or go along to get along–that God becomes most real. These epiphanies often happen in conversation with others.
So, for those who resolve to evolve in, here’s my suggestion: create the space and the permission where people can be authentically themselves. I’m thinking something like youth group for adults!
Why does Youth Group have the potential to be so transformative? And so hard? There’s no set agenda! You never know what students might bring up, or what personal problem or societal issue will become the topic of discussion. You never know who is going to cry. Nor who will shine. And how the group will bond, and come to experience God. But one thing you can count on: they will tell the truth, as they see it.
What if we set up those sorts of experiences for adults as well as youth? Experiences which let us truly get to know each other: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Here’s what I say: Let go of the pre-set agendas, and set the stage for transparency, tears, revelations, honesty. Kinda like Jesus did.
In his book Missional Renaissance, Reggie McNeal writes that for churches looking to go missional, people development must take priority over program development. Authenticity is a must for people development.
This year, as you resolve to evolve, resolve to get to know each other–at a whole new level. And do it more than just once a year. Plan a series of experiences that reward play, self-revelation, and self-awareness. In a word: authenticity. By all means, do it intergenerationally, whenever possible.
Some ideas:
- Go out to dinner together or have potlucks.
- Share your spiritual journeys.
- Do a project that groups or pairs people up and requires them to get to know each other.
If you’re looking for a retreat that builds a sense of the common good, and helps people truly get to know themselves and each other, click here to check out For the Common Good!
By the way, thanks to all those who answered last week’s fun question about Mr. Banks. We had a tie for the free book: congrats to winners GW Bill Warren and Deb Polanski!
Stay tuned for next week’s tip!
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | Jun 28, 2013
In my work with church leaders and their congregations, I often hear the words, “They’re all good people. Why can’t we just get along and work together?”
Great question! We’re all part of one human family, but that doesn’t save us from seemingly endless strife.
But there ARE ways to ease conflict in your church, ways that you can learn to work together with greater success and vitality than you’ve ever dreamed possible. With these 4 Steps to Easing Conflict, you really can stop pulling your hair out and put away the aspirin bottle!
1. Embrace Your Humanity.
Yep! The first step is all about YOU! Embrace your own humanity.
When conflict strikes, especially when it seems ever-present in our congregations, its easy to point a finger at ourselves. “I MUST be the problem!” But before you get too hard on yourself, take a step back. You’re doing God’s work and it wasn’t always easy for Jesus, either! Sometimes his message wasn’t well-received or fell on deaf ears. But, he kept on truckin’!
Conflict doesn’t signal disaster. In fact, it may be a sign that things are starting to work, that people are thinking and caring about what’s happening in your church and how to make things work better. They care enough to speak up and voice their opinions. A lack of conflict, in fact, could mean that nobody’s listening, nobody cares.
Building fair, just, honest and holy relationships is hard work! Accept that and accept yourself.
In the midst of arguments, hurt feelings, and temper tantrums, embrace your own humanity just as you are. Just as God does.
2. Discover What Motivates You and Those Around You.
How important are your motivators? Well, very important in easing conflict!
Take a look at what’s truly motivating you in your ministry. Is your priority building your congregation while your lay leaders are more concerned with community involvement? Are you trying to build a social justice ministry while their main focus is the next bake sale? Are you wanting to see changes NOW while they are working steadily at (what you consider) a snail’s pace?
Pace and Priority (those key words again!), don’t need to be the same to work together successfully and peacefully, but knowing your motivators and those of whom you’re working with, is essential.
3. Decode Conflict.
Once you’ve discovered motivations, it’s time to take the next step and decode the conflict that’s slowing you down. What’s really going on for your people when they’re in conflict?
If you know that Sasha’s conscientiousness motivates her to get things done systematically, completing one project before going on to the next, you can see why Martin’s enthusiasm and energy, his pace and desire to start new programs and ideas, might cause tension. Their Pace and Priority levels are very different.
But, once you have the tools to decode the conflict around you, to understand motivators, what makes people “tick”, you can help facilitate Sasha and Martin to the satisfaction of both and the benefit of your church!
4. Strategize for Success.
Now, that you’ve embraced your own humanity, as well as that of your church leaders, and understand that we all truly have different motivations though all for what each of us perceives as the good of the church, you can work together more efficiently in strategizing for the success of your church community!
Finally, kick back and breathe. Then breathe again. Trust God to lead you through the process.
I’m always here to help too. Send an email to of****@***************er.com if you’d like a complementary consultation about how to ease conflict in your congregation.
by Rebekah Simon-Peter | May 27, 2013
If you’re United Methodist clergy, you may be starting a new pastorate soon. If you’re a UM lay person, you could be on the receiving end of a new pastor.
Either way, it’s a good time to consider: What’s the culture of your congregation?
I mean apart from ethnicity, political affiliations, generations and socioeconomics?
Check out the video below to learn 3 principles of congregational culture + 3 tips for better understanding yours!
[youtube_sc url=”http://youtu.be/VWV9ERWrJo4″]
We are called to make disciples of Jesus Christ for the transformation of the world!
Are you ready to strengthen your leadership skills and expand your church’s ability to make disciples?
The DiSC and Discipleship Group Coaching Program is designed to help you do just that.
Contact us for a free consultation and to learn more about the culture of your congregation!
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