Is it Possible to Love One Another as Jesus Loves Us?

Is it Possible to Love One Another as Jesus Loves Us?

Lenten Practices

 

During Lent, we remember Jesus’ command: “Love one another as I have loved you.” My question is: is it still possible to love one another as Jesus loved us? We live in a world of us versus them, a culture of contempt. We are broken into camps around politics, theology, and understandings of race. Don’t forget human sexuality, biblical authority, and denominational structures. Did I mention the pandemic? Frankly, some of us are too tired to even be patient, let alone loving. Even with all that said, I promise you we don’t have to give up on love. In this article, I want to share the top four ways to practice love this Lent.

 

Does Love Equal Approval?

First, I want to share one common concern. That’s the concern that love means approval. If I am called to love you, but we disagree about fundamental understandings of the world, am I compromising my faith? Am I sending the signal that I approve of what I believe is sinful or unjust behavior?

Here’s what I have found. Loving as Jesus loved does not mean acceptance of behaviors or beliefs. It does however equal acceptance of the other person’s humanity, and their inner divinity. No matter how misguided you think their beliefs and behaviors are. In the end, judgement is God’s domain, not ours.

Now, on to the problem and the solutions: the four ways to practice love this Lent.

 

Why Loving as Christ Loved is Hard

Polarization tends to beget polarization and it takes us farther and farther from Jesus’ command. Polarization is built on fear and judgement. “I am right, and you are wrong. In fact, you are so wrong that I can’t trust you, talk with you, or even be me when you are here.”

These victim stances have no place in the consciousness of Christ. He ate with sinners. He interacted with Pilate. He did not try to winnow out the “other.” He allowed Judas to remain. He set personal differences aside and, in their place, created community amongst his people.

 

Four Ways to Practice Love This Lent

1) Practice Looking for Common Value Polarizing constructs are only given life when we act on them. By letting go of “us versus them,” you take the first steps toward loving as Jesus loved, and to creating community. Instead, let polarization dissolve by embracing the opposites, or by finding, identifying, and focusing on common underlying values.

2) Practice Listening When you are with someone you don’t love, listen for their humanity. Put yourself in their shoes. Ask: how has your personal journey brought you to this place? How has it shaped your perspectives?

3) Practice Extending Grace The person you can’t stand to love may look at you the same way you look at them. Surprise them by extending grace. Give them grace to make a mistake, to be on a different journey, to grow in their own timeline, and to be recipients of God’s love, and yours.

4) Practice Praying If you can’t find love within you, ask God to show you how, to teach you how to love them. If that doesn’t work, keep praying.

 

It’s Possible to Love One Another as Jesus Loves Us

The pandemic has shown us that there is no us versus them. There is only us. People from every walk of life and every country on earth have been impacted by the pandemic. If we hope to come through it with any sense of unity, we have to practice loving one another as Jesus loved us. It’s not automatic; it takes intention. I invite you to take on these four practices this Lent: looking for common values, listening, extending grace, and praying.

We don’t know everything the post-pandemic future holds, but the more we trust God in our approach, the more that we can live by Jesus’ command. Then, the more confident we’ll be knowing that we can survive and even thrive once again.

Excerpted and adapted from Rebekah Simon-Peter’s upcoming book (Market Square Publishers, 2022)

Copyright © 2022 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Walk the Path of Healing through Lent

Walk the Path of Healing through Lent

The Covid-19 pandemic has brought about a world of change. Many congregations have been weighed down with grief, resentment, and fear, unable to move forward. This year, I want to show you how to walk the path of healing through Lent. In this article, I’ll share how to move through the stages of repentance, remembrance, acceptance, forgiveness, gratitude, and embracing on each of the six Sundays of Lent.

 

A Day of Repentance

Repentance means to turn back to God. Recognize how you may have played a part in harming another. Did you push people away with acts of injustice or ignore a neighbor? Did you contribute to acts of polarization or lose the way of hope? Congregational acts of repentance include sending out the prayer of confession and pardon from the United Methodist service of Holy Communion, asking your congregation to read and reflect on it, and bring their contemplations to worship. Read the prayer slowly and deliberately to truly grasp the depth of each line.

 

A Day of Remembrance

Spend time as a congregation in active remembrance. Remember those who have passed and the gifts that they brought. Remember the ones you could not visit and their seat in the sanctuary. Remember your family members, neighbors, and loved ones who have died because of Covid or other causes. Acknowledge human loss, offer thanksgiving for their legacy, and joy that death is not the end of life. Celebrate Holy Communion as a congregational act of remembering, that at this sacred table we gather together with those on the journey of life and with those who are in our great cloud of witnesses.

 

A Day of Acceptance

Acceptance tends to be a touchy subject.  We saw this on the national stage as the country debated the existence of Covid and the legitimacy of the election process. In the church, acceptance is deeply connected with faith. Degrees of faith tend to be used as a measuring stick for whom we accept and whom we do not. The truth is, acceptance does not mean approval. Acceptance is simply the willingness to recognize what is so, whether you personally believe it is good or not. It is an act of surrender, a way to release control over what we never had control of in the first place. Congregational acts of acceptance include creating a personal or communal “bulletin” board that represents all the changes that have taken place during the pandemic: what has been gained and what has been lost. This “bulletin” board can then become a point for reflective prayer.

 

A Day of Forgiveness

Forgiveness is necessary when harm has been done. The pandemic has evoked many strong opinions and reactions among us. Whether it is the issue of vaccines and masks, politics and the presidential election, or social distancing and working from home, it feels like a thousand different harms pulled us further away from each other. I’ve spoken to many friends, family members, and colleagues whose sorrow has led to resentment, blame, and judgement. While blame and judgement seem understandable in extreme circumstances, the rancor that lives within is poisonous to your body, mind, and spirit. Forgiveness opens the way for healing to begin.  Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you condone someone else’s behavior. It means that you are willing to stop carrying the harm within yourself. Congregational acts of forgiveness include prayer for oneself, friends, and enemies, and the surrender of resentment and rancor to God’s loving care.

 

A Day of Gratitude

Gratitude is the heart’s response to the gifts of God. Although much has been lost during the pandemic, much has also been gained. Amplify the feelings of gratitude within your heart by counting your blessings. Take time to reflect on and recognize all that you can be thankful for, and what you have learned from the changes that have taken place. Congregational acts of gratitude include hymn sings, sharing of testimonies, and acts of service for others.

 

A Day of Embracing

Embracing is a positive, proactive act that allows one to move forward into a new future. It’s an open heart that can both pray “thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” and “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” This kind of embracing embodies the unconditional love of God that flows outward to all, no strings attached. Congregational acts of embracing include reciting affirmations of faith, anointing, and speaking new visions into life.

As we approach Lent, which of these congregational acts will prepare your people to receive the gifts of resurrection? Which will bring healing, wholeness, and a renewed awe on this gift we call life? Even though the pandemic is not over, it’s time to look ahead for what new plans God is unfolding. We won’t be ready to receive them unless we repent, remember, accept, forgive, express gratitude, and embrace.

While we can’t rush the process, once we walk the path through these six stages, we can be ready once again to co-create miracles with God.

If you’re ready to take the next step, please join me for Jesus-Sized Dreams for Small-Sized Churches, a three-session workshop where you’ll learn how to Dream Like Jesus and bring renewal to your congregation and community.

 

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Preparing for Lent

Preparing for Lent

Let me guess.  You read the title of this week’s blog post and thought to yourself, “Preparing for Lent?! I have almost 2 months of worship to prepare for before I even think about Lent.” While that is true, the Lenten season will be here before we know it. And I believe that, considering the past two years, we have a lot of work to do to truly be ready to rise at Easter.

So much has changed.  We’ve missed celebrating birthday parties, graduations, wedding anniversaries, even weddings themselves.  We’ve watched as people have turned on one another and experience heartache as friendships are lost, damaged, even destroyed.  Fighting across the aisle has been turned up to a level that borders on uncivilized.  What happens in our world tends to make its way into the church, as they watch their numbers dwindle, some as a result of relocation or a specific political view, others who have moved from this life into the next. The whole matter of loved ones dying and family and friends not being able to grieve in the usual ways, mourn communally, or mark their passing has slowed down people’s ability to rebound.

Not being able to grieve the losses of the pandemic has left us stuck, feeling incomplete and even isolated. Many people have died alone, without family or friends to visit, without pastoral calls or prayer. This has weighed heavy on churches and their leaders. Grief in and of itself is hard to bear. Weighed down by unprocessed grief, it’s hard for churches to move forward. Indeed, it’s hard for the world to move forward, as we are all grieving something or someone. When mourners are unable to share stories and be comforted by one another or have a place to go long afterwards, it creates a deep sense of displacement.

A May 2020 study on grief published in Psychiatry stated, “Funeral and burial rituals are important for the affective adjustment of people grieving the loss of a loved one and mourners who drew comfort from planning and participating in the funeral were shown to achieve better outcomes in later grief. From this perspective, being prevented from holding a proper funeral for their loved ones might prevent COVID-19 mourners from gaining awareness of the reality of the death and from understanding and framing their loss, besides eliminating a significant important occasion of social support.”

Preparing for Lent

How does the church move on from this experience? The time between now and Lent is our opportunity to do so. Below are five ways that you can help your congregation move forward.

1. We would do well to look at the Jewish traditions for grieving. In traditional Judaism, funerals happen as soon as possible after a death occurs and the following week is spent solely at home with family and members of the Jewish community. Customary prayers are recited daily to honor the dead. This week is intended to focus on accepting loss and to encourage healing. A longer, formal mourning process lasts 30 days, where mourners slowly reintegrate themselves into the world. Prayers continue to be recited daily. If a parent is lost, this formal mourning lasts eleven months. In the eleventh month, an unveiling ceremony takes place, wherein the gravestone is revealed. In the years that follow on the anniversary of death, a candle that burns for 24 hours is lit in memory of the deceased. Setting precedence for a longer mourning process will help those that are grieving create expectations and know that they are not leaving their loved ones behind.

2. Draw comfort from your faith, focus on your wellbeing, and set boundaries. Being church leaders, we’re sometimes expected to have all the answers. I’m sure you’ve had members of your congregations and communities ask how they are supposed to navigate these times. You may be lost, feeling like you’re trying to figure that out right now too. Not having all the answers can make you feel inadequate, or like you aren’t doing “enough.” This isn’t true. Trying to do everything only leads to burn-out and emotional fatigue.

3. Acknowledge that we are living in a different time. Be resourceful with how you can bring people together. Now, more than ever, it is so important that we make social connections a priority. Zoom, Microsoft Teams, Facetime, and other video conferencing platforms are great for bringing people together, while still maintaining social distance.

4. Create emotionally safe spaces for people to share their hurt without feeling judged. Do your best to listen to those that feel comfortable enough to share these deeply personal feelings with you. Oftentimes, listening and truly being present is more consoling than offering advice or explanation.

5. Encourage those that you support to create their own rituals. Journaling, doing activities that remind them of their loved ones, or planting a tree in their memory are all healthy and effective ways for others to express their feelings and continue in the healing process.

It goes without saying that we aren’t going to be able to change everything, but we do have the power to change certain things. These changes will make a difference in how those in our congregations and communities experience and grapple with grief. Addressing these now will allow us to truly be prepared for Lent and to rise for the resurrection.

Excerpted and adapted from Rebekah Simon-Peter’s upcoming book, Growing the Post-Pandemic Church (Market Square Publishers, 2022)

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Weakened Democracy Makes for Weakened Churches

Weakened Democracy Makes for Weakened Churches

We are one year out from the insurrection at the US Capitol building in which riotous crowds did great damage to the building, threatened US Congresspeople—both Democratic and Republican—beat Capitol police, and tried to stop the counting of electoral votes. Moderates are retiring, leaving more extreme voices at the forefront of leadership. This trend results in weakened democracy.

A recent piece in the Wall Street Journal, a conservative, no-nonsense newspaper, notes that in the year past, the unthinkable has happened. Instead of former president Trump’s influence waning through this obvious attack on the institutions of democracy, as of late 2021, 81% of Republicans have a favorable impression of Trump while 57% continue to believe the false story of stolen elections. His standing among many Republicans is stronger than ever as he continues to trumpet the falsehoods of a stolen election. Meanwhile a sustained investigation by the Associated Press has shown that less than 475 votes of the millions cast during the 2020 presidential election might be potentially fraudulent.

When truth is attacked, questioned, battered, and simply negated through the repetition of falsehood, and the false is lifted as true, democracy suffers.

 

How Weakened Democracy Weakens Churches

Meanwhile, this degradation of democracy has not stopped at the doors of the church. Rather, skewed narratives of true and false have infiltrated, fractured, and polarized congregations. This divisiveness shows up in the partisan-inspired debates over COVID-19, masks, vaccines, and safety. Managing this internal opposition has stretched pastors to the limit as they add this to the long list of dramatic changes to manage.

In the polarized environment in which we live, weak democracy makes for weak churches. Of course, it’s not just weak democracy that weakens churches. As I note elsewhere, congregations have been in decline due to other internal factors.

Even so, government has not always had such an outsize influence on churches. For example, during the early days of the church, under repressive Roman rule, the church flourished and thrived. At that time, Jesus was not equated with political processes. Rather, he stood in opposition to the powers that be. His rule was a countercultural one of love, inclusion, hospitality, miracles, and the Kingdom of God.

 

When Jesus is Equated with Political Identities

That’s not always the case now. When Jesus is equated with political identities the church suffers because the followers of Jesus are now asked to serve a lesser power. Instead of the ultimate command to love God, neighbor and self, they are subject to the whims and manipulations of partisan politics. The common good is pushed aside for monied interests, power grabs, self-serving falsehoods, and even coup attempts. Jesus’ followers, blessings, and Kingdom are easily manipulated by leaders who are not necessarily aligned with the Gospel message.

 

What Can the Church Do?

As we approach the Day of Epiphany—the day in which Jesus is recognized as the incarnation of God, we also approach the anniversary of the Capitol insurrection and a failed coup attempt of the US government.  On the Day of Epiphany and beyond we are faced with two opposing images of power: one that manifests the love of God in humble human life, and one that selfishly attacks civic institutions that safeguard democracy.

Which image of power will the church choose to recognize? To follow? To emulate?

Even more important are these questions: How will we separate fact from fiction?  How will we tease apart lies from truth?

The church would do well to teach people how to hear each other, to respect each other, and to discern the truth. For the bottom line is that, in these polarized times—when democracy is weakened—the church is weakened too. This dual weakness does not serve our communities, our message, or the Kingdom of God.

 

Putting Jesus First

When the church puts Jesus—not politics—first, true strength can grow. This strength is borne of love, forgiveness and humility. This kind of strength is good for everyone. It’s the soil in which the Kingdom of God, the Beloved Community, can take root. That is good for the church, for society, and for democracy.

We must seek to strengthen the church and the communities we serve through love of God, neighbor and self to navigate polarizing times.

May God be with us as we seek anew to follow Jesus.

 

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Has the Mission of the Post-Pandemic Church Changed?

Has the Mission of the Post-Pandemic Church Changed?

So much has changed during the pandemic. How and when we worship. Who shows up in person and who doesn’t. All these changes lead to an important question: Has the mission of the post-pandemic church changed?

The problem with this topic is that there are two answers.  Not only that, these two answers are diametrically opposed. First answer: no.  Second answer: yes. Let’s dive into this conundrum, starting with the “no.”

As Christians, we take our marching orders from Jesus’ Great Commission. “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely, I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

It’s pretty clear: we are to go far and wide to make disciples, baptize and pass on what we have learned from Jesus.  This is a word-of-mouth endeavor, authorized by Jesus himself.  In all the centuries since Matthew first wrote these words, these have been our marching orders.  They have not changed.

What has changed, though, is how we make disciples. Because in light of the pandemic, and all the changes it has wrought, how we interpret the Great Commission has most definitely changed.

 

The Myth that Nothing Should Change

Now don’t get these changes confused with the eternity of God. Just because Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forevermore, doesn’t mean that how we share the Gospel remains the same. It has to change with the times.  In the early days of George Whitefield and John Wesley’s preaching, they took their message directly to colliers or coalminers to preach to folks in the open air. Today, people watch YouTube videos or Facebook Live for spiritual sustenance. In those days, Whitefield and Wesley gathered people in bands and classes to grow in covenantal Christian relationship. Today, we need to find new ways to touch and organize people so they too can grow in the knowledge and love of God.

 

tiny model of a church

It’s Not about Making Your Church Better

Today, many congregations live out disciple-making by focusing their efforts on strengthening their church and trying to attract people to it. In this model, a big, busy, active church equals disciple-making and is seen as the fulfillment of Jesus’ Great Commission. I call this model the church improvement plan.

There is nothing inherently wrong with this model.  In years past the church improvement plan of disciple-making worked well. Those years, however, were pretty well over even before the pandemic began. The steady decline of active participation in churches over the last five-seven decades points to that reality.

But because this model has been so ingrained in the culture of many congregations, it has been hard to let it go. Or to envision what is next. But if you don’t spend time discovering what is next, you will be neglecting new ways of implementing the Great Commission.

 

How Do We Make Disciples Post-Pandemic?

Let me share three ways to move forward with the post-pandemic mission of the church: Develop fresh expression, keep hybrid connections alive, and refresh your leadership.

Develop Fresh Expressions

Before the pandemic, church leaders had begun to recognize “Fresh Expressions” of mission as a viable way to disciple people. “Pub Theology” or “Bible and Beer” initiatives were popping up in many locations. This is an ancient/new practice of meeting people right where they are to deepen their spirituality and lead them into discipleship.

Different from mission trips to assist people in rebuilding their homes or communities—which are often seen as more charitable outreaches, and where the primary recipients of spiritual growth were the missioners—these Fresh Expressions are expressly about connecting with and discipling new people in unique ways, and through methods different than sanctuary-based worship or building-based Bible study.

Keep Hybrid Connections Alive

The Fresh Expressions movement has prepared us for the surprising and unexpected revelation of the pandemic: we don’t need buildings to be the church.  Unlike Fresh Expressions, we found that we didn’t even need to be in the same room with each other to be in community. The use of technology through online worship, bible study, and prayer has brought people together across the miles, across the country, even across the world. Keep this hybrid option alive and well as you continue to journey forward.

We’ve done it too, in the Creating a Culture of Renewal community. We moved our three-day retreats online. We found that with thoughtful planning and creative execution, 30-50 participants at a time could worship and learn together and grow bonds of fellowship that allowed for vulnerability and transparency.  Without getting too Zoom-numb or distracted. This online format also allowed us to introduce cohorts from different regions who never would have been able to meet otherwise.  We connected people across state lines, regional boundaries, denominations, and leadership roles. Each of us from our living rooms, home offices, often surrounded by pets, children, and the accoutrements of home.

During the pandemic, people realized they could work from home, worship from anywhere in the world, and learn from unexpected sources about the world, God, and faith.  Now that we know this, we aren’t likely to forget it. People will want more options going forward.

Refresh Your Leadership Skills

In these changing times, it’s important to refresh your leadership skills, learn new ways to navigate relationships, and up your emotional intelligence. Just as the world is changing, so must we. All so that we can adapt to meet people where they are now.

 

Next Steps

As you find new ways to reach people post-pandemic, keep in mind Fresh Expressions, hybrid forms of connection, and refreshing your own leadership skills. 

Adapted from the upcoming book: Growing the Post-Pandemic Church: Rebuilding and Recreating Your Congregation (Market Square 2022).

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.

Jesus Before Christmas

Jesus Before Christmas

Christmas wasn’t always part of the Christian experience.  There’s no record that Jesus or his disciples or the early church celebrated Christmas at all, as they did all the Jewish holy days and holidays. In fact, the first Christmas or Christ Mass wasn’t celebrated until the 4th century.  It’s likely Jesus wasn’t even born in the winter. Rather, it’s thought that December 25 was chosen as a day to celebrate his birth because it coincided with a pre-existing pagan festival. That would make it easy for non-Christians to add a new layer of meaning to their old celebrations. That happens in the history of religion.

The interesting thing though is that December 25 wasn’t just the date of a pagan festival. It also coincides, in a way, with a festival that Jesus did actually celebrate.

Like Jews of his time, Jesus celebrated the Feast of Dedication which occurs on the 25th of Kislev, a month in the Jewish calendar that most closely approximates December.  “At that time,” the Gospel according to John relates, “the Feast of Dedication took place in Jerusalem; it was winter. Jesus was walking in the Temple in the portico of Solomon. Tell us,” the Jews said, “if you are the Messiah.”  Their comments were fitting, for the Feast of Dedication marked the last time a deliverer had arisen to save them from oppression.   It was past time for another; the Roman experience was a cruel one indeed.

The Feast of Dedication commemorates the re-dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem after its utter desecration at the brutal hands of Antiochus Epiphanes about 170 years BC. Today, that feast is known by its Hebrew name, Chanukah. Although Chanukah only gets a line or two in the New Testament, it actually plays a huge role in the birth of Jesus.

A Peek into History

To explain, we have to go back in history over three hundred years before the birth of Christ.  Alexander the Great ruled the ancient world around the Eastern Mediterranean. After conquering the Persian Empire, Greek culture, or Hellenism, spread like wildfire. The Jews living in Israel quickly found themselves surrounded by it and then almost swallowed up by it. Hellenism was to the ancient world what Western culture is to the modern world. Just as you can find a McDonald’s in just about every corner of the world, not to mention American pop music, blue jeans, TV re-runs, Western style Christianity, and the English language, so in that day, you could find Greek culture, religion, and language permeating every other culture of the world. Needless to say, it wasn’t all good, especially for those in the minority, like the Jews.  It put their whole distinctive way of life at risk.

After Alexander died, his empire eventually fell into the hands of one Antiochus IV Epiphanes.

Epiphanes means “face of God,” but a more apt description was the moniker the Jews gave him: “Epimanes” or “crazy man.”  He was the Hitler of the intertestamental period.  Like Hitler, he was obsessed with wiping out the Jewish people.  He began with the slaughter of the citizens of Jerusalem and the desecration of the Temple.  Alfred Edersheim explains what happened in his book, The Life and Times of Jesus the Messiah:

“All sacrifices, the service of the Temple, and the observance of the Sabbath and of feast days were prohibited; the Temple at Jerusalem was dedicated to Jupiter Olympus (a Greek god); the Torah was searched for and destroyed; the Jews forced to take part in heathen rites; in short, every insult was heaped on the religion of the Jews, and its every trace was to be swept away.”

Bottom line:  Antiochus was bent on genocide. The final straw was the slaughter of a pig on the sacrificial altar in the Temple. Definitely not kosher. This occurred on the 25th of Kislev, the month that generally corresponds to our December.

A Jewish deliverer rose up whose name was Mattathias. Even though they were outnumbered and overpowered, under his leadership the Jewish people began a campaign of guerilla warfare against Antiochus and his Syrian armies to reclaim the Temple.  Mattathias died fighting, but his five sons carried on, including one whose name you might know: Judah Maccabee. He led the fighting till the Temple could be purified and its services restored.

Christmas without Chanukah

Exactly three years after its desecration, the Temple was rededicated.  This took place on the 25th of Kislev, about 165 years before the nativity of Christ.  If Antiochus had carried out his plan, there would have been no Mary, no Joseph, and no Jesus.  There would have been no Messiah of Israel, no Savior of the World.  Bottom line:  without Chanukah, there would be no Christmas. Jesus owed his life to Chanukah. In a sense, we owe our faith to it.

As you prepare for Advent, let us remember the minor Jewish holiday that celebrates freedom of religion and which makes possible the major Christian one.  Let’s do like Jesus did and re-dedicate ourselves to freedom of religious expression, to the freedom to dedicate ourselves to God, and to truly love one another. 

That being said, I’m hosting a fun and interactive workshop that will help you do just that.  “Platinum Rule Leadership in Changing Times” promotes forgiveness, compassion, understanding, and self-awareness.  I hope you can join me.

 

Adapted from Christmas through Jewish Eyes, by Rebekah Simon-Peter.

Copyright © 2021 rebekahsimonpeter.com, All Rights Reserved.